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Computer time
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What is a reasonable amount of time to let a 12 year old be on a device, like a computer etc. ? Or any other ages if you’ve found rules that work well for your family. Ours children are 19, 17, 14,& 12. We need help in this area.
We have kids 12 and under and the rule is after EVERYTHING is completed (school to chores) with good attitude they can each have an hour to play electronics.
That does not go towards family tv or entertainment time (I like movies too 🙂
I think every family will have a different set up, not exact answer, but growing up we had a computer and my siblings and I played games on it, so I don’t have a problem with electronics, but in limited amounts, just not over doing it.
My kids do not have smart phones or social media accounts so it is pretty easy at this time. I know things will change as they get older, but I also want them to learn to practice self control too, and that takes practice.
I have a friend with older kids and their rule is no cell phones/tablet/computer in bedroom and they even set their wireless router to turn off from 10pm-6am and somehow make it so data is not available at that time. They also don’t allow cell phones at bedtime because texting at all hours was happening. At first the oldest was peeved, saying it was the alarm clock so they purchased an alarm clock for a few dollars and argument solved.
I think leading by example is also a big help, and the less I am on electronics the less the kids ask to be. But like I said, mine are younger and I bet most of what I think will be “out the window” with older kids, haha
We allow 30 minutes after school and chores are done. They have a choice between Xbox, computer game or approved YouTube videos. I set a timer. My teenage daughters spend time on (heavily monitored) Instagram during that time. Then there is sometimes 30-45 more minutes in late afternoon, but usually it is a video with siblings. We also have occasional family tv time in the late evening.
I always recommend looking at what activities the technology is being used for. Is it for entertainment or education? Is it for consuming or creating?
Technology is a tool and there is much value in our children knowing how to use tools well. Many careers depend on it.
The time allowed should reflect both how the technology is being used and a child proving over time that he or she can be a master of the technology rather than a slave. This usually looks like increasing privileges and responsibility in small steps as a child demonstrates merit.
Mine also have to have chores and school done first. The 14 and under crowd gets 40 minutes twice a week. That’s for video games. Some of them also like to do other things, like film and edit videos, or go on paint, which they ask my permission for and I grant at my discretion. My high schoolers regulate their own gaming time because they are too busy to be on a schedule usually, and that has worked out well.
But no one has internet access without my permission and any google searches or whatever needs to be on a public computer in well-populated area of the house.
There are exceptions to the schedule sometimes, like when Dad wants to play with them on a Sunday night or something. And none of my kids have their own phone/tablet/whatever.
Our 17yo has a phone and my husband has installed https://www.mobicip.com. He has his phone on him all the time. The 14yo may have his phone at 3pm for texting only (no gaming). He and the 12yo may have screen time for 1.5 hrs 4 nights/week for entertainment. This is assuming that they are caught up on their lessons and have done their chores. One of the nights is a family movie night every other Friday. Our 3 girls (9, 7 and 5) don’t have their own devices. They watch shows on the computer when we let them.
Question for Doug Smith. This is a very talked about and complained about topic in my house. As I’m sure it is in At least half of everyone’s too. However, Doug Smith has given a very different approach to it then my family has ever thought about before. Please Doug if you could explain in further detail what that looks like to you and your family? The part where you said what the time is being used for and proving the child is a master of the technology or it’s slave. Does that mean only if the tech is for learning? Or maybe to be used to learn new skills or?? Thank you!
For me, in my mind the balance is using tech for a purpose as well as entertainment but not “needing it” for entertainment.
I have been teaching my kids how to use Word and Xcel and they sit with me when we do research for a school projects online, but they also need to learn how to self monitor themselves (time wise) for entertainment purposes. Technology is here to stay and is required to even apply for many jobs. I want them to know how to use it for their benefit as well as enjoy it with out being hooked on it. It is a tricky balance, even for me some days 🙂
Raising Real Men has some blog posts about using technology and kids as well as they talk about it in their Raising Real Men book. I heard them at a homeschool conference and they were discussing how teaching proper use of technology is needed and participating with our kids in it because they learn it all so fast and as parents we need to stay current.
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