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Cushed and confused
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I just returned from having my 9 year old son evaluated by a Speech Therapist. After an excruciating 2 hour eval ( I call it a mini standardized test), she told me that my son does not have a speech problem, instead he has learning problem. She then proceeded to tell me that he needs to be placed in public school where he will get the resources needed to help him with his learning problem.
That is not something I am considering at the moment. I know God has called me to homeschool! And I shall continue regardless of a stumbling block. Can anyone please help me know what my next step should be? This is my 4th child and I have not had any issues like this before. My heart is breaking for him right now because he thinks he is a “baby” after struggling thru that horrible evaluation. He didn’t understand a lot of it. The structure of the evaluation goes against everything we do Charlotte Mason style.
Please help me anyway you can!! Blessing to everyone!!
Tameka
Hi Tameka,
I absolutely agree with you that a learning difference does not mean that he must go to public school. As a matter of fact you are more able to accommodate him at home than the one size box of public education. Did the therapist have an idea as to what the learning difference is specifically? If not, I would seek that out. I know its hard to think of more tests, but then you’d have a better idea of what’s going on and how to help him. I would also probably go to a different person, for sure. There are many resources to help you teach him how he learns best. You’ll find many folks on this board and other groups as well that are homeschooling their kids with different needs – from autism to dyslexia. It can be done. You may have to do some things a bit differently than CM dictates. For example, dyslexia requires much more explicit instruction than many of the typical reading programs provide. But while working on that, a dyslexic student can still enjoy good books through you reading aloud or audio books and reap all the wonderful benefits of that style of learning. So be encouraged. ONE person’s opinion does not need to change your course at all. Glean what is useful from the evaluation and move on. Learn all you can about his learning difference so you can accommodate appropriately. As you research, you’ll find that along with the weaknesses comes some pretty amazing strengths, as well. Celebrate those. Look at people like Ben Foss (dyslexia) and Temple Grandin (autism). They have made amazing contributions to the world, as have many other folks with learning challenges.
OK, I’m starting to ramble. I hope you feel encouraged. 🙂
Melissa in TX
Ramble on, Melissa, ramble on! I agree with you. The whole school thing is just her opinion. It’s what she’s been led to believe is best, not what you, Tameka, believe is best for your son.
First, I would tell your son, good news! You don’t seem to have a problem with your speech. (Although, her test results for him could possibly be flawed.) I would call her, politely thank her for her input, and then ask her what sort of learning difference she suspects and/or what you might do to discover just what you are dealing with. If she insists that putting him in public school should be the next step, simply tell her that you want to approach this through further discovery (likely to be testing) before you make any further decisions regarding your son’s schooling.
If she can’t (or won’t) help you figure out the next step, find someone else (maybe an educational consultant?) who will give you some options for finding out exactly what your son needs. True, some homeschooling families receive services such as occupational therapy or speech therapy through their local public school district (often they are required to provide these services to home educated students), but there are other options for assistance by private individuals or programs you can implement at home.
I would find out as much as possible regarding what your son’s specific needs are, then you can come back here and ask if anyone has dealt with such things. Chances are someone here has had experience with his specific learning differences and can make some suggestions.
Be encouraged! The fact that you are taking charge of your son’s education like this shows what a wonderful mother you are!
Sue
“ONE person’s opinion does not need to change your course at all. Glean what is useful from the evaluation and move on. Learn all you can about his learning difference so you can accommodate appropriately.”
— Well said, Melissa from TX!A number of years ago, I spent hours upon hours with many different speech therapists for my second son. (he is doing great now) Maybe the speech area of expertise is different where you live, but from my experience, the person doing the job of speech therapist is NOT qualified to be making the call about any learning problem your son has. Could she make a guess (and call it a guess)? Yes, certainly. But to be honest, I think your test person was speaking totally out of line. She should have done nothing except tell you that she does not see indication of specific areas that will helped by speech therapy, and that you might be well advised to seek further consultation from your family DOCTOR, for referral to other areas of specialty.
Sending a hug – I’ve been through these tests with my son and they are stressful. My bet is that the struggle for your son was much more about his lack of familiarity with the testing method (and his own stress over the taking the test to begin with…it’s not a regular event for him) than learning. Of course, go and seek advice elsewhere, but don’t feel assured that your son has a learning problem simply because of these comments from one speech therapist. She does not specialize in learning problems and in fact has pretty limited tools in her own toolbox by which to assess children compared to methods that will be used by others in the medical/therapy field.
Blessings to you, Angie
I’m from a small town and so I know things are different here, but in my experience people usually want to help others and people usually like to talk about what they know. So, ask your local homeschooling group if they know someone in the area that is qualified to assess your child for a specific learning disability, or call the local school district and ask who they use. I would then call that person and explain your situation and that you are on a research mission to learn more about the process of diagnosing a learning disability and all the options that you have. Ask them if you could take them to lunch to pick their brains. Like I said, most people would not pass up a chance to talk about their specialty nor a free meal to boot. You then can ask the things you would like to know.
You absolutely do not have to enroll your child in public school, this is your only option if you can not afford personally to have your child tested/evaluated etc.
I have not had my children tested simply because a diagnoses allows for free care through public school, not much help since I homeschool. I personally picked a few brains and did some research on my observations and came to my own conclusions….I’m not diagnosing my own child, but if I see that my son seems to be dyslexic, then I research what helps dyslexics and then I try out those methods with my son and see if we get positive results. So far, we are trucking right along….is all his struggles gone? of curse not, but we are seeing progress. Once that progress or forward movement through lessons stop, then I will research further etc. I believe that because I can tailor each lesson to his needs and spend as much time as we need to together that his progress is happening much more quickly than it ever would be in public due to the number of children that they have to tutor individually.
Do I tell my son I believe he has a learning disability? No, I do not think it will help him, but I have told him that he struggles with the same things that many dyslexic people do and so we will try this for a while and see if things get easier. He is a kid who is struggling and so he has always been open to trying anything I ask. Some have helped…others have not and so as he grows things change and we work through it, but that is what I want him to learn is that no matter the challenge or label…. we are in charge of how we react to it and how we handle it since we are the ones who will live with the end results. Doctors can say all day long he needs therapy and you can follow their advice, but after 2, 3, 5, years of therapy and no change….there is no recourse against them for the wrong recommendation. You have to live with your decision even if it is the decision to listen to someone else. This is why I have chosen not to simply enroll my child into the public school and have them figure out why he is struggling. I believe I am more motivated than they to be an advocate for my child and so what I was missing was knowledge, expertise, and options. Educate yourself and then you can help your child with this issue. It isn’t easy, but when you see them progress and start to get the things that used to be so hard for them it is very rewarding for both you and your child. God Bless and I hope this helps you.
If you feel that you need a specific label, then pursue further testing.
Having been in the special needs homeschooling realm for quite a few years, I would encourage you that you do not have to pursue more testing right now. No criticism if you do though.
Recently I started using materials from Child1st.com. The author has a blog that has been very helpful to me. She is a former public school special needs teacher. She studied her students intently and learned what helped each one. She mentioned that whatever the label, certain techniques such as multi sensory teaching helped all. Her materials are especially good for right brain dominant learners.
I read a book called “The Right Side of Normal” about right brain dominance. This homeschool mom uses delight directed learning, which is proving very helpful for my dd. Her book helped me to see my children’s uniqueness and let them work from their strengths.
I began this year teaching my kindergartener with a CM emphasis, but with a traditional schedule and teacher led approach. After six weeks, she was saying that she didn’t care and that she was dumb. I was shocked and saddened, so I switched approaches and studied right brain dominance and delight directed learning. She is doing much better, and I am continuing to learn what works for her. I just posted a reply to a mom about her 5-year-old that lists some specifics of what my dd is doing for school. She does other subjects that I didn’t list.
I would tell your son that he learns differently, and that doesn’t mean that he is babyish, etc. Tell him that public schools teach a certain way, and if you are different, they label you, rather than changing their teaching methods. He can succeed and you will find ways together to create success. Some things will always be difficult, but he has giftings too. Tell him about Einstein, Edison, and others who were labeled disabled in school, yet were merely different types of learners that the schools didn’t know how to teach.
What an awful experience! But now you are on a path to finding a way to help your child and that’s the best place to focus. I know public schools sometimes offer wonderful, free therapies to homeschoolers too so don’t totally discount that option. In my experience most folks who specialize in helping children with special needs of any kind are pretty good people even if they do work in or with public schools. HSLDA has a good summary to get you started on this path … http://www.hslda.org/strugglinglearner/sn_states.asp For example, here in Louisiana because I’m registered as a private school I am entitled to special services. Maybe those offered wouldn’t be what you needed but it’s good to check in to. Therapies can be wildly expensive and I’m a cheap skate so I’d always be looking for where I could get things for free.
I am praying for your son’s confidence. I hate that he feels bad about himself. That’s a really tough thing for any kid but I think especially for boys at that age.
-Claire
Everyone had such great responses!! I can’t thank you enough! I am soaking up each piece of advice! Also, since we have seen the speech therapist one week ago, his stuttering has gotten much worse. It is my belief that she made the situation worse, however, I am looking toward the positive and believing that clarification will come from it. I am loving him through this and allowing him to be himself and not making him feel worse!
Merry Christmas!!
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