I’m wondering if anyone would be willing to share insight/input/experience on this topic. I am very torn on what direction to go.
I have two children three years apart – however our youngest is on the autism spectrum. So, while she is very smart when it comes to very concrete, literal things like numbers and letters, other things like social studies/science etc… are hard for her to grasp, things that aren’t concrete, ideas, abstract etc… She is socially/emotionally delayed roughly 2 years, so again, while she knows her letters & sounds/numbers/life skills etc… on par with a 5 year old, emotionally/socially she is more like a 3 year old.Β Technically she’s still 4, Pre-K, but turns 5 in a few weeks. She was in ABA therapy 4 hours a day until just a few weeks ago. So… we’re at a cross-roads in our homeschool, because she wants to join in, and I’m struggling on knowing how to meet the needs of both.
I am really a mix in how I see our homeschool. So much of Waldorf education appeals to me, and I think Oak Meadow would honestly be a 100% fit for our son. And yet, in no way do I see it working for my daughter – it is far too abstract, relies too heavily on long stories, drawing, writing etc… She struggles with all of those stillΒ – she does not have the attention for stories (she needs a very low word to picture ratio, a few sentences per page), while she enjoys coloring, she does NOT like drawing, and struggles with it (it’s a fine motor struggle, one that can really upset her), and she’s still learning to print her letters.
My son (7 going on 8, grade 2) on the other hand LOVES to draw and read. He is very artistic. He’s a very strong reader, okay with math.Β Honestly, we’ve tried many things over the past few years, finished few of them. We’ve just done a little of this and that, whatever worked at the time of life we were in.Β We’ve been very loose and eclectic, almost unschooling by times. Life has been hectic with our daughter because of being on the spectrum, but she’s also I guess what you could say medically complex. Nothing major, but enough to keep us often running to doctors etc…Β Plus our son has his own issues and is under the care of an OT.
The one thing we’ve been consistent with curriculum wise is Ray’s Arithmetic, we love it! For science we’ve basically just been doing living books and narrations, following his interests. We haven’t really done any social studies other than loose discussions on things that interest him, some loose map work learning continents and oceans, the provinces of our country etc… Music we just listen to music all the time, play when we want, we have recorders etc… Art, we’ve mostly just focused on drawing, painting (we’ve dabbled in wet on wet watercolor) etc… We visit the art gallery etc…
So that’s where I’m coming from. What I need to figure out is where we’re going, lol. I’m just going to list the areas I’m debating on. However, my main concern is:
1. I’m torn on what I should be attempting with my daughter. I do believe in Waldorf philosophy in that just because a child is capable of memorizing math facts and times tables, doesn’t mean it’s emotionally/developmentally appropriate for them to be doing so. From what I’ve seen Charlotte Mason also felt this way? Since our daughter is emotionally/socially delayed, I’m really not sure what’s appropriate. Part of me feels like rather than focusing on academics, we should be spending this time focusing on social skills and emotional development. So, how do I balance that with her desire to “do school” like her big brother?
2. When it comes to choosing a curriculum for her brother, how much should I be taking in our daughter into consideration? Should I even remotely worry about trying to find something that I can include her in (with regards to social studies and science)? Or just focus on his needs?
Have any of you had to let go of your desire to teach your children together, and just accept that they will have to have their own programs each?
I don’t have any experience to help you but know what it is like to need a response of someone who cares. I pray that God leads someone to help you in this area whether from the forum or some place else
I don’t have the magic solution for you, but I will try to briefly tell you a bit about what happened in our own family. Β Although I love the thought of delaying formal education until they are 6, my daughter’s needs really demanded deliberate, formal lessons before that. Β Part of her learning issues, meant lots and lots of repetitions. Β Unfortunately I spent most of her 5 year old school year second guessing myself. Β She doesn’t seem to be making progress, is this the right path?? Β This guilt played out in all parts of our school day. Β So maybe it wasn’t a successful year……
The next year, I had the opportunity to have her evaluated, and they gave me some tools to get her set on the right path. Β Unfortunately there was so much to teach and train that this was an extremely taxing, one on one school year. Β We had no family school.
This year, she is better trained, she is becoming more independent, and much to the delight of all of our family, family time has reappeared. Β I have found time to spend with my younger two children and my oldest child, is very adjusted to our circumstances and thrives with all of the independent time she gets.
If your daughter is emotionally delayed, but academically smart, I would go with your instinct and focus her ‘school’ time on habit training. Β I would address some of her other issues.
Her school time with her big brother can hopefully be trained. Β You can begin to read some books together and do some projects together, but if she quits, let her. Β They can do music, nature study, chores, and exercise together.
If you know, she is going to interrupt school, I would factor that into your plans. Β Train your older son to become independent, where it is feasible. Β You might have to use more audios and you tubes than you want for science and history, but he will still learn. Β I wouldn’t exactly factor her into the choices you make for him, except that if it is 100% you doing the teaching and you won’t have the time, I wouldn’t get it. Β I wouldn’t worry that it is over her head.
If you aren’t sure how you will address your daughter’s need, try to get some guidelines. Β Maybe her ABA school will be able to direct you. Β If you can avoid it, don’t second guess yourself all year.
Enjoy the training and the journey!
Your thoughts are so well put, I think you will figure out a plan.
I had a daily Health, Β Safety, and Manners class. The format varied from books, videos, Β practice play sessions such as “Mother May I” type games. Β Difflearn.com has many good materials. Β Your older son can join the fun.
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