Daughters NOT planning to go to college?

My two daughters who have graduated are not attending college, and I’m happy with that decision for them. Here is a link to a previous discussion on the subject, Anyone else not preparing daughters for college, that might give you some encouragement.

Personally, I don’t have daughters, but I see where you are coming from.  I think that you should certainly teach your daughters what it means to be godly women, but also not rule out the possibility that college might be what God has in mind for them.  I don’t think that everyone is ready for college at 18 — I wasn’t.  I didn’t even really know what I wanted to do with my life then.  My father and high school guidance councellor pushed me into taking Journalism in College. I hated it. I didn’t complete the course, but wound up with a huge debt anyway.

When you look at the statistics of those — male or female–who take University courses in Canada it is amazing how many never work in their field of study — and a 3 or 4 year bachelor of arts is next to meaningless.  You need some sort of post graduate studies to get anywhere. So there is a minimum of 5 years of education at approximately $10,000 a year — probably in loans which need to be paid back even if you don’t work.  College is slightly better.  Most programs are 2-3 years and prepare for an actual career or trade, and the odds of working in the field are a little higher. 

While many jobs require some sort of specialized training, not all do.  And some high level jobs can still be attained by working your way up.  Our nephew started working at a grocery store collecting carts while in his last year of high school.  He worked his way up and is now nearly complete the management training program and only months away from running his own store.  He is only 21.

Not everyone will go to college, not everyone needs to go to college, but everyone should have the option.  Marriage will not be in God’s plan for every woman or every man.  Not every daughter will be content to live out her life in his father’s home if she doesn’t marry.  My sister-in-law has lived in her parent’s home her entire life.  She is 52.  She has worked since she was 14 and plans to retire in 3 years.  She didn’t go to college, but working has been the only real independance she’s ever had.  Still, she and her mother wait on her father hand-and-foot — that is NOT Biblical submission. 

Niether of my own sisters are married either, and they both work, have attended college and are doing well for themselves.  They share an apartment.  Their independance allowed my mother to move several hours away to care for her mother for the last years of her life.  Our mother has remairred and has never moved back. It is important that our daughters are able to take care of themselves — they may not have husbands, and those with fathers now, may not always.   

I think that there are so many educational options now that we need to stop thinking in terms of ‘going’ to college.  It is totally possible to get a degree these days without having to leave home.  There are also online training programs for a variety of professions.  I do think it is important for our daughters to have options in terms of potentially supporting themselves or contributing to a family’s finances, but that does not have to mean participating in on-campus education and all the craziness that can go with that. 

One example is the plan outlined at Milestones Academy for taking advantage of all the exams for credit that are available.  You can learn the material in any way you choose (Charlotte Mason approach anyone?) and then just take the test.

Our province also has a site where you can access the online or distance courses from several institutions across the province and piece together your own degree or certificate program.

MIT has free access to many of their courses online. 

The possibilities are endless, and I  believe they will only increase in the future.

I don’t think by ANY means that everyone–male OR female–should go to college. 

A few things to keep in mind, though—

1.  Life is unpredictable and education in general and skills in specific are very, very useful.  There is no way to know who might need to support 6 kids when she’s 30 . . .even if one isn’t going to college, typing skills or transcription skills or the ability to draw blood or be a medication aide or . . . health care is the field I know–some of these things are very easy to learn as a teen.  I was certified as a nurse’s aide, a transcriptionist, a medication aide, AND a phlebotomist  while I was still in high school and going to school full time and working part time, and almost all the money I’ve ever made came from those skills.

2.  Education is almost NEVER “useless” although it can be a poor return on investment.  I’ve never earned a single dime from my degrees unless you count my teaching assistantships but I don’t regret what I learned at ALL (although I do regret the loans!)

3.  It’s a lot easier to work in skills in high school that  might make it easier to get further education–of ANY kind–later than it would be to go back and start from scratch in ten or fifteen years with few skills or little liberal arts education.  Case in point–I am digitally acquainted with a family with a teen girl who are deliberately NOT teaching her any math more complicated than basic fractions, although she has aptitude and could easily learn, because she “won’t need algebra as a mother.”  I quibble with this to begin with, but then, suppose she is widowed or divorced  at age 30–she’s going to have a MISERABLE time trying to learn enough math for even something as simple as an LPN certification, and she’s going to have to PAY to do it when it would be so easy to do it now. 

4.  Being a college educated woman and being a keeper at home are NOT mutually incompatible–I know DOZENS.    They don’t take your ovaries upon graduation.  LOL  And you don’t have to turn off your brain to be a wife and mother.  The more a woman knows–the larger the room in which she sets her feet–the richer and more rewarding HER life can be and also the lives of her children, especially if she becomes a homeschooling mom!  One can gain tremendous education on one’s own, of course, without ever walking in the walls of a college, but one can also learn a tremendous amount to enrich the lives of all posterity AT a college. 

I would never intentional not prepare my child for post secondary education.  To do so seems to imply putting a limitation on their right to develope as a human being.  We must remember that while we have our own personal vision of who or what our children should be, God’s plan for them may be completely different.  Not every woman will be a wife, and not every wife will be a mother. 

4myboys, I couldn’t agree more – only God knows what He has in store for our children and all we can do is provide them with all the possible tools so that when God’s plan is unveiled they can take full advantage – I decided like my mum before me that my children must decide on their path and we must have them ready for any and all eventualities – and then let them fly. She did that with me, and when my girls are ready to start the next season of their lives we will help them to soar….whether that is a job, college, online college or marriage….or even travel….they as young adults must find their path and our job is to guide them as best we can in readiness for flight into their own lives.

I pray that I am preparing my son and daughter for college should they choose to attend a college. I am not going to push a college education though given how the economy now and who knows what it will be like when they are at that stage in life.If the course of study they wish to pursue requires a college education, then so be it. However, given my past experience with time and money spent on a college education, I am not exactly for that kind of stress for my children.

I attended a community college for 2 years (worked FT during the summer and part-time the rest of the year) and graduated with a degree in paralegal studies. I could NOT find a paralegal job upon graduation and ended up as a mailroom runner for 2 years. I was hired on as a paralegal once but due to the neglience of the person hiring me, I was fired after only a few months. She “assumed” I had more understanding than what my resume represented and I assure you I did not lead her on to get the job. It was all there for her to see.

After that life changing moment, I pursued a medical transcriptionist program at the local vocational school. I graduated with honors in only 10 months. I found a job as an in-house MT within the year and 3 years later I became an at-home transcriptionist raising my family. I just recently “retired” to fully dedicate myself to my children. Basically, my 2-year degree was worthless but my 10-month degree provided a small income for our family for over 10 years.

My husband even has a great job without having a 4-year degree. Most of his has been hands-on experience and self-study.

It all comes down to experience in the field, not some piece of paper. I lost out on paralegal jobs because I did not have experience. They could care less than I spent the last 2 years struggling to gain such an education. They wanted EXPERIENCED paralegals.

It is just ridiculous the way college tuition is becoming for our future generation. No one should graduate from school and be in debt by THOUSANDS of dollars in student loans and the like.

Let us all pray for our children and their futures….