I don’t usually post but I’m to the point of frustration and am seeking some guidance. My grand daughter is 7. And we cannot seem to get through a day without tears. When asked her response is “I don’t know why I’m crying.” And it’s not because the work is to difficult. She cries with copywork. She cries with reading. She cries with math. She cries with phonics. And the frustrating part is that after a few minutes she realizes how silly it was to be crying and starts giggling because of how easy the task was. But the tears can start again at any time! She even cries if she’s asking for clarification on instructions.
I’ve tried time outs, a short quiet time in bed, extra work added on at the end of the day, praying and finding scripture to build her confidence. I am fighting yelling at her because that DEFINITELY won’t help the situation. And yelling doesn’t solve anything but makes a person feel small and stupid so I fight to not go down that path but my patience is tested every day!
Any suggestions on how to handle this when it happens again. Maybe another way to ask the question of why she’s crying that would get her thinking a bit more as to the reason why so that I can help her! I am at my wits end. I’ve raised 4 children and never had this issue before!
I haven’t dealt with this before, but maybe if you can encourage her by talking about a special thing the two of you can do if she can make it through a day without tears – making cookies, a trip to the library, a movie, etc.
Just a suggestion off the top of my head. That must be difficult to deal with every day!
I would talk to her about the crying before starting school and outline a plan to help her learn to do her school without crying. My plan would go something like this:
“Sweetie, it makes the day so much harder when you cry over things in school, so today if you start to feel like crying I want you to hold up your hand and let me know, and we will try some things to help you not cry before we move on with the work. Some things we can do to help you not cry are deep breathing, asking for a hug, or taking a quick jumping jack break.” (these are things that would help my almost 7yo girl, change these to whatever you think might help/distract your daughter)
Then I would ask her which idea she would like to try first and I would tell her I would help her with it. As we started school I would watch her carefully and as soon as I saw the tears brewing I would raise my own hand and ask her if she needed to raise hers. Then I would proceed with the hug or whatever. My goal would be to teach her 1) to recognize those feeling before the actual crying starts and 2) teach her ways to manage her emotions so they don’t over-run her daily activities.
Thanks curlywhirly! I tried the exercise distraction today which worked for a time. I really like the raising you hand idea! I’ll have to give it a try next week (we’re helping friends pack their house up/garage sale tomorrow and Friday). I’ll let you know how it goes!
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