OK, I went to the dr yesterday asking for bloodwork (thyroid, hormones). I mentioned serotonin and while she couldn’t do a blood test for that, prescribed Celexa. I had secretly suspected this for awhile, but apparently when it hit, it hit hard. (Remember my post about not sleeping this week?) Anyway, this hit at a really inconvenient time. I couldn’t fulfill my obligations at VBS, dd is having a birthday this week, and I start training for a work from home job. I could use your prayers, especially since the meds may take several weeks to kick in and I’m convinced the enemy is using this to mess with my mind.
My denomination doesn’t talk about strongholds and warfare, so I don’t know much about how to get rid of them. I’ve been doing more praying the last few nights than I’ve done in a long time, and I try not to let my mind get idle. I find myself silently singing the old hymns. I would appreciate your prayers and advice on how to homeschool during all this.
BTW, I can’t tell my mother about this, b/c she would just use this as ammo to put the dc in school. I gave my MIL a condensed version so she could be more specific in her prayers.
I’m sorry you are having problems with this at this time! I have lived with depression (at times so bad that my thoughts are through tar and I physically hurt) and I know it is hard.
Get as many prayers as you can. It does help.
Try to spend some time outdoors… everyday! I remember during my lunch breaks at work, walking a few blocks to a nearby park, and just sitting on the grass to eat my lunch… it made it possible to face the afternoon. (winter was much harder, I would go to work in the dark, and come home in the dark, and hardly see the sun… too cold to eat outside!)
Make yourself a “sensory box” (get dh to help…) – Find at least one thing to appeal to each sense for use when you are really down. Things can overlap, but there should be at least 1 thing for each sense, and there should be at least 5 things. from mine (this was years ago) I had a silky shirt (touch), Hot Chocolate, Cinamon Stick (taste, smell), a CD of music I liked (hearing), Bubble Bath (smell, touch)… I don’t remember what I had for sight – maybe a picture of family or a calming place?
Eat properly! (more likely with a family…. as a single with depression, I’d have things like popcorn for supper…..)
Find someone you can talk to! Counselling might be best, but a good friend who won’t get weighted down can help.
Do minimal school for now… you have a lot going on as it is. I don’t remember the ages of your children, but strive for independence from them, so that school continues when you are down or busy. Reading (either instruction, and a good audiobook (to make it easier on you) or them reading from good books.) Writing (either instruction, copywork, or a written narration – depending on age). Math (if your program requires you – use something like Khan Academy for practice on days you “can’t”) Devotion – go basic. I’d try to add in Nature Study (getting YOU outside), Picture Study (seeing beauty!), and Composer study (just turn on classical music in the background – get something uplifting.) Those 3 “extra” subjects are for YOUR benefit… And that should be that… Your kids will be fine with that for a season.
It helped a great deal with understanding spiritual warfare. That said, I do think depression can have very real biological, medical roots and I would hate for you to feel you’re not an effective prayer warrior if spiritual warfare doesn’t kick it all, but I do think it’s worth hitting it from all angles.
In terms of homeschooling, perhaps go down to the basics right now. Make self-care a priority, and most importantly, make sure you are eating right. As I understand it, when your blood sugar drops, you are left with insulin floating about your system and your body wants to help get rid of this, so it produces adrenaline to do so. Then, if you are like me, you end up anxious, shaky, irritable. So starting the day with a good breakfast, low carb and sufficient protein, is a big help to me in staving off depression and anxiety.
Praying you have a smooth week – take it a day at a time.
I deal with mild depression and these are things that have worked for me:
-Getting outside, like suzukimom said.
-Physical exersize/Eating right. These things have been life-savers for me. My doctor said that she would not even think about prescribing a medication for me until I started being physicaly active and eating healthy.
-Taking care of yourself. For me, this is making sure I take good care of my skin, shave my legs (sounds stupid, I know), getting dressed (not just sweats) on a regular basis.
When I let one of these things slide, it is a vicious cycle for me, and my depression starts to creep back in. I get out of my excersize routine, and I stop eating healthy. Then, I start feeling bad about myself, so I stop taking care of my body the way I should. I already feel like I look bad, so I don’t want to start working out, etc. And it just goes one for me.
My husband is one of my biggest supports in this. When he sees me starting a downward spiral, he’s the one to make me go back to the gym, or whatever it is I need to do to help me get out of the cycle, though some times are much harder than others. Support is vital, whether a counselor, friend, husband, etc. Find the person that can best support you in this.
I agree with everyone above to make sure you are eating right and taking care of yourself–time outside, showers, prayer, scriptures. I have hypoglycemia. Didn’t know for YEARS, had periods off and on of extreme anxiety and panic attacks and didn’t understand what was wrong with me. Finally after seeing a dr, therapist, and chiropractor, found out it was physical. After changing my diet to eating eggs (protein) with green veggie in a.m. and not eat fruit/breads until lunch I didn’t get irritable, anxious, etc anymore! Took a year but felt better each passing day. Eat protein snacks between meals especially between lunch and supper (the time I got jittery and irritable) and EXERCISE!
Exercie and diet fight depression. Yes, not letting your mind get idle WILL help! Keep the Lord on your mind constantly. Memorize scripture and recite in your mind, sing hymns, pray, and pray more!
The book The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life helped me tremendously get through the panic attack stage–lasted MONTHS before I got help. Draw near to God! You can read the book online here: http://www.ccel.org/s/smith_hw/secret/secret02.htm
Even when I felt there was no happiness inside, I knew the LORD would see me back to good health and He was faithful! It’s hard to see yourself feeling joy again when you are in the midst of the depression, but you WILL feel better! I felt so sad everyday and anxious and couldn’t fight it off. Had to pray my way through the day, constantly. And I JOURNALED my thoughts. That helps a lot. I couldn’t sleep at night, so played peaceful music to relax. http://www.oldchristianradio.com I sang hymns as you are doing. I didn’t want to go anywhere because I felt I was on the verge of a panic attack no matter where I went even at home. Then I got depressed because of the anxious feeling that wouldn’t go away. I truly believe what we put in our body affects our endocrine glands.
I’m not sure what drug you are taking, but if you find out you have hypoglycemia you can get well without meds. I would find a holistic dr like a chiropractor who specializes in endocrinology. I only had to take supplements for a month or two and change diet/exercise. Many women have this condition but it goes undiagnosed! I had been suffering from this since age 15 and finally got help at age 37! I’ve been feeling GREAT for past 3 years, PRAISE GOD. I still thank God for freeing me from it. It’s so lonely to experience this and no one knows how you feel. But Jesus does.