I’ve been doing read alouds with our 9yo daughter and 11yo son for years, but now they have such different interests and for some reason the age difference seems magnified right now. I’m having a hard time finding one that appeals to both. We are currently reading Hans Brinker or The Silver Skates (neither one is thrilled with this book yet) and we are reading The Adventures of Buster Bear for Science (9yo asks for more each time we read; 11yo thinks it’s too juvenile). Would you read aloud to each separately or use this as an opportunity to teach “not all things in life are entertaining; eventually we’ll come to one you like” and try to find selections that appeal to both?
Also, the 11yo has expressed that he really doesn’t like being read to any more. Do we continue anyway telling him that it’s good for him or back off and give him more independent reading assignments?
Here’s my two cents; don’t know if it will be helpful or not…
I think your instinct to teach the “not all things are entertaining; we’ll eventually come to one you like” is right. It is true that not every child is going to like every book, but that doesn’t mean they can’t learn something from it. Since their ages aren’t that different, you shouldn’t have to teach separately what you could teach combined if you don’t absolutely have to. That creates more work for you!
If he wants to read by himself (maybe the subjects that aren’t taught together), by all means, let him do it. I would still expect good narrations and that he read as much as you were planning to read, if you had read it to him. And if your plan is to use the same book for both kids in science, read aloud to your daughter and let your son read to himself. He may find that it is far more difficult to have to read page after page alone that it was to be read to, and he might come to appreciate the joy in being read to.
Also, since CM was so keen on family read alouds, maybe you should still have a reading-for-pleasure book for that purpose. Maybe your son would even enjoy reading to the family!
I was thinking the same thing (about how reading separately would create more work for me), but I didn’t want to be ‘stubborn’ in an area that I shouldn’t be (I tend to do that alot -but I’m learning). I really like the idea of letting him take a turn reading during these read aloud times. I think that would help him and me!! It’s so funny how a simple thing as letting him do some of the read aloud wasn’t even on my radar.
I found some CM quotes that might be helpful in encouraging your son to begin reading by himself:
“A child has not begun his education until he has acquired the habit of reading to himself, with interest and pleasure, books fully on a level with his intelligence.” “Once the habit of reading his lesson-books with delight is set up in a child, his education is–not complete–but ensured” (Vol. 1, p 229).
“It is a delight to older people to read aloud to children, but this should be only an occasional treat and indulgence, allowed before bedtime, for example” (Vol. 1, p 228).
What CM’s definition of an “older child” is, I have no idea–maybe 12 or 13 years old, or by 6th grade.
There is another passage out of Laying Down The Rails that I found about it being unnecessary for the mother to create more work for herself, but I can’t find it right now. (Guess I should’ve kept my habit of attention stronger while I was reading it!) Sonya would probably know exactly what I’m talking about and where to find it. She’s awesome like that!
I’m afraid I shall fall short of “awesome” today, for I can’t recall that quote you described, Lindsey. (I looked for a tongue-in-cheek face, but couldn’t find one. )
However, here is some help on when to start making the transition to the child’s reading for himself:
“Children between six and eight must for the most part have their books read to them” (Vol. 3, p. 214).
So I would think that around ages 9 or 10 we could start making the transition to having the child read some of his lessons independently. Keep in mind that age is not the magic criteria; it depends mostly on how well the child can read for himself and whether he is ready developmentally. And, keep in mind that we can make the transition gradually, easing into it a little at a time.
Thank you ladies for the wonderful citations from CM’s writings. I was concerned about the fact that he really doesnt’ enjoy being read to anymore. He actually prefers doing all of the readings on his own. I’ve been unsure as to whether I should make him sit through the read aloud sessions and what I’m gathering is that the leisure family read aloud time would be good for him, but if he’s wanting to read the other subjects (history, science, etc.) on his own then let him and require good narrations from him. Am I on the right track with this thinking? This leads me to another question. We are currently doing Gen-Deut. and Ancient Egypt; for the “family read-aloud” work should I let him read that independently if he wants and then let him narrate? I had in my mind that we would do this as a group and talk about it together, but he really wants to do the reading on his own.
Thanks again! It’s so helpful to have others to navigate this homeschool journey with.
I think you are right to let him read on his own if that’s what he’s really wanting to do. Just be careful that he doesn’t get lax in his narrations. You could make the narrations a family time, where he and your dd have to narrate the same thing.
I have the opposite problem with my son. He will be 11 this April and he will not read to himself. We often read five to six differnt books at a time and of differnt subjects. He loves for me to read to him, all the time and for hours. For years now he has been an excellent narrator. If we put a book down for weeks and pick up again, he will remeber what I have already read and re-narrate for me. My heart does trouble me because he will not read on his own. I have to sit with him and listen. When we read the Bible in the mornings he will read what I ask of him, but not books. We choice books together to find his interests and I still battle over him reading them. Am I missing something or doing something wrong? I do not mind reading to him, I plan on doing this for a long time. I am concern with his furture habits on reading. What should I do or be thinking about?
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