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Anyone else overwhelmed?
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Sometimes I get like this. My 3 yo needs more attention than I can give her. The house needs more attention than I can give it. The meals, the schooling, the kids’ hearts, the driving to other activities, the laundry…it all gets a part of me and none of it gets as much as it needs.
I’m only one person and it all takes the work of an army…
I know there is no rememedy…no magical formula that makes it all go away. Every book/article I read says that, as a homeschooling family, your house will just be messier. I’m just not okay with that! I don’t function well in clutter…and neither does the rest of my family. Anyone else feel this way? Or am I the only one whose blood pressure goes up when things aren’t in their place? And I’m not incredibly Typa A…I am fairly laid back. But with us all home and the papers and the books and the toys and the laundry…AHHHH!!!!
I just wanted to vent for a moment. Not sure why or if it helps. lol I feel like I’m drowning and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it except tread water until I faint…
I hear ya’ sister! Some things to think about….it’s okay to take a day off and teach life skills. Like clean your room before I explode. Or let’s all fold laundry and watch Bill Nye – see, science AND home ec! Build chores into your school schedule. Little bits of consistent work are easier than large chunks of crazy.
I’ve never been successful with FlyLady but she has some ideas for homeschoolers. There are lots of schedules out there if you’re looking for help organizing.
Things have improved since we got rid of a ton of toys and clothes and some books. And having a place for everything makes it easier for kids to help clean.
My husband always tells me to be kind to myself. He reminds me that I’m working 2 full-time jobs – I’m a teacher for 4 to 8 hours a day (some days more because learning happens all the time) and I’m a homemaker/mother. Those both take HUGE amounts of time.
I totally understand where you’re coming from though. Take some deep breaths. You can do this. The good days far outweigh the bad, but when you’re in the bad it sure doesn’t look like it!
Ok,
I do feel that way today! yep! I sure do. as a matter of fact I felt that way yeasterday too.I have a whole closet full of stuff all over my daughters room. Now I thought I would take my scrapbooking stuff and put it in my room. Since most of my scrapbooking/sewing stuff is in my bedroom. Ok, so now my room which was somewhat clean is now starting to over whelm me. I am glad I am cleaning it out. I am now overwhelmed. I probably shouldn’t have tackled this project but it needs to be done.
On the good side my husband did put the lock on the closet door. He also planed it so it would shut properly….
Yippee! So, even if I am off track a little things are progressing…
Bad news is……… My sister and her family are coming tomorrow to visit.
Now I am feeling really overwhelmed…. I have to get the closet back in order. Get rid of all the stuff that I don’t have boxes for or room because it was neatly in the closet. So I am about 4 days behind and this wasn’t the plan. Ok, I am going to make a dent in this if it kills me!
Oh, and to top it all off it suppose to be done all before tomorrow because the kids are looking forward to going to the Library. We were suppose to go Wed. but because of the snow storm we put it off… UGH!!!!!
I am feeling VERY overwhelmed…!!!! I came down to have some lunch and take a breather. So I just had to laugh when I saw this post..LOL
Now that the closet is totally empty it is time to go back up to the dungeon and finish this task. Pray for me PLZ… I think I might get lost up there and never find my way out….
BTW….. School is out until further notice 🙂
I, too, get overwhelmed with clutter. But I have noticed lately that even with the house cleared and cleaned, those anxious “I must stop everything and get my life in order now” feelings are still hanging around. So, I concluded that I am a perfectionist. And being a perfectionist is different than being a high achiever/producer. There have been many days where we have put off important things because something like the perfect laundry system has to be designed to solve all of my laundry problems until my dying days. Of course we take school off to clean the house…and realize that school and housework both didn’t get done.
Then all of a sudden I just jumped on a schedule…You know, that schedule that I was procrastinating on starting until my ENTIRE life was organized first. Well, the basic time block/schedule reminds me to get to those everyday important things (even when Mt. Washmore looms in the same room) and “just keep swimming.” Just doing the next thing keeps my anxiety down and things afloat.
And cleaning (the basics here) on a schedule helps me to focus on the immediate needs without making the clutter/clean project everything. There is a balance needed which I find when on a schedule. When I can’t get to something due to interruptions, I have confidence that we will get to it the next time around.
I recommend Elisabeth Elliot’s devotional Keep a Quiet Heart because she blessed me with “just do the next thing.”
“Just keep swimming…”
Yep, I’m with you. I’ve cancelled school for the morning and am spending the time cleaning out the craft/games/puzzles/school materials shelves. It was just getting to be too much. We couldn’t move smoothly from one activity to another, because we couldn’t get things put away and the next things out easily. I find I have to do this every few months.
Upstairs, the chairs are all in the front entryway where I left them after sweeping the floor. I got interrupted by somebody needing something, and didn’t ever get back to mop and put the chairs back. But I didn’t remember until I was well into this project, and I don’t dare leave everything out to go finish the first job, because the kids will discover things while I’m gone and who knows what it will look like then. Hopefully I don’t have any surprise visitors today. LOL A few weeks ago someone from Child and Family services showed up to do a surprise inspection of my registered dayhome. At least I know that won’t happen again soon!
And don’t even ask about the laundry that is waiting to be folded, etc. etc.
Sometimes I feel like I have it all together and the routines are working and I’m on top of things. It usually lasts for about 3 days, until something throws the routine off and then I’m hooped.
I just keep plugging away, knowing that as long as we are fed, clothed, and happy, that the rest can catch up later. Otherwise I’ll go nuts.
Joanne
Yep! I know exactly how you feel! I’ve been homeschooling now for almost 4 years (seems like forever!), and over the years I have gotten better about things in general. It helps me to have a scheduled routine rather than one or the other. I tried FlyLady, and for a couple years, it really, really helped. I will say, it’s a great place to start and to start learning some new habits. Though I don’t use her anymore (my family dynamic has changed and I have grown as a person to the point that I needed to better fit my schedule to our family), I am so glad I started with her. I am not a person to mind clutter, either – or at least I wasn’t…. Now I am! Lately I have been demanding “perfection” from the kids when they pick up the house.
Like crazy4boys, we got rid of tons of toys and other clutter. You should see me around here – I’m forever finding more to get rid of. 😛 Poor kids and hubby…. We have a toy check-out system for those kids old enough to use it (there are some threads about that if you want to check those out). If the kids don’t pick up like they’re supposed to, anything left out goes in a box. We’ve “gotten rid of” tons of toys from just that! (They’re currently in the garage – sometime soon when they are not around and it’s just me or just me and dh, I’m going to sort through and actually take some of them to Goodwill and the rest put back nicely and neatly again in their room.) My schedule now includes time for school, devotions, read-alouds, chores, play time, and the extracurriculars. The nice thing is, I took reality into account when I made them. I schedule very little on the weekends or in the evenings because when hubby is home, let’s face it – nothing gets done! LOL It does feel busy on paper, but when we get it going and get into the routine, I have free time to do stuff on my own during the day (while listening to the crazies go on around me), plus I have time to just “be” with the kids and hubby. I even scheduled in “hubby and me” time in the evenings, every single day, after the kids are all into bed. Sure, sometimes it’s not at exactly 9pm, but it’s pretty close most nights, and we have an hour to either just enjoy being in the same room together, or watch TV/movie, or sit and talk, or whatever. After that we have a half-hour to read before bed, or just talk or whatever.
My schedule won’t look like yours, so please don’t try to copy mine! 🙂 But I hope this gives you some ideas for how to get out of that rut. I felt like you do for such a long time until I had my aha moment with scheduled routines.
I would actually love to see some examples of schedules. While each family dynamic is different, I think it helps you to see how you can plan for your needs. So often we see schedules for school but no housework, or housework but no school….the reality is we do both! So send those schedules on over, ladies!!!
I know a lot of it (at least for me) is habit training. I need better habits and I need to teach the kids better habits. Better go crack open my Laying Down the Rails. Any other suggestions for developing good housekeeping habits?
Thanks ladies! Glad to hear I am not alone. Janell, I laughed out loud when I read about you stopping school so you could implement a perfect landry system. That sounds somuch like me!! lol! Also, I’m going to look at the book you recommended…a quiet heart is EXACTLY what I am in need of right now…
And yes! Routines are helpful…lately ours has been sporadic (as I throw it to the wind to, ahem, get everything “right” again.)
Thanks for the reminders and encouragement. 🙂
I am not the original poster but goodness, did I need this tonight! I was a monster to my kids today….I mean a total monster! It seems like every 5 minutes the school room and their room are awful. We can never find specific things when we need them. My 9 year old daughter is super bad about using something, like craft supplies, scissors, sharpener, etc. and not putting them back where they go. So, when we go to use them we have to stop school and go on a hunt. They NEVER put things back where they belong. And they want to keep EVERYTHING! When I am about to explode, they say they are trying but they just forget. My husband and I have decided that they have too much stuff. So, this Saturday he is going to help my FIL with some yard work and he is taking the kids with him. I, on the other hand, am going to be going through every single item in the two rooms and doing some serious purging and this will, I’m sure, include items that they think they cannot live without. Am I being too harsh? I hate having to be so drastic but things have got to change. They really are great kids and they help with chores a lot so I really hate to always be on them about this. Our house is very small so we can’t exactly have a ton of stuff in it. So, if they are having trouble keeping all their belongings picked up then we think they have too many!
I know this is a little off what 3littlegirls was overwhelmed about but I wanted to say, yes, I am overwhelmed today also! Some days like today I just need a LONG hot bubble bath with a good book and about 3 hours to myself…….oh, and a maid! 🙂
crazy4boys, and anyone else, if you really want to see my schedule, PM me. I don’t like giving out schedules because my schedule will only work for me. However, others’ schedules *can* be helpful for sparking an aha moment to create your own. 🙂
Not even sure ours is written down anymore, to be honest, it’s just become habit now. Or maybe I’ve just memorized the times and the routines have become the habits? 🙂 And honestly, as the kids get older, I may have to tweak it, and I have at times (3 times this school year so far – do you think this will be a record-breaking year? HA!). But the base stays as much the same as possible – if that makes sense?
Crazy4boys,
Ok here is some of my schedule….
7am–Self/ time with G-d. Personal reading if I get up earlier 1st Load of laundry/ dishes in. 7:30– Monday-Shower/ Tues–Exercise… Everyother day Except Saturday 8:00– Kids get up, dressed, make beds I put second load of laundry in 8:30– Boys to feed outdoor animals- Daughter feeds and waters dogs/ picks up under table. 9:00–Breakfast, After younger son(8) clears table, older son(10) wipes the table down Daughter(5) Dries Table 9:30–Read memory verse, Tues.virtue study, Wed. Plants Grown Up, Thurs. Bible, Friday Bible 10:00– Mon=History Gen-Deut. & Maps, Tues-Read Science Nature reader, Wed= History Gen-Deut. Homeschool in the Woods Lapbook, timeline,ect. Thur.=Reading Science . Quiz to see if they are retaining. 🙂
10:30–Mon-Thur. Spelling for boys. Daughter practices phonics and Reading 11:00– MOrning Chores and Break= Monday and Thurs. is a Zone Cleaning Day.(there is a schedule for this too.) 11:30– Mon, Wed. Thur. Math U See. Tues. Reading Power/Vocab, Grammar , Friday= Computer I make lunch
12:00– Lunch 12:30– Clean-up and free time till 1:00 (This encourages them to hurry and clean-up table so they can go out.) 1:00–Mon. Grammar, Tues. Daughter Reading, Wed. Boys Typing/Daughter Math, Thur. Art/Artist Study.Scientist 1:30–Mon.Zone Clean, Tues.=Music Study, Wed.=Foreign Language, Thur. Zone Clean 2:00–Afternoon Chores, / Finish School Work and a Break when finished 2:30– I check chores and try to finish up my chores or take a break. 🙂 3:00– Snack Time 3:30– Nature Study / Outside Break 4:30– Feed and Water outdoor animals I start dinner 5:00- Kids baths, and Free Reads time 6:00– Dinner 7z;00–Dinner, Clean-up, Ready for bed, Pick up bedroom 8:00– Bedtime and book read
9:00– Mom and Dad time… 🙂 Left over laundry / Dishes if I feel spunky
Friday is Library/Field Trip Day if everything on this schedule,and not on the schedule, gets done. LOL..
Sunday– Must get hubbies clothes washed for the week. Kids curriculm ready and everything else done that awaits that adds to the never ending list of things to do….. 🙂 This is why I don’t have time…. LOL…
And I am crazy to want to clean out a closet…:) Oh, and by the way my sister called and praise G-d her vehicles altanator went out and she won’t be able to make it. … I really wanted to see her but I am really glad it is next weekend. Tehe he… I will have the rest of the weekend to clean the upstairs.
BTW… Some things do get switched around due to visitors, extras in our schedule, spur of the moment learning lessons ect… (Like this week my son decided to do a study on the Presidents of the U.S.) (Not planned) He read what he learned. I take it with a grain of salt and use this as a tool not a regimen that has to be so strict that I seem stuffy… I just look at the clock and say… “Kids we are on a rabbit trail” if I want to bring it back to our lesson and it is trailing to far off. We did spend extra time on the President thing because It is History and he was learning and Hey he really came up with a great living book that we all found really interesting. 🙂
HOpe this helped… 🙂
Oh, I had that schedule typed out nice and neat. It didn’t look anything like it does.. sorry it is all messed up when I hit the Send post button… ???? sorry for typos…
Britney – Get rid of the stuff!!!! You’ll feel so much better and after they cry for a while they’ll be happier because 1) it’s easier for them to clean; 2) they will be able to play more because they can find their things; 3) you won’t be fighting with them/nagging all the time. My boys cried a lot the first time we purged but after a while they told me how much better it was and now they even volunteer to get rid of things. We go through our stuff every 4 months or so and they are getting really good about getting rid of ‘junk’.
Thanks for the schedule Chocodog.
My husband has a story he always tells me, similar to “just keep swimming”. When he cleaned carpets for a living his boss always said, “You’re only making money when the machine is actually working. Keep the wand moving.” So we try to keep the wand moving….do the next thing. But I DO like to stop and try to create the best system ever. I think I’ve done that about 400 times, give or take a few. I’m glad I’m not alone. And I hope we can all find peace with our lives and a way to make our days run more smoothly and efficiently. Peace to you all tonight!
Crazy4boys,
I love looking at others schedules too. It helps me see where or if I am missing something. It seems that I just needed to list all of my school work goals, house work goals, personal goals, and family goals, I had to eliminate things that can’t fit. That is how I worked out my schedule. I figured how much time we spend for Animals, food/food prep. Chores,ect. what times we needed to do them and then I filled in my school schedule in for the mornings and more chore stuff in the afternoons. It was amazing how fast it filled up and I didn’t have any time for anything extra. I can’t imagine doing extra things. I struggle to “Keep the wand moving with what I have”
This is why I feel overwhelmed at times. And I have alot of help from my kids. 🙂
Well, of course if we plan an outing for Sunday. I didn’t put that on the schedule either Because sometimes I just want to take it easy on the weekend.
Blessings everyone!
Ever heard of Motivated Moms? I used it for awhile and liked it. You can get a lot done if you follow it to a tee. But what I really learned from using it was how and what daily jobs to delegate to my kids. It’s created an atmosphere of general cleanliness most of the time. It’s cheap, and they even have an app. I have four kids ranging from 10 to 4. I still do most of the “big” jobs, but I’m not bogged down by all the small stuff anymore. I incorporated chores into their schedules and even have an “extra jobs” list for them to earn a little bit of money. It’s working really well. I will say that we have a 2-story house and upstairs is not always clean. Downstairs, where we spend most our time, is tidied probably 2-3 times a day. I’ve had to let go of a lot of expectations, but I’m like you in that I NEED an orderly atmosphere during school. Sometimes we do “room rescues” where we spend 5 minutes cleaning a room together. I hope you find a method in the madness!
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