discipling

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  • March 3, 2011 at 11:18 pm
    mommytofive
    Member

    Hi Nina,

    I can totally relate! My oldest son is 13, and there are some days I want to hide in my room and cry. We both tend to butt heads – I too need some sort of “go to” list to help me stay on track with how to discipline and get to the heart of the matter.

    I believe someone mentioned a book by Ginger Plowman? But she has a great tool called “Wise Words for Moms”. It is in the format of a calendar and it lists in columns Child’s behavior (such as aggravating, stirring up strife, complaining…), next comlumn is heart probing questions, next column is a bible verse to “reproof” the behavior, then it’s followed by another column with Bible verse to Encourage your child/teen.

    I love this tool! I keep in on a clipboard and carry it with me all day, in the car, etc…It covers a lot of behavior issues:

    • Defiant looks

    • discontent

    • disobeying

    • fear

    • lying

    • quarreling

    • revenge

    • selfishness

    • tattling

    • teasing/tearing down others

    • whining

    • worry

    I can use this with my 4 year old and my 13 year old. Now, I am not perfect, and I am not always consistent. But when I use this, I find myself not “reacting” in anger. I am now looking for the issues at heart and how to encourage him. Hope this is helpful and not totally confusing!

    Kristi

    March 4, 2011 at 7:39 pm
    Nina
    Participant

    Kristi where would I find this list 🙂

    March 4, 2011 at 7:54 pm
    Misty
    Participant

    I also would love to know!

    March 4, 2011 at 8:33 pm
    mommytofive
    Member

    I had a dear friend give this to me, but you can easily buy it on Amazon. I just looked it up too – it’s only $4.00!! It is such a wonderful tool! When your on the Amazon home page, just type in the search box “Wise Words for Moms”. It is a “pamphlet” by Ginger Plowman – black and white. But it is not a small pamplet, it’s kind of like a calendar, 3-4 pages. I hope this is helpful Smile

    Kristi

    March 4, 2011 at 11:12 pm
    csmamma
    Participant

    We absolutely love Dear Ginger Plowman! You can also find Wise Words for Mom at her website http://www.gingerplowman.com/

    March 5, 2011 at 12:22 am
    LindseyD
    Participant

    Nina,

    I’m sort of late chiming in here, but I wanted to encourage you. It seems we all get stuck in a discipline rut from time to time, and we just need the right tools to dig us out. Whether your children are 3 or 18, I highly recommend Laying Down the Rails. I’m sure you’ve heard of it on here before. I love how it explains so many different habits, and it has a checklist to help you keep track of which one you’re working on and which ones you’ve got down.

    Also, Creative Correction is a great tool. Someone else mentioned it, so I wanted to echo the recommendation. I haven’t heard of the other blogs, books, or sights, but I definitely would check them out.

    Finally, regarding spanking your 12yo…I would feel awkward spanking an almost-teenager too. I am a small person, so I wouldn’t be surprised if my ds passes me in height in the next few years, probably by the time he’s 12. HOWEVER, that wouldn’t stop me from asking my husband to spank him. I remember when I was a child, my mom would send us to our rooms, letting us know that we were going to “get it” whenever Dad got home. The waiting until Dad got home was always the worst part, even worse than getting the spanking. I was so happy to have it over with by the time he got home that I didn’t care anymore! Sitting in my room or doing chores until he got home always gave us good time to really think about what we had done and make us wish we had never done it.

    And, I am of the opinion that if a pre-teen wants to be treated like a teenager, he/she should act like it, otherwise they should expect the same correction/discipline as the other, younger children. That’s just my opinion though. Wink

    I love the idea that mommytofive gave about keeping a checklist! And, never, ever underestimate the power of praying with and for your children constantly. There are just some heart issues that only God can correct.

    Blessings,

    Lindsey

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