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Disinterested 13 year old
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Hello everyone! I am in need of some Mom support!!!
June is my mental health month. I clean up the education materials I have. Wrap up outstanding issues and then take a break.
July begins my planning and purchasing. However, I am finding it difficult getting motivated.
I have a 13 year old son I have home educated since 2nd grade. It has been a struggle since day 1. Each year I think it’s going to get better. But each year he complains about the amount of work, does not like this or that, does not want to go on field trips, on and on. The shame of it is, he is a bright young man and capible of handling anything I give to him. His attitude toward reading/learning is negative.
I have tried many different methods and still he complains. His idea of a great education day would be read a chapter in a book, watch a video and get out of his way so he can worked at all his electronic devices (which we time control).
I am frustrated and discouraged at this point and need some helpful advise and direction.
I’m reading an interesting book called Boys Adrift – The Five Factors Driving the Growing Epidemic of Unmotivated Boys and Underachieving Young Men by Ronald Sax M.D., Ph.D. He summarizes each chapter’s “findings” at the end of the chapter. I’m sure your local library would have a copy. I’ve really been “wowed” by a lot of what he says. Maybe you’ll see something in it that helps?
Reading your note, my other thought would be to sit down and ask him what his year would look like if he planned it himself. Make sure he understands first you’re asking him for his academic plan and not a plan for his own free time by explaining we’d all like to do whatever we wanted but that we all have to do certain things in order to become independent and mature into adults. (or something along those lines) Maybe having his own voice, seeing what options are out there to choose from, looking at different subject materials would make him feel empowered or more interested?
I recently talked with a teenaged boy who was leading a group of homeschoolers on the National Geographic BioBlitz and throughout our day he revealed he had been homeschooled until 10th grade but that then his relationship with his mother became so strained that they both decided he should go to school for the rest of his education. He loved homeschooling so it made me curious to learn more about the dynamics of boys and boys and mothers as they homeschool. Obviously I want to prevent this with my own son too!
Hang in there! We’ve all struggled somewhere and we all will again. I am sorry to hear it has been so hard all along. Maybe some soul searching on why that is the case would help you both. Is it time, curriculum, style, atmosphere, groups, etc.? Hopefully some others will help with their comments too.
I agree with Claire. I am also struggling a bit with my 13yo dd. She mentioned this summer that she might want to go to school. She’s very social and she thinks school would be easier. Hubby and I listened to her reasons and offered her choices. We’re planning more outings with friends, even if to study together. I also plan to let her make some choices about school. That’s a struggle for me….I have things pretty much planned.
Does your son have hobbies/interests? My dd just doesn’t do much and it’s been hard to motivate her to try something new lately. She loves her dogs and her friends, and we require piano lessons….but I think it’s important for her to develop a passion. We’re going to require her to pick SOMETHING to learn next year that interests her. And I plan to have a talk with her about school and how it’s for HER and her future. I don’t know if that helps or not. But at this age I do think its important for them to have more ownership and say in what/how they learn. Best wishes, Gina
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