Daddy Time

Tagged: , ,

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • February 8, 2011 at 12:43 am
    LindseyD
    Participant

    My husband recently switched jobs, and he’s now home every week evening. This is the first time in four years that he isn’t working at least 3 evenings a week, in addition to his normal, 8-5 career. Of course, it has been wonderful to have him home like a normal hubby and daddy is home.

    Ds (7) is being very demanding of Daddy’s time, however. Instead of asking, “Daddy, would you play cars with me?”, he is being bossy, “Daddy, let’s go play cars. Come on, Daddy!” Just a few minutes ago, my husband started to walk into the kitchen while I washed dishes. Ds said, “No, Daddy! Don’t go in the kitchen. Come play basketball!” I know ds isn’t trying to be disrespectful; he’s just so excited that Daddy is home so much. We’re all excited. It’s just that I feel like this is creating a habit that Daddy’s time is going to be completely devoted to playing with kids from the moment he walks in the door until the minute they go to bed. The children are expecting this from him. 

    He’s not the one complaining, though. It’s me. I want time with my hubby too. I want us to have family time, but all the kids want is to play with Dad while I do whatever. Tonight, they played basketball while I cleaned the kitchen. Right now, dd is in the bathtub, I am on the computer, and dh and ds are playing cars.

    I’m really not trying to complain about having a husband who adores playing with his children. I just don’t want the newness of him being home every night to to turn into his getting worn out from working all day and playing all evening. And I want some (not all) of our evenings to be spent with us having family time as well as each of us feeling free to individually work on something enjoyable (ie. sewing, reading, etc.).

    Any suggestions without making the children feel like we’re trying to limit their Daddy time?

    Blessings,

    Lindsey

    February 8, 2011 at 2:09 am
    amyjane
    Participant

    Lindsey I can relate in the wanting to spend time with hubby too… I have a couple of thoughts from our experience. 

    1. Your son is at the age that he wants to relate with dad.  And your daughter gets time with you all day but your son needs man time.  My boys need time with their dad – one on one relating men to men.  Their tanks need to be filled in a way I can’t. 

    2. One of the things that a dear friend encouraged me regarding how my husband spends his time at home – is not to micromanage.  Make my thoughts for the needs of the family known to my husband and let him lead.  This was hard for me to let go of but since I have it is nice.

    3. Maybe set one or two family nights a week and make them fun and something to look forward to.  But then let your husband decide.  One thing good that we have done at times it to take 15 mins of couch time – just me and hubby.  This helps kids know that mom is dad first priority – this happens in seasons but especially when the boys demand his time.  So you get undivided attention first – and your son learns that he is part of the family.

    4. Let your husband decide when he is tired and let him protect his time – back to micro managing.  It is hard for me lindsey because I am use to planning the flow of the day.  But it has helped my husband think for his evenings and not just show up.

    I hope these help and encourage and not defeat.

    Oh and this was a hard thing for me but I am learning to step aside and enjoy some me time while dad is entertainer.  Enjoy your few minutes on the computer.

    Amy

    February 8, 2011 at 7:40 pm
    Misty
    Participant

    I wanted to add we have alone nights around here on Mondays.  This is the night where the kids get a blanket and a small (quiet) item and play on it while M&D have time to talk, figure things out or just sit and watch something uninterupted.  This is nice for both of us.

    Also, on Wed. we have 1-on-1 night.  What that is is just that.  Every week one child gets to be with mom & dad for 1 hour while there siblings must play in there rooms quietly.  Everyone gets a turn.  So right now our rotation takes 6 weeks for the child to come back around.  But they can’t wait.  they get to pick what we do on that night (with in reason or we’d be off to DQ every week).

    Then for the other nights we have assigned nights that way M&D are both there with them and we’re doing things as a family.  If dad is really tired we might switch something but for the most part we are on coarse.

    Just some thoughts.  My kids go crazy when dad comes in and it’s to much for him.  So this way it’s a bit less hetic. MaybeUndecided

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
  • The topic ‘Daddy Time’ is closed to new replies.