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Competitive Team Sports
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How do you all feel about letting your children play in competitive team sports? I ask this because my 10yo ds has shown an interest in basketball for some time, was recently noticed for his skill, and asked to be part of a homeschool basketball team. I’d love to hear your thoughts in favor of, or otherwise….as we pray about this.
Thanks ~ Heather
All of our kids play soccer-one (11 yr old) plays on the local travel team and will hopefully in the next few years will move on to a more elite team, our oldest (15) plays rec. soccer, but has really blossomed this year as a goalie and will hopefully be moving up into the travel league and our youngest (10) plays rec as well.
My husband was a soccer player through college and even played on a pre-professional team for awhile. We are a sports oriented family, and love it and the kids love it, but it is not for all kids and families. It can take up a lot of your time-during the fall we are out of the house for soccer 4 out of 7 days of the week. It takes us a lot of planning, but can be done if thte kids find enjoyment in it.
Go for it. We’re a sports family too. Competition has a gotten a bad rap (perhaps deservedly as some people mis-use it), but my kids are involved in very competitive sports organizations – and one non-competitive sports organization – and I see clearly how competition has been wonderful for them. Among many, many lessons learned, self-discipline and respect for athletes are among the top. I’m very grateful for the tough coaches in our lives (one of whom is my husband).
My younger two girls are on a competitive (not homeschool) swim team – they love it. They also play homeschool softball – definitely NOT competitive – they love it also!
Before signing him up, maybe you could attend a game and get a feel for the attitude the parents and players – is there good sportsmanship and lots of encouragement, or just the opposite? If it’s a positive atmosphere, he will likely have a great time. 🙂
I agree that it is not for all families. My husband too played soccer up until we got married. So naturally he loves sports and would like our boys to participate. Although, when we were dating it was hard for me to understand this obsession. And I was upset that he would have games on Sunday’s when we were dating! He also mentioned when he was young there were games on Sunday. So now that we have matured a little–LOL!–we don’t agree with games on Sunday. That said, you need to see if that would bother you. What kind of time you would want to devote. And if your son would want devote a lot of time too.
We have found UPWARDS SPORTS. This is Christian based sports. I am not sure though what age range it goes to. But the organization is great. A church will sponsor the sports. And it will be held at the church. They may have one sport or two. The practices are one time a week. Never on a Wed. And the games are held usually on Saturdays. They don’t keep score. And when you join each person is given a box with a Bible verse chart to earn stars when you memorize the verse for the week. And to earn stars on what character trait you displayed that week during practice and game time. You also have a code to log in to Upwards.com to play games and to listen to a short devotion and playing tips. There is no pressure among team mates or parents!! Each practice the coach gives a mini devotion. And each game at halftime a devotion is given. But you still learn sportsmanship and how to play the game. Along with Biblical principles. I suppose it depends on what you are looking for! And if you already know about Upwards, I apologize for writing so much!! Maybe someone will gleem something from it!
Hope this help! Have fun deciding!
I would second the idea of getting a feel for the attitudes of parents and players on the team before making a decision.
I have to say we are not a sports family, not necssarily because we are against it, but because the size of our family and smallness of our community would have us in opposite directions all the time. Also, there are no homeschool groups, and the regular community sports (at least here) do not promote the values we expect our children to develop.
That said, I grew up in competitive sports as did my husband, and there are certainly good things to be gleaned from it.
Praying for wisdom and guidance as you find the best direction for your particular situation.
We are also a sports family. My oldest (9yrs) has played baseball for 4 yrs. He will be trying for Little League this year. He also is on a wrestling team (this is hils second year). This year was his first year on pee wee football too. My younger ds (almost 8yrs) has played baseball for one year. He is on the wrestling team (this is his second year) and will play football next fall.
Team and individual (wrestling really is an individual sport and very competitive) are great. My boys have both learned so much from them. I agree with the self discipline and how to work together. They have also just had so much fun. My younger ds is not a natural athlete, so he has to really work hard at his sports. My older ds is a natural athlete and excels at any sport he plays. He gives 200% to sports and is very committed.
The downfall of sports is that it does take up a lot of time. We are currently free for two months from sports and I’m so relieved. Although the wrestling coach is trying to get us to start practicing soon (we would normally start in January). We have practices 2-3 times per week depending on the sport and games weekly. So you are very busy!
Oh I will add that we do not participate on games or practices if they are on Sundays. The coaches know that up front. They also know why. That is very important to our family. For us it only is a problem with wrestling. The tournaments are on Sundays. So the boys do not do tournaments. We make the exception for one tournament per season. To get them ready for the states tournament (which is on a Saturday).
We are also one of the ones who has opted out off all sports. Growing up my dh played sports and I danced both through high school. We had children. When they were of age my dh wanted them to be in sports if they wanted. They did for two years. But our family was growing faster than we had planned you might say.
We had to sit down one day and I remember it. We had to decide if sports were going to be apart of our family or not. Either they were or were not. We needed to make this decision and be firm on it. So after much talk we decided that if we could find a sport that was to give all our children something to do at the SAME time at the SAME location we would do those things either with groups or on our own. Or we would do NO sports.
Our children understand and liked this idea for they were becoming angry, upset and much more when we were trying to run chiild X to this and pick up child W from this while trying to eat dinner in the car. Now we sit down ever night and eat dinner as a family. We play soccer in the back yard, tag, runners, we have a basketball hoop, a swingset, nerf footballs, hide and seek and the best part we are all playing together. So that’s were we are at.
But each family needs to do exactly what my dh and I did. That’s what I think is best! Misty
We have two kids, ds almost 7 and dd5. They are allowed to do one sport each. We don’t care if it’s competitive sports or not and have participated in both competitive and non-competitive sports. My dd has been taking ballet since she was three and LOVES it. She goes once per week, and it’s only during the regular school year, so we’re off for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break and summer. My ds played competitive t-ball for the first time this last summer and loved it. We were able to request to be on a private school/homeschool team, though we were actually one of only two homeschool families. Still, it was nice and only lasted 9 weeks during the summer. A couple of summers ago, both kids wanted to try gymnastics. They happened to be in the same class at our community college and went once a week.
I say if you can afford it and if it doesn’t cause too much busyness and running around everywhere, go for it! Sports are a fun and supervised way to get kids involved with others, learn how to play on a team, and develop sportsmanship.
Have fun!
Thanks for all your responses so far!
We know alot of the parents & boys on the team who are from our church. Also, been to a few practices already, the coaches are great, and all seems very encouraging so far. However, the biggest issue we’re facing is that it will cause much more busyness for us and running around everywhere. Though non sport related, we already have several other commitments throughout the week for other dc. If we choose to add the sport, it will be an additional 3 days a week to our existing schedule, leaving us with only the weekends to eat dinner together. I’m afraid it will cause much stress being seperated even more as a family those additional nights of the week. HOWEVER, I do not want to keep ds from something that could be a blessing to him. You know how it is, you truly want whats best for your dc but (like Misty said) need to take into consideration the entire family. Those who have dc involved in sports, how does it affect your family life? I appreciate hearing both sides of this.
Also, the reason I asked you how you feel about competitive sports, is because I came across a few articles by the Maxwells (whom I look up to) which made me wonder in light of scripture.
http://www.titus2.com/corners/11-08-d.htm
http://www.titus2.com/corners/12-08-d.htm
http://www.titus2.com/corners/1-09-d.htm
Not sure if any of you have time to read these but I’d love to discuss if you do. Now mind you, our boys are presently involved in two other competitive related activities. Though academic, they’re still competition non-the-less.
Thanks again for sharing. You are all helping us along in our decision making process – this is a toughy!
I have to say the busyness is partly why we stopped competitive sports in favor of more home based good fun. We had three of our children in sports for a while…. it became too much running around with little family time….
I generally try to avoid controversy, but since they said it first, I will venture out on a limb and say that I agree wholeheartedly with the Maxwells in their scripture based evaluation of the sporting world. I also respect others who do not hold this view.
I am a little surprised to hear that anyone would be allowed to participate as part of a sports team while opting out of Sunday practices/games. I have always assumed that coaches and centers that host non-church related sports would simply say, “If you can’t be here on Sundays, you can’t play.” I would have to think twice about signing up my kids for, let’s say soccer, knowing that they could go to practices but never play the games because they happen to always be on Sundays.
We might encounter a conflict and have to make a decision in the near future about swim team. My daughters have both been approached by an assistant coach at our new rec. center about trying out for the swim team. The problem is, the practices and meets all take place during Wednesday night service and the church youth group they attend! They would have to miss both for several weeks and it would likely impact my ability to attend also….so, we’ll have to see next week when swimming starts!
Scheduling decisions are not always easy, eh?
Sue
I read over those articles, briefly, and in my humble opinion, I feel like Mr. Maxwell is making quite a stretch with some of his scripture references for not wanting kids to take part in team sports. Again, just my opinion and I know that others may disagree.
Heather, you asked how it has impacted our family time. Well, we have had to be very diliberate in scheudling our time. We are lucky that all our kids play the same sport (soccer) and we made sure all three practice the same night so we were all at the fields at the same time. Also, my husband coaches 2 out of 3 of the kids (and coached the other one the previous year) so it’s a fun time for the kids and their Dad. We are very protective of our time together on the weekend, and anything we do then is mainly family oriented, and if kids want to hang out with their friends then they mainly do it at our house (which gets harder as the kids get older-we have a 15 year old son who likes to go out sometimes, too). Also, we are blessed by a Dad who has the ability to be home earlier in the afternoons so that is also a big thing for us. It’s not always easy fitting in family time, but it can be done and I get so much enjoyment watching the kids play and improve their skills.
Meagan
That is why we love Upward! No busyness, no Sundays or Wed, no angry parents etc. But all sportsmanship, Christ-likeness, and encouragement. The kids learn skills and discipline. And we get to see them grow and learn while growing closer to God.
I am not sure if we would choose to play rec sports after they reach the age limit. I remember now that Upwards goes to 6th grade. That will be a while. But I agree that the busyness can take over other parts of family life.
Every body has to make that important decision sometime. I would try to make a list of the pros and cons. I know some families who sports are an obsession. Not saying that will happen to you!
May God give you wisdom for your family.
Reading this made me remember a quote of Sonya’s that I put in my ‘book of mottos’.
“The ultimate goal of raising children is to produce godly adults. All other ambitions should support that goal.”
Sometimes that quote helps me when I’m trying to make a decision about what to give our time to. Does this activity help my children grow in godliness? Does it interfere with the time that we usually set aside for spiritual training?
Our kids do participate in some sports, so I’m not trying to make an argument for or against — this quote just came to mind.
Jean
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