Looking for some advice for a mom of a 1st born son who is going on 12 and needs to release more of that man in him. He is a very hard worker. When he works on major projects they are done to perfection.
Here’s 2 examples from this week. He wanted to earn some money so we gave him a job of picking up all the log piles around our house that have been there for 2 years from putting in the driveway and house while building the house. This my dh thought would take about 2 – 3 nights at roughly 3 hrs plus. My driven son finished in a night and a quarter and took him about 1.25 hours. All logs stacked as told and done and cleaned up as instructed. #2. It’s been raining here for days. I aske him to wash out the inside of all my cabinets and the top of the cabinet (you know that foot of space that collects grease and grim and we don’t know why). He moved everything and washed to perfection again and only took him one afternoon.
He needs more things to do. We are not ready to hand over the saw and let him cut all the dead trees down though it would be nice. But I just can’t seem to figure out what to give him to do that will make him feel useful, get rid of that pent up energy and still be doing something worth while (and not just to give him something to do). Now that’s during the summer where there are lots of things I am hoping to find him outside, my other concern is what will happen come winter around here? AHHH..
What did, are you or have you done to keep these little men in training learning, exploring, and becoming the man you want them to be? Thanks and blessings, Misty
I have 13 year old, who is very helpful and eager to please. My hubby is military and was gone for the first part of the summer and will be leaving in a week or so for 6 weeks. That said, my son loves to wash all of our pans and dishes that won’t fit into the dishwasher. He too likes mowing, but it does wear him out. He also just learned how to knit along with his sisters. He also loves playing the piano.
I too need to find some other things to keep him busy, because he has been reading anything he can get his hands on. Not that this is a bad thing, but he has read some of the books from our home library more than one time.
Thanks for posting this! I think I will be following this, to see what other responses you get.
Gaeleen – we are out of town on 10 acres! And those were wonderful ideas, my son does love cutting the grass and though he doesn’t like weeding the garden it’s part of our week 2-3 times a week.
Jenielle – a boy who loves to wash dishes your future daughter in law (if God so chooses) will be so happy!
Both – how do you teach a busy, can’t sit still boy how to knit, sew or the other?
This probably wouldn’t work for everyone, but it does for us:
Sit-ups and push ups in the morning, trampolining or biking break around 10:30, chore break at 3:00, then biking or something else outside until I need help with meals.
We are blessed with a quarter section of hills. I usually encourage walking or biking every second day on these hills, even just for twenty minutes.
Wheelbarrow rides for younger folks is doubly good – they have fun, you get a break, he gets exercise!
I find with enough active breaks, there is more focus and attention span for the sit still things. However, those have had to be cultivated. I have literally had to set a timer and say, “You cannot get up from this chair until the timer goes off. You must be working the entire time. You must not distract others with conversation not related to the work.”
The first time he didn’t last a minute. Now he can focus for long periods of time.
The whole knitting thing works well for my son, because he is very competititve. He saw how much free time the girls were devoting to knitting and he wanted to be a part of it. We are taking a class at the library, which started out with just the two girls and some others from our homeschooling group. Now, both girls and both boys and myself are all knitting. My littlest, who is 6 is using a hat loom….but it is knitting just the same!
I actually have a terrible time with eczema on my hands and it started out as a need, while my husband was away. But he enjoyed being allowed to play in the water so much…that now he insists it is his job to wash the dishes. My husband usually washes the pans when he is home.
My kids used to have a lot of trouble sitting still, but that has all changed in the last 9 months. I pulled my youngest daugther out of school last fall, because she was having a terrible time focusing on anything. We completely changed our diet. We have basically switched from eating what we thought was healthy, to a Whole Foods diet, with very few packed foods. We are on a elimination diet and have discovered many things that were causing hyperactivity in all of my kids. It has been a wonderful blessing and has changed our family so much, not that it was bad before. There was just a lot of really emotional days that have been eliminated for the most part, except when someone is reacting to something. Sitting still wasn’t something that used to happen very often before and now things are different.