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child's dress up ?
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I am wondering if I am alone in this. My children LOVE to dress up to play. However, it goes too far for me. I don’t know if it is normal and if I stopped it, if I would be “depriving them” a normal childhood experience.
They watch a movie and then do everything they can to dress up like them and play. Meaning: make masks, clothes, paint their faces, etc. Even their voices. And they do this for days. Seriously… days. Last night I went into the bathroom and got in a drawer and their was “Peter’s” clothes that he changed out of and into his Spiderman suit. Even shoes. Folded and squished into the toilet paper drawer.
Is this normal? Or am I letting them take it too far?
That’s normal at my house…mainly regarding my son. He’s done some very interesting things for his make- believe; currently he wears a green pipe cleaner twisted around his arm to signify the distinction between his robot arm and his real arm-inspired by Star Wars. When he watches Bibleman, he’s BIbleman everywhere! Even to clean out the chicken coop.
Another reason why it matters what they watch, hear, and read. After he read The Hobbit he made himself (and anyone else who would wear it) a ring. My only restriction was that he was to use it in the opposite way in which it was used, and created for, in the story; kind of a counter-evil ring, if that makes sense. Because he can get so engrossed, I don’t let him imitate that. Same with Star Wars, I don’t let him pretend to be Darth Vador or use ‘the force’, due to it’s basis in Buddism. So I put limits on a Biblical basis, but allow him to play it out and create the items to go along with it. However, if he spends all his free time on that one area of play, I will require a rest period from it; that’s been good for him since he can get so focused on one thing. But it’s only for a little while, I just like to see variety in his play, but I don’t permenantly take anything away; I am just very careful about what they hear, see and read in the first place as I know they (inc. my dd) will be recreating it in play.
Vision Forum makes the best case regarding children and their play. It helps determine who they actually become in thier lives, as G-dly men and women in their proper BIblical roles or worldly. How and what they play is in imitation, it’s part of development. If you don’t like the characters he’s playing, then perhaps your seeing something that you don’t want develped within him as he grows and what he’s being exposed to is the problem? Just like sometimes we don’t see a bad trait in ourselves until we see our children do it and then we’re like-oh that’s terrible! So we change ourselves so they will be imitating good and not sin.
HTH,
Rachel
That sounds about normal for us too. After we finished Trumpet of the Swan, my children played “swan and Sam Beaver” for several weeks. It seemed to be the only thing they were interested in playing. Their absorption of everything we read and watch is why I am so cautious with what I allow into their minds, eyes, and ears. They are not allowed to watch Spiderman, but somehow my son knows who Spiderman is and what he does.
My children don’t watch many movies, and we don’t have any television channels at all, so the only movies they act out are those they have already seen in the past. They mostly act out books, and I know they’re understanding and comprehending what we’re reading if they can act it out. It’s a form of narration!
As far as clothes being in the toilet paper drawer, I think that is an issue of the habit of orderliness. Dressing up in our house is fine as long as clothes and shoes are put away in their proper place. If things aren’t put away, then the privilege of dressing up gets taken away for a while as a consequence.
I, personally, do not mind the imitation/make-believe as long as it doesn’t interfere with school time or with family time. DH and I are not likely to participate in their re-enactments, and there are times that we just want everyone to be “normal” so that we can have family time.
Hope that all made sense. I had kids hanging off me almost the whole time I was typing that!
I was just reading this portion from Volume 5, Formation of Character:
“Children are born poets, and they dramatise all the life they see about them, after their own hearts, into an endless play. There is no reason why this natural gift should not be pressed into the service of education. Indeed, it might be safe to go further: the child who does not dramatise his lessons, who does not play at Richard and Saladin, who does not voyage with Captain Cook and excavate with Mr Flinders Petrie, is not learning. The knowledge he gets by heart is not assimilated and does not become part of himself.
“Therefore it is well that children should, at any rate, have the outlet of narration, that they should tell the things they know in full detail; and, when the humour takes them, ‘play’ the persons, act the scenes that interest them in their reading” (Vol. 5, pp. 305, 306).
Sounds like your children are enjoying narrating of their own initiative, Nina. The tricky part is to give them ideas worth narrating.
Sounds pretty normal to me, too. My boys are 11, 8 (today) and 4 1/2. My oldest doesn’t play dress-up anymore (too old for that now, he claims), but my 2 other boys love it. They get everything out they can, change their voices, walk like old men, draw pictures of their favorite stories/movies, paint their faces, etc. My 8 yo loves plays, puppets, puppeteers, vintriloquists (sp?), movies, books and the making of everything theatrical:) He really likes to act out whatever he can. My oldest whose personality is much more subdued( and of course is just too old to embarrass himself anymore) is good for regular narrations, some emotion, but not much.
I find that their personalities come out in the way they “narrate,” at least in my house it does, and possibly their age counts for something. If I was a betting person I would say that my oldest would never have “narrated” the way my middle boy does even if we would have started the CM approach when he was young. He would’ve drawn for narration but not acted out the plots/characters.
Just my experience:)
Hi there,
I was glad to see this post because I was going to post a question along similar lines and ask if my daughter is being normal or if not, how to fix it! She is almost 5 and while she doesn’t dress up, she acts out everything and discusses alot what we read or watch. We do not do tv but have a few movies that I am very careful about. And we read alot of course. But, the thing is is that she keeps picking up on all the negative stuff or death or battles and that is what she chooses to talk about alot! I was going through what in the world we are reading for me to keep getting death questions and it is mostly the Old Testiment, and we recently read Jungle book. When I read aloud I try to soften the words if they are harsh but now I feel like I shouldn’t let her hear any stories except really sunshiney ones and I would be so sad to have to stop reading the OT. That would mean all her bible movies are out too… Is this fixation on death/negative normal?? After a while I get frustrated with question after question after question about all the negative things in an otherwise good story. Like Rachel mentioned, is this a character trait I need to redirect in her? Thanks for any insite…
I have three girls, none of whom I would consider “normal”, and I am grateful for that! They love dress up and our youngest (5) is asking more about death or including it in her play (not in a grotesque way, but maybe one of her dolls had a friend who died). The girls have had 4 great grandparents, 1 grandparent and the 17 year old brother of a close family frien die in the course of a year so lots of death talk around here. I would be grateful your daughter is asking you about it and not getting her info from other 5 year olds, that she is playing through her feelings instead of hiding them from you and experiencing anxiety that often comes out in nightmares or wetting pants or aggressive behaviors, and that you have created an environment where it is safe to talk about death and not be ashamed of her feelings or scared to share them. I do redirect at times if lots of people start dying in her story but I do not want her to feel like talking about death is bad. The best thing about my daughter’s curiosity is that we have had wonderful discusions on salvation, Heaven, angels, Jesus, sin, and other topics that families should feel safe to talk about. I know it is hard and many people I know did not grow up in families where you could talk about heavy topics openly but I do not want that for my family. Whether any of what I have said is considered normal or not, I do not know. I really don’t care. Normal is boring. It sounds to me like you are doing a great job. Maybe the next time she gets fixated on the negative in a story, answer her questions and then ask her to tell you something that made her happy in the story or something wonderful God did.
Thank you so much for that post lgeurink. I also want to have a home where any subject is ok and where my children can talk about anything openly. But since she is my one and only right now, I was nervous she was getting too fixated since I have no other child to compare if that is “normal” with. I know, normal is a terrible word. 🙂 She too isn’t doing anything morbid (praise God!) but alot of her pretend friends and family die off alot! Thank you for your insight and I will use the suggestion to ask her to tell me something happy next time someone kicks the bucket…again. 🙂
Wow, thanks ladies. Great posts. Great info and help. This really is a great group. 🙂
Thanks for the reassurance that they are “ok”. They don’t play bad stuff, it is just constant. It has gotten to the point at times where we have to say something along the lines of, “We don’t want Alvin, Simon and Theodore tonight for dinner. We want our children.” I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t allowing them more than what is healthy. But from the sounds of CM volume 5… they are being healthy. 🙂
Thanks again!!!
I don’t think Charlotte would mind a ban on characters at the dinner table or at church or during math! I wouldn’t want chipmunks at the table either!
My daughters’ (ages 7, 5, and 3) favorite phrase to repeat even at the dinner table is “I’m HORRIFED!” a quote by Fraulein Rottenmeir from Heidi with Shirley Temple. lol After any movie we watch including animals they have to act out the story for weeks. I’m glad to hear my girls are “normal” as well. 🙂 We don’t watch tv just dvd’s so limit what they see like Little House episodes, Beatrix Potter, bible stories, etc. I don’t mind them acting out these types of characters.
Tara
What a wonderful topic.
Yes, my children dress up or even just act like whatever character or time period we are immersed in. That means over the 4th of July at fireworks they were pretending the loud noise was artillery from the Civil War, etc. We get lots of pretend play and it’s great!
A recent favorite story. Benjamin (22 months) “Eah!”
Leah (7) “My name isn’t Eah!”
Benjamin: “Eah!”
Leah:”My name isn’t Eah!!”
Me: “Leah, Benjamin can’t say an L. He can’t say Leah.”
Leah: <Big Sigh> “My name is Pippi!”
OR
Watching her for over an hour, screaming and laughing and climbing all over the swing set, she comes in. “Mom, that is a magic swingset. I went to jungles and volcanoes! It was very scary! <pause> I am not going there again!”
From a mom of a very imaginative autistic 7 yr old girl, I count every imagination experience as a blessing. We had to work with her for over a year to get her here. A child that for 5 years wouldn’t even touch a toy other than to line it up. A child that didn’t even know imaginative play other than rote mimicked play. It affects every aspect of her life from language,learning and to the ability to adjust to change. We have seen huge improvements in these areas as her imagination grew. I have seen the other extreme and probably am a little more tolerant than most of when imaginative play is allowed. Pippi has done school work a number of times and we make sure she can get to the table without stepping on the splunks.
hidingplace,
That sounds awesome!! What a blessing to have her home with you and witness God’s goodness.
Maybe I wouldn’t mind it so much if it were from books and not movies/dvds/tv. I would love to see them acting out and playing something from a book!!! Maybe that means I need to do something about the tv?????
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