Autism, and CM style

Hi KK,

We also have a son 9yrs who has High Funtioning Autism. Thankfully we have no problems with aggression, but we have issues at times with anxiety, confusion and a myriad of sensitivities etc. 

Homeschooling has been the best change for our family and although we have a few exhausting days they are becoming fewer. Home has been a much more nurturing place for him to be. Working where he is at and modifying curriculum to suit his style at that time works for us.

Our current biggest issue is trying to keep our children from teasing each. aarrgghhh So I am about to read ‘Laying Down The Rails.

Our son is feircely loyal to family though. We recently were told that if he were to be assessed now for Autism that he would not be Aspergers as he shows empathy for others, communicates well (brilliantly verbal) and his confidence, sense of humor and comprehension has improved greatly. WOW This was not the case only 18months ago when he first came home from school. We found he was being relentlessly bullied not always physically but that insidious type that just crushes a child. He could not understand why others would treat him so badly, it was so foriegn to our family. Any way it has been God’s intervention in our lives that drives our day to day lives and thus the change in our sons life.

A certain amount of routine each week works as the concept of time and where he is in the world still alludes him. Routine works only when we include lovely surprise blessings in the week that our children like . For eg a swim in the middle of the day, games they love a snuggly story with a special hot chocolate with marshmallow etc (anything small that doesn’t cost that makes the day special)

Lots of games work with our son, for us they are worth a thousand worksheets.

Finding our sons special skills and interests so as to include this in our days has been important. Ds9 dislikes writing so we allow him to use the computer for typing (which is slow still). He likes to see how things work so we find old radio’s etc for him to dismantle and fiddle with it. He loves using the microscope, dad’s tools to make something (he just did a 4 day workshop on how to build a Billy cart). Keeping his LA, Math etc short and to the point works and doing things orally helps. Allowing him to have a space to construct things from recycled material and make little worlds and a mess helps keep him inventing and happy etc 

Lots of praise for the positive

When we started homeschooling we made a laminated dial that looked like a spedometre in a car. It had a pointer and would have a blue, green and red zones marked on it. If he wasn’t coping with something he would move the arrow to where he felt he was and we would work on doing something to get him back into the cool blue zone for eg deep breathing, walk, relaxing music . Sometimes I would ask him how he felt right after breakfast and he would say he was in the green zone (not upset but not quite at peace so we would do a subject or project that was enjoyable or wait to school later in the day.

CM methods work for us because of the short lessons, respect for child as a valuable person with their own special skills or leanings, quality literature, character/habit training and development, reliance on God and it’s gentle art of learning in all things.

For me there’s really no cure or fix but it comes down to relying on God daily and meeting my child where he is at. I am the adult and he is the child so I feel I have to be the one to change how I relate to him and that in turn will be a model for him.

Not easy being a parent, but I wouldn’t swap him for the world. I try to focus on his strengths as much as possible.

Sorry this is so long.

Blessings, Renelle

I have a son, 11yo w/ mild autism, who has always been homeschooled, along with his 10yo & 12yo sisters.  The diagnosis shown on his Multi-Factored Evaluation (needed to develop an IEP) states “mild autism,” and I’ve been meaning to ask (for almost 3 years now) if that is a different category than “high-functioning.”  I suspect it is not, and it doesn’t really matter to me as far as labels go.

I began taking him to a behavioral psychologist at the suggestion of a pediatrician (who, by the way, told me at age 3 or 4 that she didn’t think he ought to be tested for autism).  The psychologist told me to look up info on the net about autism, we decided to have him evaluated, and here we are.  He has had developmental delays and medical difficulties since birth, so it wasn’t so surprising.

I began homeschooling him as I did my daughter, although I waited a year later to start with him than the public schools would have suggested.  I knew he just wasn’t ready, what with slight speech delays and his perplexing behaviors.  (Wonder what would have happened if I had known what stimming behavior was back then?)  It was a struggle for me and somewhat frustrating for David, but we just pressed on with whatever he could do and took lots of breaks….sometimes rather long breaks!

Our family life was not going smoothly, as my husband and I have been living apart since 2006, and he has pretty much moved on with his life even though we have not divorced.  He was not accepting of our son’s diagnosis until recently.  I enrolled all 3 of my children in a public virtual academy in 2007, but it was not a perfect fit for us.  It did, however, lead to development of an IEP for David and offered speech and occupational therapies for him.  This fall, after stumbling upon something of Sonya’s (a blog? articles from this site?  Youtube demos of CM methods?  I don’t recall…), I began to read more and more about Charlotte Mason methods, discovered the wonderful SCM curriculum guide, and realized that a single mom with a nearly non-exsistent income could return to traditional homeschooling instead of holding “public school in the home.”

The short lessons, the read-alouds, the pouring of literature with rich language into my children (all of them–even the special needs child) were such appealing aspects.  They have made a big difference in our learning atmosphere, and I can sense even in these few months that my children have grown in many ways.  As Sonya said in her post, our learning sessions have not all been warm and cozy–not by a longshot!  But there have been an increasing number of read-alouds and history lessons on Mom’s big comfy bed, and even my son is adapting fairly well to the methods.  I consider the fact that he often asks me to sit right next to him on the couch when he reads to me from his readers as a “cozy session.”  For him, cozy often means “you sit next to me, but make sure there is about a 2-inch space between us.”

My son is verbal and has a good sense of humor, but he gets frustrated if something is a new and unexpected concept or if it is taking to long for him to grasp something.  Repeated errors (like forgetting math facts) can lead to a crying and fist-banging or head-banging meltdown.  Unfortunately, he is also physically aggressive at times.  I am in much prayer about that and am focusing attention on that over other things right now, especially since he is an 11yo with increasing strength, and I am a 51-year old, out-of-shape woman who doesn’t have the strength or energy to physically restrain him or carry him up to his room when he says, “Make me.”  He is slowly learning that if I say, “Go to your room for 10 minutes,” and he says, “Make me,” I will remain there with him until he willingly goes to his room, no matter how long the wait is.

We have good days (like the past week when he was the first one up and the first one done with schoolwork and chores for 3 whole days!), and we have struggle days (like today, when he decided that he didn’t want to watch the Super Bowl after all, so no one else ought to watch it….and he began throwing things at us.)  The Super Bowl incident is simply his not quite figuring out how to calmly tell me, “I’m bored, I’ve changed my mind about it, what can I do instead?”  After he went to his room, finally calmed down, and came down after 15 minutes, he was able to eat dinner and play quietly on the computer for awhile.  This all makes things tough for his sisters, but they are learning to cope with his behavior and are becoming much more independent regarding their schoolwork and chores.

Wow, this is longer than I expected!  I do have one question for those who have homeschooled children with autism for a bit.  We were receiving speech and occupational therapies paid for by the online school, so of course now we are not receiving those services.  Our health insurance does not cover these.  I cannot afford to pay for them myself.  How have any of you handled therapies that were recommended to you for your child?  There is an autism scholarship program that would pay for these things in our state, but it is funded by the state department of education and it is necessary to have an IEP written by our local school district, even though my son is not enrolled with them.  I began the process with the school district, but they removed speech and occupational therapies from his IEP and are disputing the need for them.  (A few conversations with David and a quick look at his handwriting should convince them otherwise, but they require “professional evaluation.”)  I would love to hear how any of you have approached recommended therapies while homeschooling.  It can’t be that only the well-to-do or those in public schools make progress in these areas.  (At least, that’s my hope and prayer, and I’m sticking to it!)

Blessings,

Sue

Some kids just need something to help them process better. My youngest loves to have a little toy animal in her hands. Movement also helps her process. My oldest (NT) loves to have music playing in the background when she works; I need silence. We’re all wired differently, so you might try allowing him to work quietly with his hands and see if his narration is better. But you may want to set the boundary from the first that if the legos start to become a distraction, they will need to be set aside during reading time. It might be a good opportunity to let him know that you two are going to be a team and together try to discover how his brain works best.