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child and music lessons
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I’m am feeeling real frustrated at my 8 yr. old son and I don’t think I should. I want him to learn an instrument (even his voice is fine) and he is entirely uninterested. which is amazing since my husband is a drummer and audio engineer and I sing and love to play music in the home.
He’s very cerebral. Loves to learn, is an excellent reader, imaginative; Very project oriented (no, I don’t do them with him, I wouldn’t get anything done if I did) and builds cities with lincoln logs and train tracks, creatures from legoes, playing with his knights and dressing up as Bilbo Baggins, etc… YOu get the drift.
I just bemoan the fact that he’s not interested!
Can someone encourage me? I know in my head it’s silly to force against his bent; I just think it would enrich him so much.
Rachel
Rachel,
We’ve never met, but I am going to be blunt. It’s okay if your son isn’t interested in music. I’ve just finished listening to Chuuck Swindoll talking about children and he said we should not try to make our children like ourselves, we need to let them grow into who God wants them to be.
This probably isn’t comforting but it’s true. I’ve tried to “force” my 10yo dd into doing things I thought would be good for her and it’s never been successful. With my 6yo ds I am learning to let him be himself without my interference.
I totallly agree that music adds another dimension to one’s being, but you can’t force it. It will drive him farther away.
Here’s one more thing to think about. My 6yo ds loves music, loves to play with the keyboard and has a great sense of rhythm BUT I want him to build cities with Lincoln Logs (not use them as drumsticks), I wish he would build creatures with Legos, play with knights and dress up as something but he’s not interested in that sort of thing.
I frustrated myself (and wasted my husband’s hard earned money) for a year trying to make him do all the things I thought would be good for him and it didn’t work. Now I just let him be Caleb and accept that he may never want to do everything your son does…it’s not easy, but that’s how it is. I will admit I was eyeing a Lincoln Log tub at Sam’s last month, it had hundreds of pieces and a track and a train. I was so tempted to buy it and “try” again with him…LOL!
Rachel,
You and your husband will need to decide if learning an instrument is a requirement. If so, that’s okay, you just do it like you would do any other subject your son is not interested in learning.
If it is not a requirement, you may want to consider having him learn to read music at some point, just to get the basics. I say that strictly from my own experience which was, as a new Christian, going into a church and not having a clue as to how to sing the hymns. Sometimes the things we teach our children come as a result of our own sense of lacking (or ‘gaps’) as adults. That’s okay, because that can very well be the Holy Spirit’s leading to fill it in for our children.
Remember that children are wonderfully able to pick up quite a bit just from being exposed to it. You are already doing that so, as you continue to ‘do what you do’ you may see a desire surfacing in him. Also, as he is listening to music, singing with you or in church/other groups he is gaining skill. Eight is still quite young and so I will encourage you to just continue on, rather than pushing it; it sounds like you are doing a great job.
One more thing and then I’ll hush up. You may want to read through Charlotte Mason’s teaching on music/instrument study and see what she considered the goals to be for a child.
Blessings,
Cindy
Thanks ladies. That’s funny Cheryl that you would love to see your son building (yeah, until you have to find a place to put them!)
Cindy, I will check out was Maon has to say on the subject, thanks!
It’s terrible, when he claps to the praise music in our congregation, he’s not even on beat! AARGH!I can’t believe I spawned a child that can’t keep a beat; I clap his hands for him till he gets it.
I definitely don’t want it to be a contentious matter. The basics for me are an appreciation so it will be present in his life. And he enjoys the kind of music that I want him to.
He definitely has a strong bent elsewhere, but I will keep praying that if the L-rd wants it to happen than to show us when and what.
He is young and I mentally know better than to try to ‘make’ them into something they’re not supposed to be. My dd is musicly inclined. I’m sure there is some coveteousness of other children I know that play instruments (and I did as a child). I just need to get over it!
I actually have a ‘vision’ for him that I beleive the L-rd gave to me long ago, and it doesn’t involve an instrument!
Rachel
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