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Do you &/or when do you let go?
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So another post mentioned about letting them go alone for hisotry. That got me thinking do you let them start to go it alone for school around the jr high/high school time? So you are just there for helping and guiding.
My son will be in 7th grade and I do (for this child) believe he’d much rather go at his history alone. I don’t mind this I’m just wondering if at this age it’s normal for the kids to want to start going at it alone for many reasons, to do it at there time frame, to not have to sit with the littler ones all the time waiting on them to get it, etc. But sticking with a family idea on things like art, music, etc.
Just wondering your thoughts. Thanks Misty
Yes, mine start doing more on their own about junior high time. I don’t know how it is for girls, 🙂 but my boys are definitely ready to spend less time hanging out on the couch with me by then. They switch to using me more as a sounding/discussion board. I hated this at first, but now I really treasure the time. I love hearing what they really think of what they are reading–their opinions are so interesting, they are so passionate about some things! I still miss all of us doing everything together, but on the other hand they are turning out to be such interesting people. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this! They like having input on what they study and what resources we use, they like figuring out how to use their time themselves, they like deciding when and where they will work on school. It takes getting used to, but on the other hand it’s going to be so soon that they are off at college, I think it’s good they are trying their wings a little here first.
My girls started independent work about the same time, junior high. They have always liked to read more independently and then tell me about the book or have discussions, it came naturally to them and so I let them run with it. We always have a family reader going even now that they are young adults, we enjoy that family time. We also still do a Shakespeare play as a read aloud each taking various parts, which is a lot of fun. I have always taught them that everyone comes at things with their own personal bias, so it is important that they learn to think and have opinions themselves – we keep the lines of communication open, but I value their thoughts and opinions and we do not always agree on things, however on most we do. We choose our curriculum together but then how they get it done on a daily basis is up to them, they know what they have to do and do it. If it is not done, then there are consequences, like missing a riding lesson or some such thing – that seldom happens now, though it did at the start. Even girls need to know they can spread their wings a bit in the safety of home and have valuable opinions and thoughts on things I think – so that is what we have done. Linda
thanks for your responses it’s nice to know that this is a natural time to let them start heading to do their studies independent even maybe the family ones that it seems more fitting. So nice to have this board to look to in all areas of life. Thanks everyone
I have a quick question regarding this too: do your kids mainly do the independent work for their history and literature only? or does this carry over for science too?
-Tanya
I have them working separately for science as well. They need MUCH more complicated work at high school age, my younger son couldn’t possibly follow it. My sons read their books on their own and narrate to me or outline or do a written narration. I am their “lab assistant” during experiments so I can give occasional advice but I try to let them do as much as possible on their own. They’ll be off in a year or three in college not having a mommy lab assistant, lol, so yes. We only do a short period of things together with my high schoolers–we have a devotional period each morning and include some religious topics, music, art, and then in the evenings we all do our logic/thinking skills and Shakespeare or Plutarch together. The rest my older sons have on their own. There are drawbacks to that–but also benefits in watching these older boys gain independence and grow and develop but still in the safety of the home.
Like Michelle, mine just show me their written work, and narrate and the rest they do themselves – it is important they learn these skills for the future. Of course I am always around for guidance but I don’t do things for them. The only things we do together are the family reader in the evenings, the Shakespeare extra play we do as a family and the music DVDs we watch and other documentaries. We also do crafting together. Academics, time management and study time they do themselves. We have a Bible reading time in the evening as well. Linda
So really at this point to just say it in my words:
They do everything indedpendent except: Shakespeare, picture study, hymn, poetry, composer, (maybe) a family literature, & handicraft/arts, which can all really when looking at this be done in a short time.
Are your older kids doing a specific nature study at this point or just learning on their own and being outside?
My daughters don’t have a specific nature study now, though they help with the garden and then quite naturally bugs and plants come up and of course birds. Both girls love nature, so they often are researching things on their own – we do spend a lot of time outside and at the barn and see lots there as well – so it is still part of learning, just no longer formal. What you wrote is about it, that is at least the way we do things. The things they do alone with just guidance and marking are Math, Composition, literature, history, geography, science and foreign language. The rest is done with family involvement of some sort. Linda
Misty, We still do nature study together when we can, but the difficulty of teen schedules makes it hard–they have Scouting, church responsibilities, friends, and jobs, so we don’t always get out every week. It’s more episodic, sometimes as part of a family activity like hiking or geocaching. Of course they are both very involved in Scouting which gets them outside a LOT–one of my sons is living and working at a Scout camp all summer and the other is on a backpacking/whitewater rafting trip right now, so I take my younger son out regularly and include the older boys when I can.
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