Clingy child

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  • 4myboys
    Participant

    My oldest will be starting high school at the PS this fall — not exactly my preference, but ultimately I think it is the best option for him at this point.  I just haven’t been able to really pull it together the last two years.  This leaves me with only my soon to be 12 year old who will be starting grade 7 in the fall.  I have most of the material that I plan to use, except maybe history and grammar.  My days will not be any shorter — my oldest will leave to catch his bus at 8am, my youngest will have to come to the office with me for the morning, but that fine — I can set him up with his own work space (we’ve did that for the first 2 years of homeschooling) and he can get the majority of his work done there. Whatever needs to be finished up together in the afternoon shouldn’t be too time consuming.  I have concerns about him being the only one at home, though.  He’s already something of a “Mamma’s Boy” and acts a couple years younger than he is.  He was diagnosed as combined type ADHD, but I’m not really sure that’s accurate, either.  He’s very bright — finishing MUS pre-algebra this month, was reading at a grade 12 level in first grade, I’ve never really done spelling with him because he spells better than I do for the most part.  But he is easily distracted, fidgety, has certain topics that he is obsessive about, and though he has several friends, he doesn’t like the same boisterous activities that they do for the most part, so he often won’t participate, especially if I am present.  Physical touch is his love language, but there are times when he is downright clingy and it can be frustrating for me as I am torn between enjoying my boy who loves to cuddle and recognizing that it’s not exactly normal for an 11 year old to want to hold his mom’s hand everywhere they go.  Should I be concerned?  Is this something he’ll out-grow in time?  Will homeschooling just him next year likely make it worse?

    Grace
    Participant

    I  don’t have any advice but maybe researching about child development and what he needs at this age would help. Focus on the family might be a resource. They have articles online

     

    Morgan Conner
    Participant

    My oldest has ADHD (predominately inattentive) & sounds very much like your son (clingy, immature). Being a girl though makes it much more acceptable to be touchy.

    She goes to counseling for OCD (germs) and anxiety. I think that has helped bc the advice on how to deal is coming from a neutral party. The counselor has helped her with the social issues that come with ADHD (immaturity!!). It may be worth looking into. However it took over a year to find someone that I felt wouldn’t undermine our family choices & values.

    Morgan Conner
    Participant

    Also-I have a good friend who has a daughter much like mine & is public schooled. So it isn’t an issue of what type of school setting in my mind. It’s who the child is. And that’s why I felt like counseling was the best approach. I want her to be able to work through some of these issues but also help her feel secure in who she is as a person. It’s ok to be different than your peers but here are some strategies to help you feel less anxious about it. It’s a fine line to walk! Pray hard for the right answers!

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