Considering preschool

My oldest daughter was in a mother’s day out program for 2 years when she was 1 and 2.  I had her enrolled for her 3 year old year when she broke her arm and couldn’t go.  About this time we decided to homeschool (when she was older) and I was debating whether to send her to mother’s day out that year at all.  Then my youngest daughter was born premature.  Since RSV season was such an issue for her, she only left the house to go to doctor’s appointment and occasionally the park until she was 7 months old.  As a result, my oldest daughter and I were also very cautious of where we went.  She did not go to Sunday School during this time, definitely no mother’s day out.  Basically, she did not go to big kid germ areas.  It was a difficult season in our lives, but I am so thankful for it in looking back.  My husband was great.  After dinner, he would stay with the baby while I or my daughter and I would go out and do something several nights a week.  We went to the store or to get ice cream.  I went to Bible study at church, etc.  She did get to play with other kids in controlled settings.  She spent a lot more time than usual at grandma’s (who lives in a different city) and was able to play with her cousins.  We had play dates with friends that we knew well and I trusted them not to bring their kids over if they were sick.  But most of the time it was just the three of us.  The second RSV season we had to do something similar.  We weren’t as much of hermits as we were the year before, but still no Sunday School and very cautious of where we went.  We did go to the park on nicer days when they came during the winter season, but germs just can’t last as long outside.    She was 4 during this second RSV season.

I am so glad that she stayed home and that we were hermits.  I had asked God how we could stay home more (before the baby was born).  We had gotten too busy and I didn’t want us to have as much going on.  Well, you need to be careful what you pray for.  God answered, but not in the way I had envisioned.    What He provided was way better.  We learned to be content with each other, to get along with each other better, be content to be at home and play inside and outside there, and the girls learned to truly treasure their friendship even at this young age.  And we didn’t have as many behaviors to deal with as if she had been in mothers day out and picked up on the behaviors of other kids.  (They have enough of their own!)  We have since moved to a different state and have relied on that experience to help us adjust.  Until we can make new friends, we have been content to go places and hang out at home with each other.  Since the school year activities are starting back up, we are starting to get involved again and I have to be very careful not to overschedule us again.  It’s good to be invovled and meet other people, but you need to have room in the schedule to have down time, be with friends, and go to the park.

I know that God will lead you to the decision that is right for your family.  Trust in Him.  It was not right for our family to use mother’s day out.  But I know that He provides for other families by using it.  So regardless of what anyone else’s experience is, you need to make the decision that is right for your family.  (If you decide to not use mother’s day out, with a 17-month old, I think you could probably do only one nap at least once a week.  I always kept the afternoon sacred and tried to have the morning nap at home at least three if not four of the five weekdays.)

Crystal

My friend just sent me this article last weekend that we’ve been discussing on sending your child to preschool:

http://exploringhomeschooling.com/ReasonsWhyNOTtoPutYourChildinPreschool.aspx

For what its worth,
Tonni

While I understand the desire to do more and even the desire for some time w/o the little ones, I don’t think preschool is generally the answer for many of the reasons that have already been stated.

How I learned this lesson…

Our family was blessed to have a live-in nanny for 4 months this year (during the early part of this pregnancy). While this was a huge help in many ways, I am having to re-train my 3 kids ages 2, 5, 8 to their prior levels. The kids are fairly compliant and not rebellious or trouble as some may have to deal with, but I found that my lack of “tomato-staking” (to borrow from the Raising Godly Tomatoes book) during those months did have some negative consequences.

My 2 yo did not consistently obey or with a cheerful heart.  My 5 yo son thought that questioning or complaining was acceptable when he didn’t like the answer he got from me or dad. My 8 yo who is very reliable and responsible, but has a natural lazy streak was letting that show through more than before. We’ve spent the last couple of weeks working on and improving these areas for all of the kids. I can say without a doubt, that having them with me and being able to lovingly correct every behavior has been the best thing for them. 

This little glimpse of having someone else care for them (as a school/preschool teacher would be) showed us that this is not what we want for our kids. The extra hands were helpful and necessary for a season and will surely be needed again at some point in the future, but this time, my nanny (a friend’s homeschooled graduate who adores and loves my kids) will have to be on the exact same page as me and willing to discipline and correct just as I’ve been. Otherwise the help that is undoing much of my hard work training just isn’t worth it.

I wish you and your family all the best in this decision.

Christie