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Children won't listen
- This topic has 7 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 11 years ago by
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Hi, we have been Home Educating for a couple of months now, and trying to use a CM approach for the last couple of weeks. We have five children aged 14, 11, 8, 6 and 3. I am reading CM recommended books with the 11, 8 and 6 year olds, but don’t seem to be able to get them to concentrate. I am trying to read with as much intonation as possible, and have tried letting them play with simple lacing toys, sitting round a table, sitting curled up together on the sofa… everything I can think of. Half way through, they just start asking when it’s going to be finished, what’s for tea etc etc. If we make it to the end, they can only remember the last few words, or one tiny part of the story. Is it just a case of giving them time to get used to a very different way of learning. I feel like a total failure, and am just about ready to send them back to school. Everybody else whose comments I read seem to be lovoing the CM method, and their children are asking them to read more and more. Do I just have really bad children? I so want this to work.
Please Help.
If this is the first you’ve ever read aloud to them (for more than just a picture book), it will take a while for them to get the hang of listening for a long period of time.
How about reading just a portion of the the days’ reading? Then have the 11 and 8 yo finish it on their own later. Is there a way you can phase them into listening? Perhaps they just hate the book and you should find a different book. How about an audio book – or an audio of a dramatized book?
Just some ideas – I hope some others chime in!
Hi Elizabeth, thank you for your post. You are not at all a failure and no you don’t have really bad children. I am new too and I think time to adjust is called for, as well as starting with much smaller sections of reading and work up little at a time, keeping the habit of narration. This should also help with the habit of attention which I’m sure you will or have heard about 🙂 I am sure other’s will give you most excellent help and advice. This is an incredible forum of wonderful mom’s. Don’t give up yet. Best wishes!
Did you do any “deschooling” before starting homeschooling with them? This sounds like school-children to me… kind of a variation on “is this on the test?” “do we need to do this?” as well as generally tuning out. Look up deschooling.
What specific books are you reading to them and how much at one time? You sound like a great mom, trying to do what is best for your children. I think there is going to be a period of adjustment and time to grow in the habit of attention. But if we know the books you are reading, we may be able to give suggestions to help with the transition to CM.
My suggestions would also be shorter readings or different books. Just because a book is on every CM booklist doesn’t mean it will be a good fit for your DC. 😉 Charlotte herself had books that didn’t go over well with her students…that was one of her reasons for doing the end-of-term exams, to see which books they retained information from.
With that being said, my DC never beg for longer readings and don’t get excited about new books. It’s discouraging when other’s seem to have DC who are so excited to learn. They will listen fairly well but just don’t get overly excited about the readings. They do get excited about art projects or science experiments, so I think they just prefer things other than reading.
Thanks to everyone for your kind and helpful comments.Some of the books we have been using are: The Bible, Wind in the Willows, Gullivers Travels ( an abridged version), and Britannia – 100 Stories from British History (we are in the UK). I also have just bought a Zoology book from Apologia, but haven’t tried starting it yet. We have also used the audio book of James Herriots Animal Treasury for Nature Study. Have been looking up de-schooling today, and am going to take a week or two out to osrt myself out, and let the kids relax, before buildiong up slowly again. I was reading last night that CM placed a large importance on atmosphere, and I think that a recent bereavement, and the possibility of my husband being about to lose his job, and therefore our home, means that our current stress levels are not conducive to a positive learning atmosphere. I feel afraid to ask for help locally in case someone decides we are not “doing a good enough job”, and demands we send the children back to school!
Thanks again for your advice. I have felt very blessed by your comments.
First, you are not a failure. And it’s way too soon to say sending them back might be the answer. Also, everyone else’s kids are not always excited to listen and learn–just come to my house!
So, I was thinking that the books you are reading sound great. But they might require a little too much thinking as they listen during this time of high stress. We have a lot of high stress times around here; and during those, if we read too many things that need strict attention as well as sorting out meaning it becomes too much.
Some of our favorite books that are fun to listen to are:
The Year of Miss Agnes
Mr. Popper’s Penguins
The Great Turkey Walk
Understood Betsy
Anne of Green Gables
Don’t give up! It takes a while. I spend a lot of time wondering why I can’t/or how I can keep their attention, and I’ve been homeschooling 16 years!
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