Boy/Girl Sharing Room Ideas

I honestly wouldn’t worry about your son feeling lonely if he has always had his own room.  And as he gets older, he will definately want his own space away from his little sisters.  I can understand this as a temporary solution if you are concerned about the babies keeping your daughter awake at night if they are in the same room or don’t have the space for two cribs and a twin sized bed in there at this point, but I can’t see it working for more than a year or so — especially with a 3 and 7 year old of opposite gendar. 

Still, you know your children much better than I do — how well they get along and how tolerant your son is about his little sister possibly getting into his stuff.  How does your son feel about sharing with his little sister?  You will definately need to find a way to give him some personal space.  How large is the room?  It sounds pretty full already.  Does he have playmates over and do they play in his room?  Does he do school work in his room?  Does he have collections that will need to be kept out of little hands?  If he is taking the top bunk, can you put some shelves high enough that only he can reach them? Can you put locks on the lockers?  You know yourself how resourceful little kids can be.  Despite having a hook-and-eye on my bedroom door growing up to try to keep her out, it took no time for her to figure out how to pull over a stool and open the door any time she’d want in there.  Bins and drawers will not be a deterant for your dd3 if she really wants to play with something. 

Are there other options?  If this was happening at my house, I would give the girls the largest bedroom and let my son have his own space.   But this isn’t my house or my family, and only you know the best solution at this point. 

Hi Jenn,

We have eight children in two not very large bedrooms, and personal space is a definite challenge. The largest bedroom has five girls and one three year old boy, and the tiny bedroom houses our thirteen year old son and eighteen month old boy.  Don’t ask me where the new baby will sleep in January…. because I don’t know and am losing sleep over it!!

I would suggest a small special chest for special things (small so that the special things are really special).  High shelves in a closet also work well for the things that really must be kept away.  I would encourage you to be careful with this, however.  It’s good for them to learn to share.  Ours are happier for it.

Also, nothing replaces teaching good old respect for privacy.  This is difficult at the beginning with small children, but pays off in the long run.  They can learn more quickly than I thought that everything is not theirs   🙂

If you are sure you want them to share the room, I would encourage you to move them in well in advance of the babies’ arrival.  Too many changes at once are never fun.  As they get older, you can re-evaluate and put all the girls together if that seems best (in my opinion, likely it will by then).  But I definitely understand you wanting the babies having their own room right now. 

Blessings to you as you prepare for your growing family.

My oldest son and daughter shared a room (and then them plus the next daughter) until we had #4 in our bedroom and would be moving her into the “kids” room in a few months… at that point we made a room for him and shifted everyone…  I think we moved the baby over when she was about 6 months…..

So we had a 6yo boy, 4yo girl and 2yo girl together.    We now have 7yo boy in own room, and 5yo girl, 3yo gilr and 1yo girl together.

They adapt.

That is so sweet that your only 2 children up to this point will be roommates. My ds7 and his younger sister have been roommates since she was about 6 months old. The two are like best friends. I have not yet read the book, Making Brothers and Sisters Best Friends, but the title reminds me of my two. When we moved last fall, we had the option of putting ds in his own room, but they did not want to be separated yet. That is when we got them bumk beds. Their bed is their “private” space and each has an underbed tote with their own toys in it. The other toys are shared. I believe some of the trials that come up actually help them to learn how better to deal with others. I guess you could call it socialization. They each change clothes in the bathroom for privacy. When it is the right time, they will each have their own room. But, I know in my heart that this is right for our family at this time. When would you separate them? Either when you felt the babies were ready to be more independent of you and sleep better and would not disturb dd3 or when you felt your darling little boy “growing up” and needing his own room. Bedtime is special with them both in the same room. Each picks a story or I pick it and we read a Bible story. We have special life discussions that the books open up to us. Then lights out, each says their prayers, and I play a bedtime CD of music. They know that they are not allowed to talk anymore once the music is on. They know they are expected to go to sleep and they do.

Congratulations on the twins! You are blessed with such a nice family.

We also have a small 3 bedroom home. My dd8 and my ds4 have been sharing a room for about 18 months now and they absolutely love it! We bought bunk beds and they each have their own blanket and pillow case according to their tastes. THey each have their own dresser with only their special things on them. We painted there room meadow green and they each picked out a Bible verse poster that suited their personality. I can honestly say they will probably share a room for a while. That being said…..their bedroom is for sleeping and reading. The schoolroom/play room houses all of our school/craft supplies and all there toys. They are not allowed to change in the bedroom, only the bathroom. That is strictly enforced. We have allowed them to sleep in the same bed when there was a terrible hail storm. But other than that they cannot sleep in eachothers bed. I have to say that they would be heart broken if I seperated them. They are, like another poster said, best friends. They love being together. 🙂 Most all of the toys, which are few, are shared. They each have a few trinkets of their own, my girl mostly, that they keep in a small bin in the closet. It works for us!

If “such a thing” is going to happen in one’s home, it is not necessarily going to be born out of young siblings sharing a room. In our case, it was an instance between an innocent 3yo and an older child one morning when both awakened early in their separate bedrooms. He is no longer living in our home due to parental separation. Several years have gone by, and God has provided much healing to the joyful, creative, lovely little girl.

Having said that, I hadn’t even recalled this incident (healing for Mom, too) when I read the posts in this thread. Probably foremost in my mind is that each parent knows their children and can be watchful for signs of “growing up” and the need for same-gender spaces separate from opposite-gender siblings. Privacy is a wonderful, respectful thing to be taught to our children, but if the privacy and respect we’ve instilled in them is in any way violated, then we respond as parents should….and hopefully, we try not to bear all of the responsibilty for the children’s mistakes ourselves. As parents, we have our own sins of which to repent; we can’t repent for our children’s sins–they bear that responsibility themselves. If we’ve taught them well, perhaps there will be less sins for which they need to repent. However, ultimately that is up to them.