Character and Habits…is it too late?

Tagged: , , ,

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • January 22, 2015 at 10:19 pm
    Tjbowman34
    Participant

    I have been on here several times posting about different concerns.  Please forgive me if I am repeating myself.  I have a God guided heart to homeschool my children ages, 13, 10, 9, and 7.  This presents an even more challenging task on my part because I am doing it alone, totally alone!  When my husband abandoned us 5 years ago, I went into a deep depression.  For almost 2 years I wasn’t able to train my children.  I took care of the needs only, food, shelter, etc.  I was NOT there to instill good habits in them.  They are well mannered children, however, laziness (being lackadaisical), carelessness, lack of attention, neatness, diligence and consistency are no where to be found in our home, and I am to blame because all they saw me do for the longest time was lay in the bed.  Years later, I am not that same person, I am full of life and grab onto it everyday!  I love my life!!

    Have I missed the window of opportunity during there young years?  Is it too late for me to get my children on track with these habits they so desperately need?  Where do I begin? What does it look like?

    Thank you,

    Tameka

     

     

    January 23, 2015 at 6:22 am
    2Corin57
    Participant

    I’m new, still reading through everything myself, but I would say no – it is never too late. The first thing to do, is to make sure they clearly see those same traits evident in your daily life, which I would say they are. Talk to them, have a very real, and frank conversation with them (your oldest could probably handle the most, the youngers might need a toned down version), where you apologize for the example you were setting, but also explain to them what happened and why. Perhaps, tell them that this is something you want to work towards, together, that you want to all hold each other accountable as you strive towards more Godly attitudes, that you want them to learn from your mistakes.

    I’m assuming that the character book they sell here would be great in this situation. I know I’m looking at it myself for our family.

    January 23, 2015 at 2:51 pm
    BlessedMommy
    Participant

    I don’t think it’s too late at all to help guide your children to grow, change and develop good habits. Actually, I don’t think we ever really reach a point in life where we wipe our hands and say “Well, my work here is done.” I don’t think it can ever be “done”. Because we, as humans are so imperfect, there is always room for more growth and change. Even as adults, we can go through seasons of dropping bad habits and forming new and better ones. I think those, who were equipped with the skills at home, have an easier time doing this when they are an adult. So even with your oldest, you still have time to help instill wonderful habits and character in them. And it will trickle down to the younger ones. And you can work together as a team to make positive changes. It’s an on going process and it WILL get better with time. And like the pp said, leading by example will also have a huge impact. I will say, just focus on changing 1-2 things at a time rather than everything. I have heard wonderful things about Laying Down the Rails & LDTR for Children. (I hope to add it to our home library one day).

    January 24, 2015 at 5:33 am
    Melanie32
    Participant

    It’s never too late! In fact, I’ve found it amazing how quickly children bounce back and change routine and attitudes. I’m so sorry for all that you’ve had to go through but am glad to hear you’re doing better now. I’ll be praying for you and your kids today. Nothing is impossible with God! 🙂

    January 24, 2015 at 2:47 pm
    anniepeter
    Participant

    I will just add that it would be wise to do everything you can to make sure their “love tanks” are full before you try to take this to any great extent. They will not be willing participants if you don’t… Spoken from painful experience.  Our oldest children are helping us to understand this now.  I failed them in this, always expecting of them and never completely meeting their need to feel loved and accepted just as they were.  Your children may also need to be assured that you will never “abandon” them in this way again, that you are committed and able through God’s power to be there mentally, emotionally, etc. now.  But make sure you forgive yourself too.  This had been difficult for me, but I just have to remind myself I can’t go there.  Jesus already went there for me and I need to do the best I can from this day forward and let the past go.  I just pray that God will use it to glorify Himself now. He is the only one that can completely fix and heal  it now and He will get all the credit when it happens.

    You’re probably already doing many things for them (acts of service), but also love them with your time, your ears, your touches, little gifts/notes, and your words of affirmation.  And it takes a lot more of this for many kids than I ever thought.

    I will pray for you too. Hugs…

Viewing 5 posts - 1 through 5 (of 5 total)
  • The topic ‘Character and Habits…is it too late?’ is closed to new replies.