Chores and attitudes

The new baby will be here before you know it, and there are a lot of things your oldest dd can do to be a big help to you.  Wouldn’t it be nice to know you can rely on her for certain things, even such as keeping the table cleaned?  I would consider any extra time you spend now on building a proper attitude toward chores to be a great investment for both of you, even at the expense of a few academic moments along the way.

First, I would spend a bit of time studying the 2nd chapter of Philippians with her.  Don’t bring it up in connection with her attitude (although she’ll likely figure out what you’re getting at once you read verse 14!), but simply read through it, perhaps a few verses at a time over a few days.  Make some positive connections to praise her where you can.  For example, when you read verse 4 about looking out for the interests of others, you can tell her something like, “You just live out that verse when you do such-and-such to help Mommy.  I’m so proud of you when you help me like that, and you make Jesus smile!”  And especially when you get to verses 14-15, comment to her that it is so wonderful to “shine like twinkling stars” when we do things with a cheerful heart, unlike so many people who just complain about their work.  Just make it a little study she can see in a very positive light.

Next, I would explain to her that it is your job as a Mom to teach her how to do chores (housework, if you want to call it that instead) properly and with a cheerful heart.  You will no longer complain or argue with her about these things because that would not fit with what Philippians 2:14 says we are to do.  So, if she does not do a task properly or if she has a bad attitude about it, you will (with a cheerful heart–not a mocking smile, of course) assume that she needs more practice in one or both areas.  You will stand by her and instruct her to do the task over again, a set number of times, or until it is done both properly and with a right attitude.  Then, practice will be over.

With this method, there is no need for arguing, an angry tone, or anything that might cause you to violate the principle set forth in Philippians 2:14, and she will learn to accept and follow this as well.

HTH,

Sue

WOW!  My husband and I were discussing (rather desperately) this very subject concerning our daughter (8) this morning.  Thank you, Sue, for the thorough response!