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Dawdling and more dawdling
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I am so frustrated that I don’t know what to do. My middle child dawdles and dawdles. Mostly with math. We set the time for 15 minutes and he does maybe 3 problems (8+2=, 9+1= and 8+8=). He totally understands the work. He gets right answers and he really likes it when I sit and do it with him.
He is hands on and we use MUS, so he is building and writing. If the 15 minutes is up, I will have him do his writing or we will do another subject. When done with that I tell him to finish his math, another 15 minutes and a few more problems. He is drawing on his paper, talking to his brother, looking out the window. I have explained that he is the one that it making this last so much longer than it needs to be. It is getting to the point that we are running out of subjects to move on to (and it interrupts my flow with schooling two children).
Today, I crossed out half the problems so he would have fewer to do and the same issues. What else can I do besides the short lessons and them moving on to something else after the allotted time?
Thanks for your help.
Jessica
I had just read something about this on the Robinson’s curriculum website. It said to leave them in a room with their homework. It will teach them self reliance and they will end up spending less time when they realize it is taking up all of their time. (A learning lesson some children need. Some need more time than others) He sad,” his son spent most of the day in there. He just left him with all of his work. He didnit even help him.” He said, “He figured it out on his own. It helped with his self esteem and he learned not to dwaddle.” I have to agree with him. My parents never helped me with my homework. Some things took me longer but I did it all on my own. I read the Math book and the examples. I figured it all out on my own. I knew what I had to do and what needed to get done. I must say I think I was self taught. LOL… So, maybe you could try something like that? This is just a suggestion but maybe he needs time alone in a quiet place with no distractions. 🙂 I am curious if someone else has another idea. I know my sons from time to time dwaddle. Especially the middle child. This year I had planned on letting them do more one on one with their homework.
Blessings! Hope you find a way around this…
When a child does this at my house (choosing to dawdle) they are required to sit in a separate space (a desk about 6 feet from the main table) and they can’t get up until the work is done. If they miss a meal then so be it. My kitchen closes and they will wait until the next scheduled meal time. Then all the work they missed out on has to be done after math, so they’re also missing out on playtime.It usually only takes a time or two before they realize mommy means business.
Now, with that said, I first make absolutely sure that:
– what I am asking a child to do in one sitting is reasonable and at their ability level (not an excessive amount of work or work that is too difficult)
Once you are sure of those two things it is simply the child’s habit of dawdling and their choice to do anything but work. You’ve let them get away with doing math in 5 sessions so why would they want to change? You have to give them reasons (positive or negative) to motivate them to change their habit. Negative motivation can be the not eating until the work is done, not playing until work is done, etc. Positive could be anything that works at your house. I have one child who is motivated to work so they can go do arts and crafts. I have one who is motivated to work so they can go build with Legos. Another knows if she finishes her work at the time it’s to be done she’ll have the rest of the day to herself. I won’t keep adding work. We have a defined amount for the day, and the sooner she’s done the sooner she’s free to explore her own interests.
I agree with the others. I did the making the lessons shorter, etc – and that can work. But when it is an issue like this – where the child is obviously choosing to not do the work… well then they sit until it is done (making sure it is a reasonable amount.) You can choose to do it either during the math lesson time – or you can leave it to the end of the school time so that it is obviously cutting into HIS time.
I did this with my daughter – just left her working on it with everyone else outside playing. She sat for quite a while – then quickly did them. If it was a recurring problem, I might add some sort of extra work they need to do for me (after finishing the math) to make up for the inconvenience to me…
Thank you ladies for your input. I am very black and white and since I am doing Charlotte Mason, I feel I have to do all of it and not ditch what is not working. Your advice really helps. Thank you!!!
Short lessons go hand in hand with best effort and natural consequences. Make sure he knows that he is to give his very best effort for the alloted time. If he does, then he’s done with that subject for the day. If not, then he has to do the work during a time when he would be normally be playing or doing something he enjoys.
Can you get away with a single session for math each day instead of two? It might feel more rewarding to finish well if there isn’t more to come that day. He can likely get more done in one concentrated session of best effort than two with dawdling anyway.
And don’t forget that little boys need to move around. Schedule some time for physical activity before the most difficult subject.
Also be sure that you are consistent and follow through so he knows what to expect and can count on it.
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