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daughters fighting over friends
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Okay, ladies, I’m desperate! My girls are 10, 8, 6, 4 years old. Today we have friends over ages 10 and 4. My 10 and 8 yo are fighting over the 10yo friend. It’s so bad! My 8 yo gets hurt feelings because the two 10yos want to play at something alone…..or my 8yo doesn’t want to play the particular part that the two 10yos want her to play…..or my 10yo gets her feelings hurt by her 8yo sister and goes off to cry in her room.
My 6yo and 4yo daughters do the same thing with the 4yo friend who’s here! I can’t believe this! Someone is always having her feelings hurt or always wants to play something different than the other two!
I am so sick of this going on that I’m ready to say that we are not having friends over. Incidentally, it’s nearly the same when my daughters are invited to play at other people’s houses. If the 10 yo is invited, the 8yo feels left out and not liked. (I don’t allow my 6yo and 4yo to play over at other people’s houses.)
What do I do??? I feel like an awful mother! It’s sooooo embarrassing!!! I just don’t know where to start! I know we have tremendous work to do in the areas of not complaining (esp. about food and at mealtimes); gratitude (about everything in general). I did purchase Laying Down the Rails and I am looking through it, trying to triage and see where it’s best for us to start.
I’m just totally embarrassed and upset and mad!
Thanks for listening to my rant; and I would definitely appreciate some words of wisdom, especially if any of you have only girls (is it a hormone thing??) or have lots of girls (4 feels like a lot, some days!).
I have the same problem with my 11 & 8 year old daughters and their cousin who is 12. I explain to the 8 year old that she can play with them for a bit but then she has to let them have time alone. I also explain to the 11 yr old that she must let the younger be included for a time and then she will have time to herself with her cousin. This isn’t a perfect solution but it has helped quite a bit. My 8 yr old does have a friend of her own though that we have over occasionally so that she has her “own” friend and the same rules apply. My sister, this summer, has had my daughters over separately to avoid the conflict when they go to her house. Maybe you could suggest that?
hth!
No great advice here but I have 4 girls close to the same ages & have the same issue but it’s fighting over time with each other not friends. Maybe because they are 2 sets of sisters who are step-sisters to the others so it’s a little more like having cousins over. I have the general rule that they don’t exclude anyone but can’t say it’s super successful so far (who knows over time though)…frequently get mad at me for enforcing lol. So…I’m eager to hear responses too!
So I’m not alone in this! Thanks for sharing my boat! *L*
In our situation, my 10yo daughter’s closest friend is really close geographically, too. Just 2 miles. And homeschooled, too. They don’t get together too often (no more than about 1 per month) just because both of our families are busy and we dont’ attend the same church. We do attend the same homeschool group.
Here’s hoping for some more voice chiming in! (And maybe some older moms who’ve been in this boat?)
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