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Creating an atmosphere
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How does this look in your homes? What’s your learning atmosphere like? I’m sure I am missing it because nothing but video games or tablet or teen music is ever learned or wanted here it seems. I have a 12,8,3,9mth. I can’t seem it inspire their learning or wanting to do anything school anymore since my eldest 12 came home 1 yr ago from p.s. they are learning cause they remember but I’m always trying to get them to do anything at all, fussing, yelling ,coaxing,waiting and pleading. I need help here to understand what I’ve done wrong. If I tell them to do something during the littles nap time and I go in there with thh little to hell get them to sleep video games are played they say I didn’t know how or what or I couldn’t do.. I have to sit over the older 2 like babies to get them to do work. Drilling every piece out of them. Where have we gone wrong what did I do wrong. All this year so far they did 3 co-ops 3 therpay sessions, and a play group every single week we were so busy no work got done. They always complained they never got to play. But they complain now that I say no co-ops next half the year. So they have more time for school less pushing to get it done now thing, and more time to play and things. They still fuss they want the co-ops. They won’t go to sleep at night trying to stay up past 1030 and don’t get up in the morning. I feel like a failure I can’t manage my own family. 😱😭 The house is a wreck no matter how hard I work the laundry hasn’t been put away in months just piled there. They don’t help with chores just fight me and each other. My hubby looks at me like what’s going on why is this happening and I don’t have all the answers as to what I did wrong he says they need to go to back to p.s. I don’t feel so I just think we’velost Our way and don’t know how to get back. What is the atmosphere in your home how do you keep a flow going? Even with all the little kid distractions and children fights and everything? Thank you!
morgan
Oh Morgan my heart goes out to you. You havent done anything wrong. You could easily be describing my home at times. And I bet many others will admit that it just sometimes look like that. Take a deep breath, its o.k. Kids are just sometimes like that, it is constant work to keep a family on track. My kids are 9, 12, and 15. The 12 and 15 year old fight constantly and they would all rather be on electronics than do school or handicrafts or chores or anything. I think that is pretty normal. I personally would rather read than do those things. I tend to think that so ething I do will suddenly make them love learning and school amd books, but in reality all I can do spread the feast, provide opportunity and pray. I can tell you how we handle electronics etc., maybe something we do can work for you. Here are our general “rules”.
No screens until 3:30 IF chores, school, etc is done. Dont even ask before or you lose some of your time.
1 hour screen time weekday, 2 hours weekends
All electronics live in one family location. If someone has trouble controlling themselves during off time I password protect their device so only I can unlock it for them. Yes this includes my 15 year old.
“Teacher” is off the clock at 3:30 and “mom” doesnt help with schoolwork. If you somehow neglected to get help you will wait till the next day and finish that assignment plus the current days work.
My kids totally fight and complain also, we are workong on that. One thing I am learning is to make sure my attitude is calm and peaceful and “in control” I often start feeling out of control and I think they feed off of that. I have to remember I am in charge.
I have been reading two books recently that are really helping me. Say Goodbye to Whining by Scott Turansky and Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson. We have also started working through habits with the resources on this site. All of these things are changing me, which in turn has been changing them.
You can totally do this Morgan, we all have seasons of chaos. You havent gone wrong. Its all perfectly normal, natural behavior. Living like Christ is supernatural and requires deliberate training and guidance. You CAN change the atmosphere in your home.
Crystal
Ohhhh yes! That’s our house sometimes, too (it used to be our house ALL the time)! My two oldest bicker like their lives depend on it and I have lost my voice a few times from having to scream to be heard all day!
Personally, I’d take away all the devices for a while and do a “detox”. Absolutely NONE for a little while (2 weeks? a month? 2 months? That’s your call. We had to do it for about 2 months over summer when getting to watch a movie kept resulting in lots of whining and arguing when we’d say no to a second movie). Then tell them if they want to use them, like Crystal said, they have to be finished with school and chores, plus do something physical. We have an exercise bike, a mini trampoline, and a little stepper thing that they use. They also do yoga and a Denise Austin 1-mile walk video.
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