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Discouraged Single Mom
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My husband left us 4 years ago, no contact with the kids for 4 years either This time of year is particulary hard for me. I have 5 children, 4 of whom I homeschool and one in college who I never homeschooled. This is my 3rd year homeschooling. I was called my God to school my children. I currently homeschool a 13yr old ds, 10 yr old ds, 9 yr old ds, and a 7 yr old dd. My 13 yr old son is challenging me in his schooling. He does not like school and can no stand reading. I am quite discouraged. I have been considering putting him back in public school. My oldest is home for Thanksgiving and suggested I put him in public school. He does not know that I have been considering it. I do not have TOTAL peace about it though. My reason for thinking about public school are different then his. I was thinking it would solve my struggles with him. He desires to be around more of kids his own age. In addition to his moodiness and lack of interest in school, we desperately need to on habits.
Where do I begin? I have Laying Down the Rails, praise the Lord! Due to our low finances, I am unable to purchase the children companion. I welcome all advice!! My thought are this….drop all subjects except habits and reading. A friend suggested that I help him develop a love a reading. After this, everything else with come. My youngest 2 children (never public schooled) love reading and my 3 oldest (public schooled) do not care for it at all. It breaks my heart. I am really leaning towards school consistenting of habits and reading for a term. The negativity is spilling over to my 10 year old and I just have to prevent that from going any further.
Anybody out there struggle with a 13 year old boy? Being a mother has always been rewarding for me, however, being a single mother is the hardeat thing I have EVER had to do.
Please forgive me if I sound like I’m complaining. I love the God and only want to represent him in a positive way!
Hello Tjbowman,
I just wanted to post quick and let you know you are not alone. 🙂 I was a single mom for 8 years and home schoooled my two oldest through that time- they are now graduated. It was hard- one of the hardest things I have ever done- but worth every worry, every sleepless night, and every struggle with attitude and habit and discouragement. I did give in at one point and put them in school for 18 months before pulling them out and going the rest of the way at home. School was a mistake for our family.
I don’t have time now, but will be back after the holiday to post more. Don’t give up- God’s got your back on this one!
Praying for you today. Homeschooling as a single mom must be hard, hard, hard. I don’t think you need to feel badly if you need to cut back to just reading and habit training for awhile. Those are issues that will need to be addressed whether or not you decide to put him into school.
Dear Tj,
I am a single mom. I’m on my 19th year of homeschooling. I also have a 13 year old son. I know you know this; you are a single mom and we live by this principle!!! It’s how we breathe and move and surivive and eventually shine…
Sink deep into YOUR HUSBAND’s arms, tell HIM your troubles. Wait for HIS answer and direction. It will come, not in your timing, but it will come! Wait!
God just brought this scripture to me. Please breathe deeply, quiet yourself, read this softly outloud. Let His Word for you wash over you slowly and fully!
Psalm 46
1God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change
And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;
3 Though its waters roar and foam,
Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah.4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
The holy dwelling places of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
6 The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered;
He raised His voice, the earth melted.
7 The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah.8 Come, behold the works of the Lord,
Who has wrought desolations in the earth.
9 He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two;
He burns the chariots with fire.
10 “Cease striving and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
11 The Lord of hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah.I don’t know what God’s plans are for your son. I want to think, He will allow you to keep him at home – He will make a way. But, I don’t know that. Some things I do know:
You need to respect your son as you would your husband, if you had one. Ask him questions instead of demanding.
Motivate him with your encoragement and not your disappointment.
Remind him of God’s grace, faithfulness and goodness constantly.
13 year old sons with fathers have a hard time. Your 13 year old son will have a harder time without a father. Same struggles just more intense.
He needs a godly role male role model. PRAY with all your might for this. Beg your pastor, a friends husband… Do everything you can to find this for him! (I am still really struggling with finding a godly man willing to do this!).
You can not be for him what he needs to have as a budding man; but you can be for him what God needs you to be for him – a mother. Gentle, strong, quiet, encouraging (1 Peter 3). Do it! When you fail – humbly ask for forgiveness.
Single homeschool mothering is a humble walk that is a bloody mess at times. We don’t get praise or thanksgiving in audible words very often. The stress… the constant lack of… BUT GOD! Go back and read the psalm again. These are God’s words to you, God’s beloved Child!
When you come to the end of your race in this place we are visiting, and you see YOUR HUSBAND face to face, in the eteranal home He is building for you. HE will say to you, “Well done, good and faithful Wife and Mother! Come! Let us rejoice that we are finally together again!” And that, will be enough… THAT wil be glorious!
@Pollysoup, THANK YOU! That was a powerful emotional message full of encouragement!
@curlywhirly, I look forward to hearing from you!
@jeaninpa, thanks for the prayers!
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