Are we all too busy for one another?

I have felt exactly the same way in the past. This year, as we are busier than we have been in years, I feel like I’m doing a disservice by not providing enough alone time. It’s a balance that seems difficult to find.

I’ll be praying for your trip and hope that the sights and sounds of Haiti and it’s people will give you some ideas that will help your situation. Please share what you learn.

I wish I could remember where I was reading it at, but someone was describing the way life with kids was years ago about families dropping in on other families and just hanging out together and helping with anything. We have certainly gotten away from that.

I am an only child and my biggest problem is when I need my mother’s help and she tells me she is too busy. She is retired and very social and “signed up” for many clubs and meetings, especially at the first of the month. So what I hear is “you are not as important as my social calendar”. ouch.

I have problems commiting to something too much in advance because you never know what may come up, especially with kids. And everyone else needs to have it scheduled in advance before they book up. We usually make new friends with whoever happens to be at the park whenever we happen to go.

This post is really capturing my heart as of late. My third, Lockhart, just had his first birthday on Sunday, and I was trying to do a family dinner, and there were multiple cancellations. Both my parents were away for different things, and so I suggested having them over in the week for dinner instead, and was told that it’s a really busy time because they’re doing a workout challenge, so they’re at the gym a lot. Sometimes I feel like when people are giving you their list of why they’re so busy, they’re truly giving you a list of all the things they find more important than you. It can be very hurtful.

I was reading a large family blog years ago (can’t remember which one), and someone asked the woman about how she can afford/manage logistics of putting ten different children in all the extra curriculars that seem like requirements these days. Her answer impressed on me so strongly. She said she really doesn’t like how kids these days are so booked up and busy, that they don’t have time to jump in with a neighbour in need or to be a mother’s helper to a new mom at church, or just be of service to each other! This is very much something I keep in mind when deciding whether to sign the children up for things. I want to be available and serviceable for my community and family.

Praying for you for your upcoming trip. Bless you,

Rachel

jmac you hit it on the head.  We try to keep our schedule a bit open, but when people say lets get together and then never do it’s so fustrating, especially for the children.

What happen to the days you could stop by someones home and they’d drop everything and invite you in for tea.  Now you’d knock and no one would be home. (except me)  My kids will even say things like, why can’t so and so ever get together, what are they doing that they are so busy, or just things like I wish so and so could come this time.

So sad isn’t it.  Why do we all tend to do more then we ‘need’ too?

Ohhh. flexing…I can’t…I mean I don’t know how! *L* It’s very, very hard for me. I actually talk myself through changes to my schedule. I have to say it out loud! I’ve learned to let my husband change my schedule (I talk it through, of course); I’m not so good at letting the kids change my schedule. I’m trying to, though. Nature study is helping that – running outside when they call me to look at something, for example.

One of our (my husband and my) problem’s is that it seems like we’re always the ones doing the inviting and the hosting. I mentioned before that we have company about 4-5 times per year (by “company” I’m meaning not our close family, but extended family or friends as company). So, that should mean that we ought to be company, right? But it’s so seldom that we get invited out.

I’m not sure why…I’m pretty sure we’re not totally weird! *L* Maybe it is the busy-ness thing; maybe it’s the potential hosts’ fear of not having a clean house or something….Although, I’ve stopped cleaning for company! I tidy up, swipe through the bathrooms and try to have the dishes washed – that’s all.

For us non-flexing types, I wonder if making a “Schedule” or something would help…one year I tried to have one friend over for a play date (mommy-time, with kids playing in the background) each month. I was surprised at how easy it was – but how quickly a month went by! And then I was so tempted to skip a month because I was in the middle of a project (very worthwile, but a project, none-the-less).

I find that interesting, RobinP, that you live a life that many would enjoy, you know, simpler, but you are no more available to guests or being guests because of your lifestyle. I guess if more families lived as you do, then maybe there would be more commonality, but I find those that we have things in common with socialize with us based on our interests.

We do most of our socializing through our “work” which is taking our kids to sports games/practice, co-op classes, the library, the park (my dh meets so many people at the park and often invites them to church), our community service opportunities, field trips, etc.  We have regular time with our church family to socialize, break bread, and serve the elderly as needed.  And we live a very busy life, but take the opportunities we have to spend it with others…and then sometimes it’s just time spent with our own family.

Interesting thread..love to read about all of our different lives and how we’re just doing our best.