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Bedtime Routine
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Good evening everyone,
I am having an issue with our children’s (ds6 and dd4.5) bedtime routines. Let me start this off by saying that both children are EXCELLENT sleepers. We have never had issues with them getting out of bed, playing/talking in bed, or whining when it’s time to go to bed. They have always had great sleeping habits and have never complained about bedtime or naptime–they still take a nap everyday!
My issue (it’s not their’s…solely mine) is their routine. We’ve been singing the exact.same.songs and praying.the.exact.same.prayers for over 4 years now. When I put them to bed by myself (dh works 4 nights a week), I rock my dd, sing 2 songs, and pray the same prayer; then I rock my ds, sing 2 songs, and pray the same prayer. It’s not that I don’t cherish these times; it’s just that the children don’t stay still during our bedtime rituals anymore, especially dd. When dh is home, the routine is the same, but then he repeats it with each child.
They used to melt into my arms, lay perfectly still and listen to me sing and pray. Now, dd will make funny faces at me, wiggle, and sometimes sing along, but use the wrong words on purpose. My ds is still, but he doesn’t seem to be interested in what I’m doing. The problem comes when I try to veer off this routine; they both get very upset.
I know routines are a security blanket for kids, especially young ones. I don’t want to take away their security or the sweet time of putting them to bed at night. I also don’t feel comfortable with just kissing them goodnight and sending them off to bed. I just wonder if maybe they’re getting a little too old for the long, drawn-out bedtime routine. Maybe it’s time for something shorter and simpler? If that’s the case, I don’t know how to work that transition.
Any thoughts??
~Lindsey
Why not keep the routine, but pick some new songs and teach them to pray – lead them in talking to the One who created them and let them talk to Him about anything! You can use the Lord’s Prayer as an example and the visual of your hand to teach them the parts – acknowledge God’s greatness, confess your sins, give thanks, pray for others, pray for yourself, close. Teach them some fun moving songs – King David had an Army, This Little Light of Mine, Father Abraham (all great for getting the wiggles out before bed). Pick up a great family devotional book like My ABC Bible Verses, Little Visits with God, Story Time with the Millers, etc.
Make the evening routine enjoyable and long lasting by changing the parts – new books, new songs, prayer from the heart each day. My kids 9, 6, 2.5 and 2 months all participate in our family evening routine and love it! However, I think we would have lost them to boredom long ago, if we did exactly the same thing every night. I hope that doesn’t sound harsh. I don’t intend for it to, but I can’t come up with a better way to put it. I guess I’m trying to say, keep the routine, but bring it back to life with variety!
Blessings,
Christie
I wish my girls still took naps! Maybe this summer; a siesta, if you will.
Bedtime is very routine in our house too. My girls are 6 and 3.5. Since I’m not always here at nighttime, the bedtime ritual is usually Daddy time. We pray together as a family (if I’m here), then the girls get to pick out books for him to read, or whatever they are wanting for their alone time. If they act up during the prayer or don’t pay attention to him reading, then it’s lights out. They don’t want him to go, so they normally are very well behaved. Tonight they weren’t, but that wasn’t their fault. We were over too late at a friend’s house and they were too tired. Prayers and tucking, but no stories tonight.
I don’t think they’re too old. I would ask them what they want to do since they are getting older. Sometimes they just want Daddy to dance with them, sometimes books, sometimes he just crawls in bed and talks to them until they fall asleep. When I’m home, this is what they want me to do. You never know, they might come up with something that you never thought of and it becomes a new and wonderful nighttime routine.
When I was a child, up through high school, my mom and I said the exact, same prayer every, single night together. It was lovely for me, especially since it was just the two of us; it’s not for everyone, though.
HTH!
I’m with Christie in many ways. Our evening routine is usually family scripture reading then family prayer. Then each child goes up to bed to say their individual prayers. We say different prayers every time – using the Lord’s prayer as an example – We open in the name of our Father, thank Him for our blessings, ask forgiveness, ask for what we or others need, then close in the name of Christ.
Then dad reads a book to them as they lay in bed. It’s usually a chapter book of some sort and they love that special time. Our boys are 9, 9, 6 and 3 and they aren’t too old or too young for stories.
If I’m the one putting them to bed (only when dad works nights which is rare right now or deployed) we do the same thing, but I usually end up singing after the story. I have a list of about 15 songs that I run through (and have since the oldest was a baby). By the second time through they are all asleep.
The books change all the time, the scripture we are reading changes and the length of time does too. Other than that we’ve stayed within the same general structure. Each family is different and sometimes it takes a while to find your balance. I hope the day never comes when my boys won’t kiss me goodnight!!!
Heather
You all must spend a lot of time on bedtime!! By bedtime I mom am ready for my night to end. LOL
We are much simpler, we go upstairs to a quieter area of the house with no toys and have family devotions, pray to God and then they all brush there teeth. This takes us about 40 minutes. Then the little ones get tucked into bed, which is they go potty, get into bed and get there radios or personal mommy tape put on, kisses and hugs and lights off. This is about 5 minutes a piece. That’s it.
I’m jelous my boys would never let me sit and hold them and love them like that. But that’s ok we like it this way. So we’re simple. So maybe your children are just ready for a more simplier bedtime, you could do all those things or just get rid of one of them and simplify it? Just my thoughts.
What is a “personal mommy tape”?
Just curious.
These are all great ideas! I think we are ready for a change, at least I know I am. My children know The Lord’s Prayer…I don’t know why I’ve never incorporated it into our bedtime routine. I am ready for them to begin praying on their own. I also think the habit of attention is being ignored by dd, especially when she sings along and uses the wrong words on purpose. That’s just annoying to me.
Please keep the ideas coming, if you can. Believe it or not, I come to you ladies for advice before I go to my own friends!
~Lindsey
Lest you think we spend hours on our bedtime routine…our routine is only 30 minutes to an hour tops – including story time, singing time, Bible time and prayer time. This is after showers, pjs and teeth brushing which takes them 15 minutes or so.
By way of example, this was last night…My kids fold the laundry while my husband or I read whatever our book is – currently, Strawberry Girl (my kids love it when I turn on my deep southern accent). When I finish a chapter or 2, we stop for a Bible story or devotional or missionary story. Then we sing a few songs – last night was Amazing Grace, King David had an Army and This Little Light of Mine. Then we all took turns praying. Then it wa hugs and kisses all around and tucked into bed. All of this was about 35 minutes.
A mommy tape is a good old fashioned tape (I had to go to the family pathways / donation shop to find a tape player and radio shack to get tapes and yes they still sell them!).
It is a tape where I talk to my son (in this case) and tell him things I want him to know like.. bible verses and how we can “do them”, there name, address, phone number, birthday (remember he’s 3 so you do these based on there age), ABC’s and counting from 0-30. Also, I sing (ahh don’t laugh) some songs on there and I go through the leapster ABC song (the A says “a’, the A say’s “a” all the letters make a sounds the A says “a”) and so on. Let see what else is on there.. manners at the table, at church, saying please and thank you.. anyway you get the idea. It’s all the things I want him to know and some more above his age (never want to settle when you do this) and I praise him a lot for following along and doing it with me. I also remind him a lot that I love him.
It was silly doing the tape but he loves it and listens to it every night. He also now knows his birthday (date, month, year) and more than I probably would teach him daily. I love it and am in the look out for more tape players so I can get one going for my one year old daughter.
Misty
What a great idea, Misty!
I am definitely going to use everyone’s ideas to try to come up with a new routine we can all be excited about.
A question about devotionals: We read a chapter out of our Children’s Story Bible every morning. We also work on our scripture memory everyday. We read a missionary story (currently David Livingstone) every Monday morning, and a story out of Storytime With The Millers every Friday morning. Stuart Little is read throughout the week, but always in the mornings.
What do you all do as your devotional in the evenings?
~Lindsey
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