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Curve ball thrown into my school plans…
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Hello. I don’t post a lot on this forum, but I gain so much from reading daily posts here. SCM is the only forum I use for homeschool advice and encouragement because of the God honoring ladies here. Well I could use some prayers / advice right about now. I homeschool four boys ages 13, 12, 8, and 3. I have everything planned and ready to go but life has thrown me a curveball. We were suppose to start back on August 13, but on August 12 I became very sick and had to have my gall bladder removed. When they did the surgery, they found that I had an umbilical hernia blocking the entry point, so they had to repair that too. After the surgery I had to have a stent put in to catch the loose stones. After two weeks of healing and a lot of pain, my body told me something was wrong. I had to go back to the hospital. They found that the stent had dislodged and was 2/3 in my stomach and 1/3 in my binary duct. I had to have surgery again to remove it. Now it is three weeks past our original start date and I really want to start back to school September 4th, however I just don’t know if I have the energy to do it. My body is just simply drained. I am usually a get-up and go person but, I can’t even go to the grocery store without feeling like I have to take a nap. How am I suppose to teach three boys and chase my three year old? My younger boys keep asking when school is going to start because they are so excited. Has anyone else felt drained like this after surgery?
Tammy
No answers here as I haven’t had major surgery recently, but I’m praying for you and your family. I hope you recover quickly and your boys are helping you out in the mean time!
~Kate
So sorry for all you’ve been through. I haven’t been through all that so no advice from experience. But I would try not to worry about school and just use teachable moments for the time being. I’ve heard wonderful stories of how kids learn compassion and service (true life lessons even more important than math:) by helping a sick mom. I’d probably just give them their independent work until you feel up to more, and plan on going into the summer a bit, if any catch-up is needed. Hope you feel better soon! Blessings, Gina
I’m sorry you’re going through this. If it were me I’d probably move back my official start date until October and school through June. In the meantime, I’d have them still do math each day if possible. I’d probably do a family read-aloud, if I was up to it. And then I’d tell them that I realize they’re excited, but sometimes life throws unexpected challenges at you that must be worked through and that you need their extra love, care, and patience right now. And that includes helping with little siblings so mom can get her rest everyday.
It’s so important that you NOT push yourself. That you rest. A daily nap. Let your body heal!
Hope you regain your strength and energy back soon. (It’ll be sooner if you get your rest!)
Don’t push yourself!
That said – there may be a lot your boys can do independently. You could do a quick check on the ideas on http://www.URtheMom.com about raising self-learners. She started doing that when she was sick for a while (maybe just after having a baby – I don’t remember right now…) Also, a lot can be done focusing on the basics. The Robinson Curriculum (note I’m not saying buy it!!!) – has the students do the 3R’s (so to speak.) They Read good books, Write on a topic of their choice, and do Math each day. He created it when his wife died, so he could homeschool their kids while working.
So if you do want them doing school – I’d pick a few good books for them to read on their own… have them do math – khanacademy.org is independent if your current math program isn’t – and the older ones can write their narrations, and the 8 year old can pick some copywork from his good book. Everything else for now can be life skills – that is, how to run a household. They can learn that by doing (ie, doing the cleaning/cooking/watching the toddler/etc so you don’t have to.) The 3R’s I mentioned could be easily done in an hour or two… and the taking care of the house can fill the rest of the day…
But above all – TAKE IT EASY ON YOURSELF.
I would say take it slow VERY slow. Also, your 3 older ones should be able to do a lot on there own under the issues of the moment. Also, your 13 yr old should be able to help with the 3 yr old on a daily basis while you “sit” with a younger one and do some work same with the 12 yr old. Do things at night with your husband home while he could help the older ones or take the younger ones. Use what you have and don’t worry about all the little things. Your health is the most imporant thing to consider right now.
Take it day by day and let God instruct you when, as right now is not his plan and we need to trust Him and what he wants for our lives (so easier said than done).
Thank you everyone. I appreciate your advice, prayers and well wishes. I know deep down inside that it is “ok” to change the plans. I guess you could say that I am a planner/organizer. For me, it is very difficult to deviate so far from the plans. I think this may be one of those humbling moments that God will use to show me that He is ultimately in control and bigger than any schedule or routine.
Tammy
Wow, sorry for all the pain you have gone through. I’m wondering if you couldn’t do some school lying down on your bed. I personally find it easier to do school than all the other Mom details and find it easier to keep them occupied during school than during noschool time. I would lay on the bed and have them bring you things. At the age of your sons they could do the cooking, cleaning and laundry along with some help from Dad.
They can bring you a notebook and you can make lists for them. Grocery lists for them to shop with Dad, and all the other tasks. I would hand the other things over to them and just lay on the bed and do school.
That is alot you have been through. From my experience, it always takes longer to recover from surgery than you think. You may be home, but it takes a good while to be back to “normal”. I agree with everyone…give yourself lots of time to heal. School will still be there when you are ready. Praying for a quick recovery.
I understand the exhaustion. I too get that. I had severe problems that kept me almost totally bed ridden for over a year. I am glad I wasn’t homeschooling at the time but I still get that exhausted feeling come over me. I have to lay down still sometimes. It has been years later but I still feel that way. My kids know when I get like that they have things they have to do. It is a little more laid back when I feel (yucky). I just look at it as, they are ok. They aren’t doing anything that will be harmful to them. They are old enough that I can ask them to do something and I know they will do it. So, I just give them things little by little when I feel that way. If I am in and out of sleep then they know just to be quiet and do their work, or chores, or watch a movie together if they are all done. 🙂
I sure hope you feel better You have been through alot. I know that even though you want to do more take the above advice and don’t do it. I too know not to push myself. You won’t be doing anyone any good especiallly yourself. There is a reason you are feeling exhausted. G-d says, “He only gives you what you can handle.” He also says,” He will give you rest” so G-d must be giving you this rest for a reason. Just enjoy it as you grow in him. Even though you are exhausted it is his will that you rest.
Have a better day! Know I am thinking and praying for you!
Blessings!
I had gallbladder surgery some ten years ago and at the time I had a 3,2 and 1 yr old. It took me about 2 months before I regained my strength and to this day my body is just not the same without my gallbladder. If I have a very fatty meal , like hamburgers or cheesy anything, it takes me a day or two to recover. I know what you are going through…I found that if I took it easy I can recover better if not faster!
In the past 5 years I have had 4 babies,while trying to homeschool my 4 older children. I also lost my mom and my sister to tragic deaths during this time. There are just those times in life when we have to admit we can’t do everything we wish or want to do and we have to cut ourselves some slack.
I would suggest teaming your kids up for classes/subjects. Maybe an older one can teach a younger one math. They could learn science together and narrate for each other their reading/spelling etc. Maybe you need to just “unschool” for a while. In the past I have pick one subject to do with my kids(the one they needed the most help with) and they got to choose 3 other topics of interest and I just allowed them to self-teach and show me their progress along the way. Maybe this is a season in your life that God is saying your boys need to do more for themselves and rely less on you. Plus I bet they are learning a lot about health, human anatomy and caring for a illness through this process. I bet they are learning all kinds of things right now that you are not even aware of!
Don’t lose heart, your body will recover and you will get back to your old self eventually. For now listen to your body and don’t push it!
Many prayers coming your way 🙂
Tammy,
These ladies have given you a lot of great ideas. I just wanted to let you know I’m praying for you.
-Tanya
I finally got a chance to go back and read everyone’s encouraging words and I wanted to say Thank you. I wish that I could tell everyone that things are looking up, but unfortunately I have experienced another set back. I started having increased pain at one of the four entry points of surgery and that is when I noticed that a part of the “mesh” used in the hernia surgery has somehow protruded through the incision. I now have to return to the surgeon so he can determine if he will need to go in and fix it. I feel like I take two steps forward, only to be knocked back five. As far as schooling, we did begin on Sept. 4 with a lighter schedule. It actually felt really good to get back into somewhat of a routine. The boys and I just took our time and really had a great week. The boys have also stepped up around the house and have taken over all of my daily chores that require any lifting, pushing, pulling, bending, etc. I am so proud of them. They are such a blessing.
Tammy
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