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Bedtime is driving me crazy!
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Every night now, I’d say for the past 6 mths., there’s been an increasing problem of chaos, playing, and getting up out of bed after bedtime. My two are 11 and almost 12.
Actually, it starts after supper time when they are in the hallway or bathroom, taking turns brushing teeth-they goof around, mess with each other and cut-up instead of just getting it done!!
Then come bedtime, they are still in that mode: my son says something to my dd; she sneaks in his room; he boldly walks into hers and takes stuff that she’s not supposed to be doing in bed, then she comes and tells me adn then he comes and tells me; he comes out to see what I’m watching on tv; she comes out and puts eye-drops in her eyes (she has chronically irritated eyes), etc.
It just seems like the playtime switch is still on (mainly dd) and the wanting to continue to talk and interact and mr. nosey is still going strong (DS). I’m so tired of yelling and I can’t seem to think of any consequences. Sending them to bed early doesn’t work, esp. in summer since there’s so much to do while it’s light and I’m late getting supper on. Consistantly taking away the radio is the only thing I can think up.
I just want to relax-I NEED my evenings to be quiet and alone!
Any suggestions for a better routine to become (re)established?
Typing while tummy is upset due to aggravation,
Rachel
Can they get ready for bed separately while you have an end-of-the-day conversation with the other one? Could be a great way to get some one-on-one time and build a stronger relationship.
Possibly; that’s a good idea. I’d have to figure out the logistics.
I am in the process of trying to keep them separated by changing up something: usually, I would have each of them take care of their own dishes after supper, but I noticed that they play around. So I decided to have my dd wash all the morning stuff (so he can go and brush his teeth and be in the hallway and get school supplies without her there) and then at suppertime, he does it and vice-versa.
I just haven’t gotten in the hang o fit yet, being that it’s new.
Thanks
Establish a good routine with cleaning/ bath regimen, hugs, kisses, a good read aloud together as a family or for them to read alone. Then let them know, without anger but as a matter of fact, that they WILL go to bed one hour earlier for 7 days if they are playing.
I tell my kids it’s the seven day rule. And if it takes an extra hour for seven days for them to get settled, then so be it! It’s their choice, an early bedtime or a nice, normal evening routine that we all can enjoy.
My kids are 13, 9, 6, 3. My 13 year old doesn’t do this, but I have two sweet older girls that sometimes don’t want their fun day to end.
Sorry, I don’t have any advice for you Rachel. This just sounds exactly like my kids, and they are 2, 3, 4 and 6! I guess kids of all ages don’t like bedtime. LOL
Oh, I do have an idea. Along the same lines as what simple home said but what about just doing nothing at night when they are messing around. Just let them continue to goof off and then the next day when they would like to be playing outside or watching tv or hangingo out with friends, you make them stay in their rooms for whatever length of time they were staying up goofing off the night before. They may think twice about doing the same thing that night. Or same thing but instead of going to their room (some kids like to be in their rooms) they have to do work around the house (extra chores) for that amount of time instead of doing what they want.
Hi, Rachel.
We have four boys in one bedroom on bunks and three girls in another bedroom. The talking and goofing around is rare if we have had family worship and read aloud. But if family time isn’t possible before bedtime, I allow them to have their personal audio book devices and books on their beds for a very quiet thirty minutes. If they start to have unnecessary conversations, they know that they will be removed from the room to sleep in isolation on a cot in the hall near the garage entry across the house (prepositional phrases for fun). I actually have one of the boys sentenced to a month of sleeping on this hard cot (Walmart for $50) due to his consistent disturbances. He is looking forward to having his bed again. Also, we use a timer to keep evening routines from taking too long and the bathroom available for each child to shower and dress.
Janell
Years ago I officially gave bedtime to my husband because I couldn’t deal with the craziness. And because he was the one that got them all wild and then handed them over to me. I know that’s not possible in your situation, Rachel, so here’s my modified idea. Every night he reads them a story while they’re laying in bed. If they are uber crazy or don’t get ready in time, they don’t get the story. There have been very few nights that they didn’t get the story because we always pick a really cool book for bedtime. Perhaps just reading 10 minutes (or a chapter) would still allow you some relaxing time after they’ve gone to bed. And if they continue to get out again after the story….no story the next night. Or TV or video games or whatever.
In addition to everything wonderful that has already been said, here are a couple of things to think about….
Are they going to bed too early? Maybe they are not tired.
Are they eating junky food? I know this winds my kids up like nothing else. I have one child who actually seems unable to control his behavior when he has artificial color in his food.
Other than stuff like that, it just sounds like a bad habit that’s been allowed to develop. How do I know this? Because we also have bad habits in our family that have been allowed to develop. It will take time, but you can redirect them and help them have a good habit regarding bedtime. You need to set a clear rule/consequence about bedtime and then follow through with it. It is worth the time and trouble!
We had to do this recently with another situation. My kids always – and I mean every single week- HAD to go to the bathroom during church. They couldn’t possibly wait until the service was over. Every week, I had three out of five kids who got up at some time during the service to go to the bathroom. It was driving me crazy. I finally told them that it was fine to go to the bathroom, but that I would be docking their allowance 25 cents for every trip. Amazingly, they haven’t gotten up to go to the bathroom once in the month since we implemented that rule/consequence. This is what good habit training can do.
I am repeating myself from another thread here, but you really should read Smooth and Easy Days if you haven’t already. It’s a free download here on SCM. It will help you see the importance of habit training and how beneficial it can be for your whole family. It’s a very quick read and well worth your time.
Have them read the Bible .. It still amazes me that the devil will put them to sleep. HE doesn’t want them to know about G-d! 🙂 tehe he
Blessings! 🙂
I would make sure all needs are taken care of before they are in bed (eye drops, water, restroom, ect..). Then tell them they are not allowed to get out of bed once in. In this house it is bed time, for children, right now. However, if they really want to be up they can be up
. They can go stand outside and be up. When they are ready to lay down inside they can come in.
. They can go stand outside and be up. When they are ready to lay down inside they can come in. Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
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