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Boys and girls sharing a room?
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Do any of you have boys and girls who share rooms? We have a small 3 br house. Space is tight! Not complaining, I actually prefer a tiny house to a larger one. I can hear the children pretty much wherever they are:) We have an eat in kitchen, dining room we use as a book/school room and living room that you can all see from the front door…. 3 sweet children ages 8 (girl) 6 (boy) and 4 (girl). The kids keep asking to share a room. They want to turn one room into just clothes and beds and the other into just toys and play things. Is this a good idea with a mixed lot? If they were all boys or all girls I wouldn’t hesitate, but with there being a boy in the middle I’m not sure it is appropriate since it is not a necessary arrangement. What are your opinions?
Thanks!
We did it for a while, a year or two ago. Currently they are 7yo boy, 5 1/2yo girl. The reason we stopped was because they would either play too much or argue too much! I don’t have a problem with it at all. I know another family who’s kids shared a room till they were much older than my kids. You could just make it a point to say you need to change your clothes in private (or whatever your rules will be). Currently our boys share a room and our girl has her own. Part of me wishes I could put them all together (our house is 3 bedroom, and under 1000 sq ft) so I could have another room for school stuff or whatever. So, there’s my 2 cents! Hope that helps a little!
We have only three bedrooms also, so we have two boys in one room, five girls and one two year old boy in the other. (And then we have our own, unelss there is a small baby, but there isn’t currently). It is fine; we have a few rules also, but we have a separate clothes room (small), so no one changes in their bedroom, anyways.
We don’t have boys and girls room together to avoid the whole getting dressed in front of the other gender issue. We’re in a 3 bedroom as well so we have the 2 girls in one room, the 3 oldest boys in the second, and the baby boy is in my husband and my room. He’ll move into the room with his brothers around a year old, but he’s only 3 months old right now.
We did until last year… when my son turned 7, we made a room for him in the loft… mind you it was mostly because we were ready to move the baby into the bedroom and I didn’t want to try to find room for 4 in the same room!
Why not have a Boys room and a Girls room? Put the 4yo in with the 8yo.
We here are fine with it. Right now we have 2 boys and 2 girls in one room and the baby in her own. The boys have a loft in the room and that is theirs’ and that is where they sleep. The girls share a bed under the loft. They don’t change in there and their pj’s are not revealing 🙂 We have had them seperated before and together before. I think it is whatever works for you at the time.
Just a note, you may want to check out your local or state laws. Some states have laws stating that the opposite sexes can’t share rooms after a certain age. I don’t know if that would be a factor in what you decide to do, but just wanted to throw that out there
I wanted to say the same thing as meagan. I know that it can be a HUGE problem if caught in some states.
We have our kids (8 yo boy, 5yo girl, 3 yo boy) share a room and they also share a bed. (Their choice, not ours). They are young enough that it really isn’t a big deal. We also do not like the children undressing in front of each other for modesty’s sake, so they take turns changing in the bedroom/bathroom and our bedroom.
Also, the previous posters who posted about it being against the law to have siblings of opposite sex share a room just didn’t sound right to me. All of the info I found was that there is NO law in ANY of the US saying that. There were quite a few articles about it. Here is one article I found:
http://www.ehow.com/list_7638816_laws-children-sleeping-one-room.html
Lol – and before anyone asks, our children are itty bitty, and that is how 3 fit into one twin sized matress. They have a bunkbed mind you, but they get “lonely” for each other.
We wouldn’t have it any other way. We’ve seen nothing but blessings come from them being together in the same room.I would be hesitant… We have 3 girls (8, 6 1/2, and 4) and 1 boy (1 1/2). The girls share a room. Eventually, if/when they get another sibling, he/she will go in the proper room (unless we make part of our family room into another bedroom).
Here is why I am hesitant:
1) My girls from very little on have “noticed” the opposite gender. Around age 2-3, they could not be in the bathroom/bedroom with Daddy anymore. Seriously, yes, they noticed, and we noticed them noticing. My boy, at only 1 1/2, is also starting to notice. Maybe it’s because he is my 4th that I’ve noticed it sooner? I don’t like him in the bathroom with me anymore, quite honestly. I feel like my privacy is being violated.
2) My 3 girls love to “show off” to each other. They think it’s funny, but in reality, it is not right, and it is leading them to a very bad place. I try to catch them in the act and explain privacy and modesty to them. Yes, they are young, and they don’t *think* it’s bad, but God says it is, at any age, so therefore, it’s wrong. Along with this point, when my brothers and I were children, I remember we used to “show off” to each other, as well, *when Mom and Dad weren’t around* to catch us, because we *knew* it was wrong. And we were around your kids’ ages. I was the oldest, maybe 8-10 yrs old, my brothers were 2 yrs and 5 yrs younger than me. And they knew it was wrong, too, which is why they *never* would do it when our parents were around, and they *never* told to this day (in fact, this is a very rare moment for me to admit this myself – and I still haven’t told our parents).
3) My dh is *very* open with me about his feelings as he grew up. Ask your dh what it was like for him at that age. If he is anything like my dh, he will have noticed girls and their parts. My dh accidently saw some girls dancing *ahem* …you know… next door once when he was around 10ish (I think), and that image never has left his head. He has also told me about seeing his mom BF’ing his little brother (he was 5 when his brother was born) and wanting a “taste” of the milk (which his mom allowed once, and hubby still says how stupid that was of her to do that). He has also mentioned seeing girls when he was very young (elem age) who were not dressed appropriately and what feelings that aroused in him, even at that age.
My main point being: Be careful. Satan lurks where you’d least expect it. From my dh’s and my experience, we will keep the children seperate and try to protect them from the things that happened to us growing up.
Boy/girl sharing “laws” only applies to foster situations and the like as far as I know. We have our 3 oldest sharing a room, they are boy 7 (8 next month), boy 4 (5 next month), and girl 2.5. Then our 16 month boy/girl twins share a room. We did this because we knew the babies would wake the other kids and we have a 3 bedroom house. Also the babies room is more like the size of a closet and only fits 2 baby beds. Mine will be separated with 3 boys in 1 room and 2 girls in the other when we move in a few months or once the twins are sleeping all night.
The other posters did make good points and voice valid concerns. But, really it has to be based on your family and your children’s personalities.
When our son turned about 6 my husband talked with me and said it was time to buckle down and teach him to knock on the door and not to let him see me in a towel or dressing or other such things. The only exceptions we make to this are when the babies are nursing, there is an emergency or one of the 3 littles are getting a diaper change (my 2.5 yo girl still wears them for bed).
I figure you have some type of rules of this kind in your home already so you just have to decided what is right for you.
We have friends whose 5 kids shared a room most of their youth and it was fine. Also one who shared a room with her twin brother most of their youth and it was okay.
Children don’t have to share a room for their to be issues of the boy/girl nature and they see each other in pajamas regardless of if they share a room.
They probably have as great if not greater potential of seeing “exposed” women or men for that matter walking down the street or at the pool than in their own home.
Anyway that is just my opinion. You will make the right choice for your family.
In a siblings as best friends book (not sure of the exact title) it suggested having children (of any gender) share a room. Our family goal is to have close children who enjoy each other’s company and are good friends as well as relatives. So we put our children (1 boy & 1 girl) in the same room and then changed the other room into a playroom (which is slowly being altered into a schooling room as well) 🙂
I saw a difference quickly in their respect for one another and abilities to problem solve with each other. I feel having them share a room was a wise choice.
Their bedroom is basically beds, books and their clothes. The playroom stores all the toys & schooling supplies.
I just saw this post today so my reply is a little late coming but I agree with most other posters here. I have a 8dd and a 4ds and once my youngest went from baby bed to regular bed he moved right in with his “sissy”. When she turned 8 we got them bunk beds. We are beginning to discuss more in detail about modesty and thought it was just time for them to have their own beds. Plus they thought bunk beds were so cool. 🙂 Our house is only about 1200 sq feet and it has 3 small bedrooms. We turned the other room into a playroom, schoolroom, computer room. They love it. When asked if they’d rather have their own rooms they say no way! That being said we have rules about changing in seperate rooms and about pajamas. In their bedroom is their beds, clothes and stuffed animals. So basically there in there to sleep and that’s all. We will be in this house for at least 2 more years so this will be the setup until we feel it doesn’t work anymore. 🙂
We wouldn’t have it any other way. We’ve seen nothing but blessings come from them being together in the same room.
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