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Calling fellow twin mamas
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<p style=”text-align: left;”>Hello! I have 5 year old twin boys. I have an 8-month-old who is almost maintainence free, and extremely hard-working 14, 11, and 8 years olds. Our whole life revolves around keeping the twins alive. I am sooooo frustrated with them. I know all the things. I’m the oldest of 9, whom I helped raise, and know all the tricks, all the different child-training techhniques, all the different ways to keep 5-year-olds busy and alive, etc. They are exhibiting all the worst behaviour typical of 5-year-old boys, from suddenly developing food dislikes, to <i>drawing on every conceivable wall. I am so, so frustrated. I feel like a terrible parent. I feel like it’s just impossible to have any kind of sanity with them. The frustrating thing is I know what to do. I know how to manage 5-year-old boys; I’ve been doing it successfully since I was 7. But the big kids are so behind in school, and every time we begin to have a successful school hour, I discover some new thing the 5-year-olds destroyed. Anyway,I don’t even know what I’m asking. I’m just so overwhelmed. </i></p>
I do not have twins, and I only have three children, so I wouldn’t dream of offering advice. But I am praying for you. It is a season and will change eventually. Lean on the Lord and give yourself Grace. Perhaps dont worry too much of being “behind” but rejoice in the little progress you make each day. Your children are learning so much just being part of the family and watching you manage real life. If you have never visited Sarah Mackenzies Read Aloud Revival podcast I encourage you to check it out. She has seven children I think including twin boys. Her oldest daughter remembers those years fondly, though minimum school happened she says she learned and grew so much helping with the little kids. There are some podcasts where the daughter talks about her memories of twin chaos. They might be helpful to you. Hang in there mama.
Also Sherry Hayes of Mom Delights is a homeschooling mom of 15. She has lots of encouragement for large family mothering on her blog.
One of my favorite things that Sarah Mackenzie always says is “you were never meant to be enough.” He calls us to bring our measly loaves and fishes and then He blesses it and makes it enough. He doesn’t call us to be “enough.” I remember her quote when I know what I am doing is nowhere near enough. But I also know I am called to do this mom thing, so I offer my scraps and trust it will miraculously turn into enough.
I have seven children ages 2- 10 and my two-year-old boy is exactly like your twins. Every time I turn around he has destroyed something major or made a huge mess that takes me a long time to clean up. Some of my middle kids are pretty destructive, too, often just by accident.
I’ve actually been wanting to reach out to some more experienced moms for some advice on school with this situation myself. My four oldest are in school and my fifth is eager to start but I don’t have time to work with her. (She just turned 5.) With the four big kids, we usually get our 3 R’s done and I try to do some poetry every day, but we aren’t getting much history and geography in and those are subjects I think are pretty important. I’ve been stressing a lot about how stripped down our school days are. I’m afraid this time is going by and I’m not using it the way I want to. I’d like to take a “time out” and figure out how to do the best I can in this situation so I’m putting the effort where it counts and teaching what is really important. One thing that especially bothers me is we haven’t done any narration in quite a long time. I really love Charlotte Mason and want to do it, but by the time math, spelling, grammar and phonics are over, there isn’t time left in the day for it!
I bought “Visits to the Middle East” back in August but we just haven’t been able to fit it in more than a handful of times. I decided this week to just read through the books “Hungry Planet” and “Material World” with the kids one reading at a time and go find the country we read about on the map at the end of the chapter. Hopefully that will help us learn some geography, anyway.
I have several art packets but we don’t change out the picture in our art frame but once every three months or so!
One thing I do cling to is something I heard from Andrew Pudewa of IEW. I listened to a lot of his talks years ago and he says “The most important thing you can do for your children educationally is to read aloud a lot.” This is something we have always done. I use all three meals for read aloud time since the younger ones are eating and least disruptive.
To encourage myself that we are making progress, I started keeping a list of what books we’ve read aloud on the side of our school cabinet. Over the year and a half since I’ve started the list, we’ve read a lot of great books including The Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Laura Ingalls and lots of other good ones. I hope Andrew Pudewa is right!
Best of luck to you and thank you for sharing, it’s helpful to know other families are struggling through these situations too!
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