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College for home schooled children
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I agree, Rhonda, with what you said about being prepared for whatever comes along. My two oldest were homeschooled from K through high school and are both in college. While they may end up getting married and starting a family, I truly do hope they finish a bachelor’s degree for that very reason. And right now, they are planning on going on through to graduate studies… but time will tell. 😉 But as for as college goes, it is so doable as a homeschooler. Obviously, you do need to give thought to the process and the path that leads there — you certainy wouldn’t want to start thinking when they are already in high school! lol But there are so many resources and experiences to glean from — homeschooling does not limit one’s options at all! My two applied to a variety of schools and had acceptances and generous scholarship offers from many. No need to fear!
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 –
“…and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and BE DEPENDENT ON NO ONE”.
I think this verse summarizes what we are all trying to convey – that we want our children to be prepared for life and not to be dependent on the world for a livelihood. Some of us are more convinced than others that college will provide that.
We all agree that the goal is for them to equipped for life and able to provide for themselves or their families through their education and skills. If anything, I think what Paul was pointing out here is that we shouldn’t look to the world’s way of doing things for our survival. Our kids should learn skills that can translate into work…we shouldn’t count on the ‘passport’ of a degree to get them work from someone else.
We are degree holding entrepreuners around here – but I can tell you that in a competitive market it is your experience that counts more than your degree. I am not against higher education, but there are too many people (myself included) who used college as a means of extending adolescence and irresponsibility, rather than as a means to a true education.
At some point, as homeschoolers, we may have to accept the fact that we are ‘out of the box’ people! Assuming that college is going to set you up for success is ‘in the box’ thinking.
I think the point is that we take seriously our role to prepare our kids for life…without walking in fear that without a college degree they will be doomed.
If God is at the center of their heart and decisions, then He will provide where He sends, and give them a true education along the way.
Exactly my thinking ServingwithJoy. My husband always says he’d rather hire someone who can think critically and/or has experience than just a degree. He worked his way through college and from data entry clerk to co-owner of his company. His work ethic and experience served him far better than his degree. There are fields where a degree is necessary, of course, but we’ve seen so many people sunk under a huge debt for a degree that is worthless. That’s folly. If my kids need a degree and have a plan for putting it to use, I would encourage them to go to college. If not, then they need a different plan and method of supporting themselves, but I’ve confidence in their ability to do that with or without college.
I’m a good example of someone who decided against my original plans. Through high school, I planned to attend a top University followed by Med school. I was accepted to Vanderbilt with a nearly full scholarship and had the ability to do just that. Life circumstances changed my decision and I sadly moved to FL to make my own way. When here, I met my future husband and more importantly Christ while attending the local junior college (which I felt was beneath me). However, in time my heart was turned toward God and the possibility of a family. I decided that pursuing a degree in medicine and the time and money that would take was folly since I knew if I were ever blessed with children, I’d stay home. My focus was changed off of me and onto God and the bigger picture. I decided a nursing degree was more practical and went to nursing school for a while. My only regret is not completing that degree bc of how useful it would have been on the mission field. I finished with an Associate’s Degree instead. If I had it to do over, I would make that choice differently, but I’ve never regretted not going to med school. Many thought I made a wrong decision about not pursuing my M.D., but I know I chose the right path for me. The path the Lord had for me. I guess my point is that a college degree can be useful, but it isn’t the only way to success.
I completely agree. I can think of only a handful of people that I know who are working in the field that they attended college or university for. A Libral Arts degree gets you nothing but $40,000 plus debt unless you persue granduate studies, which adds even more debt, unless you are fortunate enough to earn scholaships or have wealthy parents. There is no guarantee that the degree will get you what you want. Some of the most successful people never even went to college.
My plan with our boys is to encourage a gap year between graduation and college or University during which they will be expected to work, volunteer and take online courses or interest courses to really figure out what it is they want to do before we start putting out thousands of dollars on an degree program they will never use. My youngest will still be seventeen when he graduates, so that’s a little young to leave home for a college campus, let alone have any real idea of what he wants to do for the rest of his life. My oldest is the type who could easily socialize himself out of school, so I am hoping that changes in the next six years as he takes on more and more responsibility.
Whether or not college is appropriate for a person is an individual thing. It’s a good deal for some, less so for others. As I said, I believe that junior colleges, technical schools, online opportunities and internship/apprenticeships are beginning really to take off, and I believe that this is a GOOD thing. However, just because we are Christians, I see that as NO REASON to decamp from the intellectual world, hang off in our own little cubbies, and stay out of entire fields!!!! Ladies, the world NEEDS—desperately needs—Christian college professors, doctors, lawyers, journalists, business executives, engineers, dentists, psychologists, social workers, judges, field biologists, chemists, statisticians. It might be NICE to hang out in a Christian wonderland and sell Christian products to other Christians on the internet, but we are called to be IN the world. You aren’t giving up your Christianity if you have a degree, are a professional, and work for someone else!!!!!!!!! We are increasingly entering an era where in our country, it’s going to be more and more necessary to use our minds, and for that, those minds must be educated. Some of OUR kids might be those future influential professionals that the world needs. I’m all for out of the box thinking—but I’m not willing to shut my kids OUT of boxes just because college is scary, hard, and expensive. Life is scary, hard, and expensive. I want my kids to reach for the stars. My oldest son’s dream right now is to finish his college degree, get into graduate school at an excellent school on the west coast, (like Berkeley, Caltech, or Stanford—kid has big dreams!) and get in on the early stages of developing quantum computing. Maybe one day he’ll instead end up teaching physics to high school or college students, I don’t know, but I’m going to encourage him all I can and prepare him all I can so that he has the background to try for anything he wants. I would certainly not limit him by telling him he should only work with his hands and not work for anyone else—I’m pretty certain that’s not what Paul means, here. God gives each of our children special gifts and capacities and affinities. I’m pretty sure He never gave a commandment to stay OUT of college. Some of our kids’ gifts may take them far–and we can help them. What a gift to us as parents to get to participate in this process of God sharpening and preparing our children for His use in the world. I sometimes feel like there is a distinct anti-intellectual strain in Christianity today, and oddly enough the homeschool movement seems to be worsening it at times. God doesn’t give us brains to have us hide them away and not use them! We should not be afraid of training our minds to do His work, wherever in the world that is–whether it’s as a missionary or Supreme Court justice. And one of those is gonna take a few degrees!!!
We need a like button on this forum…well said, Bookworm!
Also wanted to say that from my perspective and experience, college can be an excellent life experience, even if one doesn’t end up using their degree in a “practical” way. I am not really using my degree now (although I did work in that field for several years before getting married and having children). But the experiences and relationships I had in college have very much shaped the person I that I am today. The experience was valuable far beyond the degree. I think my husband would agree likewise. We certainly won’t force college for our kids, but will encourage them strongly to consider it – at least going for a year or 2 for the *experience* even if they desire to work in a field that doesn’t require a degree.
I say that just to offer another perspective of why to consider college beyond the idea of feeling like one should have a degree in order to get a job. No tomatoes please.
Jen
Bookworm, I agree with your post as well.
I am certainly not anti-intellectual and not even anti-college. I’m sorry if I’ve made it sound that way in my posts. I am simply anti doing it because a person is 18, graduated high school and it’s the next thing to do. I have seen so, so many kids do just that. Kids without direction or passion for anything. Now, I don’t see that as much in homeschooling circles. The homeschoolers I know tend to be more thoughtful about this subject. They will consider taking a gap year if that would be a benefit and they look in the box and outside the box for options significantly more than schooled famillies.
No, not everyone was meant to work with their hands and I would never suggest so or suggest that scripture says so. My husband, for example, uses his mind exclusively for his work, well unless you count typing, phone dialing, and golfing as using your hands.
My kids joke that his job is to talk on the phone and play golf. That isn’t true, of course, but it is what they see him doing when he works from his home office. Now, the flip side is that he can work with his hands, too, fixing or building most anything – a valuable skill for anyone regardless of their career choice. You’re correct in saying that we are called to be IN and not OF the world. I’m not afraid of training my brain or that of my children do whatever it may be down the road. I don’t find college scary or hard or intimidating, but it is expensive and part of being a good steward is making wise choices. If college is a wise choice for our children, then I will happily open the door and let them walk into that “box”. Our world does desperately need believers in all fields of work.
In sharing a small bit of my story above, I hope I didn’t give the impression that because I became a believer, I chose to give up my dream of being a doctor. I traded my dream for something better for me. I knew that had I pursued and received that degree, I would have felt obligated to work as a doctor given the time and money I would have spent to get it. Prior to knowing Christ, I had no desire to ever marry or have kids. Once I met Him, that changed and I realized that while I could have both dreams, I couldn’t do both well and I didn’t want to. That story may not apply to anyone else at all, but it was the process I went through. Given the current state of medicine in this country, I’m thankful I didn’t go to med. school. Not finishing the nursing degree, yes, that was a mistake on my part, but it wasn’t fatal or eternal. I could always return to school for that if I choose and maybe I will someday after I graduate my four kiddos.
Bottom line…there are many paths to finding success for your future – college, trade school, military, etc. We need to keep spreading the feast before our kids and take seriously our job to prepare our children for whatever they choose so that they might be diligent workers for Christ in any field in the future.
Agree w/ Christie!! But see Bookworms, Michelle’s, point as well!
My husband and I are wanting our boys to go to a Christian college to get spiritual training as well. I attended BJU for a little while, and the benefits outweigh the price! What a wonderful godly place of learning. And many companies seek out BJU graduates not only of their knowledge but also because of their discipline and moral standards!
Everyone needs to seek God’s will for their own family. Every child will be different on what he/she is called to do! Glad their are many options open for us!
Mama Snow, college can make or break you! I think it depends on how grounded you are in the faith. Many will fall away from the faith during this time in their lives. They will be exposed to many anti-Christian things from professors to peer pressure. My dh is a college professor, and he sees all the “junk” that is so overwhelming and so hard to avoid! Maybe homeschoolers have an advantage over this by being more grounded. I am not saying we should not be in the world, but saying that young impressionable lives need to be trained to go out in the world before they are put in the world. Not everyone will succumb to the “college world” but a lot will or at least be on the brink. Again, we as homeschoolers have an advantage to train them to be exposed to the world’s thinking. If there is any one place where you can see the world’s thinking, it is definitely secular college! Just my 2 cents!
As the wife of a man who has a ton of “know how” but no degree, in this day and age, getting in the door for an interview is VERY difficult without a degree of some kind. It doesn’t even necessarily have to be in the field you are working from what I have gathered from others.
Wow! What an incredible discussion has continued since I posted last night!! Obviously we all have opinions that have been shaped by our individual experiences. Personally, I am not against intellectual training OR vocational training! And I certainly don’t think that everyone has to earn a living with their hands.
What I was trying to say is that the emphasis in Scripture is that we not depend on others for our livelihood. Of corse, that doesn’t mean all Christians are entrepreneurs. But I think it does mean that we should be educated and prepared to earn a living for ourselves, if need be.
When the economy tanked a few years ago,many of the families we knew ended up losing their jobs, and some of them lost their homes. Most of the fathers that we offered work to seemed to have the attitude that if the work wasn’t in their field of expertise, it was beneath them. During that slow time for our regular work, my college educated husband cut grass, laid tile, and did handyman work to make ends meet. He prefers to work in business and management, of course, but he wasn’t going to let pride cost us our home.
I think we are all hoping that our children learn the value of both an ‘intellectual’ education and good old fashioned hard work. Most importantly, as msceegee pointed out, I hope we are willing to allow God to lead them down the path HE has chosen for them – without fear getting in the way. In the end, being right in the center of God’s will is the safest and surest place to be!
Sorry for the typos/spelling errors – I am college educated :0)!! Just kidding – phone typing is for the birds!
Agreeing with Bookworm. We must raise Christian warriors who can take dominion in every area be it doctors, engineers, farmers or housewives. We must strive for excellence in all areas of our lives. For some, this will mean doctorate degrees, others apprenticeships or no college at all. But, as a mom, I want my boys equipped for whatever God has for them.
I also wanted to address the topic of Christian colleges. I attended a small, conservative Baptist school in the “Bible belt” of East Tennessee that denied the OT miracles, the deity of Christ and creation. When my oldest son was looking for a college, he wanted to attend a small Christian school. Every one we visited taught many of the same things. Shop carefully and ask lots of questions and make sure your children are able to give an answer for the hope that is within them.
HiddenJewel – I really appreciate your point. I have been weighing back and forth whether to chime in, but your personal experience sums up nicely my “opinion”. People waste degrees all the time, but most of the people that I know that do not have one, generally wish they did – even if they work in construction or something completely unrelated.
My own parents have been very successful in the business place either as employees or entreprenuers, but still feel a bit of “inferiority” or “insecurity” about having not gone to college and I doubt that from meeting them most people would ever guess that they hadn’t attended, but they still feel a stigma from not having gone. (I don’t want to argue about it, just throwing it out there for whatever it’s worth.)
I have questioned the value of my own degree as all the jobs I have held, I have gotten through word of mouth and as a result of people being familiar with my work and work ethic and then an interview… and no one has ever asked about my degree, but the first job was obtained through someone I knew from college so…… I do think that if you work hard and don’t have debt there is some intrinsic value to college that is hard to explain or quantify and at least enough value that you would be doing your children a disservice if you didn’t at least encourage them to keep the option open for a reasonable period of time (in other words, don’t let them stop at remedial math in high school just because they hate math – learning disabilities aside – give them a bit of a push to do hard things even if they don’t end up going to college – they’ll have the benefit of the character they build from doing something difficult.)
You are right about shopping around for a good Christian college! However, I am surprised this “conservative Baptist” college was called conservative Baptist!! I cannot believe that they didn’t believe in those vital things that are of the Baptist faith! Truly was not a conservative Baptist!
I know what BJU believes 😉 and am proud to recommend them to anyone!
I actually am hoping for a private conservative, non-religous college as Christian colleges all have their flavor of what they think the Bible means and don’t always keep their focus on the Gospel. And ths students are not necessarily Christian that attend there even though you phsyche can make you think you are in a safe environment.
My kids joke that his job is to talk on the phone and play golf. That isn’t true, of course, but it is what they see him doing when he works from his home office. Now, the flip side is that he can work with his hands, too, fixing or building most anything – a valuable skill for anyone regardless of their career choice. 
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