Dawling over clean-up

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  • May 14, 2016 at 7:04 pm
    Leslie
    Participant

    I have watched the Laying Down the Rails DVD and have read the section on dawdling in the LDTR book, but I would like some specific feed back on how to handle this situation. We are currently working on the attention of habit, we have been for the past few weeks, but this seems to cross multiple habits (attention, obedience, orderliness). For reference I have a 5.5, 3.5 and 2 year old (plus twin babies)

    We have a playroom and we keep out a few books and a bunch of lego duplo blocks and tracks and a barn with some toy animals. That is all they have in that room and those items (aside from books) have to stay in that room. We used to have many more types of toys, but it just got really crazy really fast so we reduced it to this. They play well with these, and they usually build large creative setups with the duplos and animals. I have tried reducing the number of duplos they have, and we did weed out some, but if I only keep half out they start asking for specific pieces. I am trying to find a balance between allowing creativity and encouraging good habits.

    When it comes to clean up time…oh do they dawdle. They say “it is too much, I need help, she/he is not helping enough, I’m tired”. I am mostly talking about the 5 and 3 year old here, surprisingly, the 2 year old is good at helping when either my husband or I are in there, but I worried he is going to pick up on this naughty habit soon. I have tried:

    Standing in the room and constantly reminding (I know this does not work), or standing in the room and saying nothing

    Helping them (they just let my husband and I do the work, and I start into that habit of reminding them to get to work)

    Making a game of it (this only works for a bit, and to be honest, I’m not always able to be creative enough to come up with ideas, some days, I just need them to PICK IT UP, it feels like coddling rather than encouraging good habits )

    ——

    So do I need to physically move their arms and make them pick everything up (I know this will cause upsetness, but maybe only for a short while?)

    I also considered setting a timer for 20 minutes and saying “Show me what you can pick up in this time, and those are the toys you can keep, because we can only keep those items which you are able to be responsible for” (the ones that make it in the basket) – but if I do this, do I really get rid of those items, or keep them up until they are “more mature (i.e. faster)”

    It feels harsh, but then allowing this bad habit seems harsh in a way too….and then I start thinking about Little House on the Prairie (always I think about this when I desire simplicity) and how they had so very very few toys and were perfectly happy. I feel like my children have VERY FEW toys in comparison to friends houses we’ve gone to, and yet it is still a struggle.

    Thank you!

    May 15, 2016 at 5:54 am
    Tristan
    Participant

    I laughed a bit reading this because Legos and Duplos have been such a mess maker in my home but are so well loved!  There are lots of ways to try managing this so I’ll try to share a couple.

    1. Put out a large sheet before playing.  They can only have the duplos on the sheet.  This makes cleanup much faster because you come in and gather up the sheet and dump the majority of the duplos into their tub, then the kids just pick up the ones that escaped the sheet.

    2. Give each child a mixing bowl for cleanup time.  They each must fill the bowl a certain number of times when picking up.  This makes the work division a bit more even.  But doesn’t help with making it much faster, though it tends to be a bit faster because they can carry it to all the corners of the room to gather toys.

    3. Divide your duplo collection into two or more Rubbermaid tubs with lids.  Only get out 1 each time.  When they ask for specific pieces just let them know those are put away and they’ll have to find a different way to build.  (We have done this sometimes.  Our Duplo collection is ginormous.  We were given a large bin and have collected more over the last 15 years with 9 kids.  We have one bin that is 4 feet long by 2 feet tall by 2 feet deep, plus a second and third bin about 3 feet long.  Both packed to the gills.)

    May 15, 2016 at 1:53 pm
    caedmyn
    Participant

    I’ve found it really helpful with my little boys (3,5, and 7 yo) to tell them specifically what items to pick up. Maybe “pick up the room” seems more overwhelming to them than saying, “3yo pick up all the books, 5 yo pick up all the Duplos, and 7 yo pick up all the cars and trucks”. They tend to pick up much more quickly the 2nd way.

    We do use one specific game at times also. I put an up-tempo song on loudly and challenge them to pick up the room before the song ends. This almost always works really well–they like competition. Usually they’re done or almost done by the time the song ends.

    I think at those ages they will need you to stay in the room while they pick up. You might find it goes much faster overall if you assign yourself one category of toys to pick up, and tell them you will help them with theirs once you are done if they work diligently/pick up quickly in the meantime.

    And finally, if they’re really dawdling, occasionally I’ve told a child to stand in the corner until he’s ready to pick up quickly. I speed up the process for one particular child by having him stand on his toes or keep his arms in the air as extra motivation to decide he’s ready to pick up…otherwise he’s quite capable of deciding he’d rather stand in the corner for an hour or more instead of doing whatever he’s supposed to do.

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