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Adoption
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I’m not sure how many on here have adopted children, but I’d love to hear your stories & about your children. As far as the adoption process goes, is it long and painful or quite simple? Is it difficult to adopt a baby (1 year or younger)? How about the cost, is it as expensive as I’ve heard? Or is there a less expensive route to take? Thanks for sharing! ~ Heather
We’ve been home with our 6yo Chinese son for almost a year! Jan. 18 is our first “gotcha day.”
For us, it was a 4 year, $30,000 process. We started out applying for a baby girl, but the wait became so long and our youngest son was getting older. I also have a 20yos and I did not want to be raising three only children. We found out about this little boy, who was born with a cleft lip/palate and asked if we could be considered for him. They called back the next day and said we’d been approved!! Now I have a 7yos and our Chinese son who will be 7 in Feb. They are very close and it has been a wonderful experience. It’s like he’s always been here.I would think a domestic adoption would be less expensive, although I don’t know. We never looked into it because we felt drawn to China. A family in our church did a pre-birth adoption about the same time that we left for China. It all happened very quickly for them. The girl’s doctor, who was an acquaintance of our friends, and said this girl wanted to put her baby up for adoption…were they interested? They said absolutely, met the girl, was there at the hospital, etc. Their little boy just turn a year old. Another friend called last week because her daughter and sil had had a similar experience. The baby is due in March.
Pray about. God has the child He has chosen for you and will provide everything you need (including money.)
Blessings…
Hi. We adopted our son nearly 8 years ago (February) – domestic infant adoption. We met his first-mom twice before the birth and spent time with her in the hospital (though not present for the birth). When it was time for them to be released, we checked him out of the hospital after saying goodbye to his first-mom. It happened rather quickly for us. We completed our paperwork and profile in October and were chosen in November. Because she was still early in her pregnancy, the agency waited until December, though, before they told us. Then he was born in February. It felt like a whirlwind. I don’t think that is typical. Costs for the adoption were around $10,000. It had been our plan to adopt again in a few years. But the Army has prevented us from accomplishing that due to moves and deployment. But we are almost done with the Army, and hope to try again in the next couple of years. DH will have to find employment first . . . But before the deployment we had looked into foster to adopt. I believe that is MUCH less expensive. However, it certainly has its own issues. I believe that if God calls us to that He will also equip us to handle those issues. As Robin said, pray, pray, pray. It is a high calling. 🙂
We did an international adoption from Russia. It took us 9 months start to finish, but it was a grueling process. It cost over $35,000. We will never adopt internationally again….unless the Lord specifically directs us, like he did for this son. We adopted him when he was 2 1/2 and our first son was 2. They’re both 10 now. The first 2 years were awful, but now you’d never know he didn’t start out with us! He even looks just like us.
Most domestic adoptions are cheaper. If you go through the foster system it’s the cost of a home study (a few hundred dollars) and I think that’s about it. There is usually a 6 month wait-to-adopt period where the child lives with you, but you can’t adopt yet. And if they come from the foster system you get the monthly payments even after you adopted them, until they turn 18.
My parents adopted a 13-year-old boy the same time we were adopting our son. They had him in the home sooner, but we were legally done first. My sister adopted a newborn, but went through our church adoption system so the fee was lower than it would have been otherwise. I know the waiting period for newborns (up to age 1) is usually very long. One of my friends has been waiting over 6 years.
For all the pain we went through to get him here and help him adjust, there has been much joy. We will most likely adopt again once our “first batch of kids” are a bit older. We’re hoping to bring in sibling groups, but we’ll see how things go!
Heather
I’ll be watching this thread with interest! We are expecting No. 3 in July but are hoping to adopt down the road, as well. (Probably internationally.)
CSMAMMA
I found your post this a.m. and typed a long reply about our 4 domestic foster adoptions. However my sensitive computer ate my reply . So I was wondering if you wanted to email me and then I could give your my phone # and would call you to tell you our experience and some good info in general… let me know and I will send the email…
KK
Hi Heather–
I think I am unique among us — we’ve adopted SIX! Didn’t start out this way, but God obviously had different plans for us, as we only wanted to adopt a girl because we already had two boys. Anyway, we went thru the foster care system (there are SO MANY children in Texas). About the time we were matched with a girl, my nephew (for many reasons) was giving up by my sister-in-law, and we fought for him instead. When we finally became eligible to adopt again, we were given an update on the first girl we were originally matched with, asked if we still wanted her, we said yes BUT, were thrown for a loop when we were told she had a younger brother that had to be placed with her. Of course, we took them both. We went from two children to five within 6 months!
Several years ago we were approached about becoming foster parents rather than adoptive parents (great need here in Texas) so we started fostering. Our first placement was a little boy, 15 months old, who was returned to bio-mom at age 27 months. Two months later, he came back into foster care with baby sister attached. We were asked if wanted to adopt, of course said yes, so our already rambunctious home went from 5 kids to 7. At that time, we were fostering a baby boy (I’d had older siblings in the past) who was placed in our home at 10 days old, then returned to parents at 9 months old. Almost six months later, he was returned to our home for severe neglect. (For reasons only God knows, the mother decided not to feed him and he was seriously malnutrioned). Long story short, we ended up taking on bio-dad for custody (after a year and a half longer of him not lifing a finger to fight for his son, he decided he wanted him). Anyway, we were awarded permanent custody last August and and we adopted last December. So, the total in our home is EIGHT!
When my husband and I were married, we were not believers, and we had decided to only have two children. We took “precautions” to ensure we would never had more than 2 children. God, on the other hand, had other plans for us. Oh, and none of these adoptions cost us any money because the state of Texas reimburses for adoptions. We did have to pay $800 for my youngest son, but that was because our lawyer, after EIGHT months of fighting in court for us, handled our case pro-bono and asked us just to pay the court fees. Truly, another blessing from GOD!
So, I gave you an entire story, and my main point was to say….God will make a way, when it’s something He has purposed. I don’t know where you’re from, but truly, Texas has a great need for foster and adoptive parents. Maybe you could check into it?
~~ Angie
There are so many options for adoption out there! And lots of help as well. We have a dd who was adopted from Guatemala as an infant and are waiting for Jan 3 to hear if we were accepted for a little girl from Korea with some health needs. We also have 2 biological, one with severe special needs. My advice, in addition to all the praying of course, would be to contact and google local adoption agencies and ask to talk to as many families as you can. You will most likely be required to start by attending an information meeting to give you all the options and to ask questions. You can go even if you do not pursue adoption, they are just for people to gather info. Most adoptive families are willing to tell the amazing stories of God’s work in the lives of children. Not sure which state you are in but two agencies we have respect for are Bethany Christian Services and All God’s Children International, both have very informativce websites. There are also federal and state tax incentives that are helpful. The costs can be very high, the wait can be very long, and the emotional toll on you and your family very great. But it is worth every dollar, minute, and tear. I have never seen the evidence of God’s perfect timing in anything as greatly as I have adoption. My babies had to be conceived at the right time, had an adoption plan through my agency, and been on the list of children at the exact moment my name was on the list of parents. We had to decide to adopt, fill out our paperwork, courts had to approve things, things needed to be translated, more agencies had to get involved, the list goes on forever. All to have the miracle of my daughter. I would do it again in a heartbeat if my husband would ever go for it! Just talk to as many people as you can and know that with adoption, things are very unpedictable and can change at any time. If you are aware of that and still feel called to go ahead, you will be blessed in ways you now can only imagine. God bless you in this amazing journey!
One more thing I wanted to add, advice I got from a wonderful Godly friend that applies here. Sometimes God is not asking us to do the scary thing (in this case adoption). Sometimes He may just want to see if we are willing to follow Him and do what He asks even if it seems impossible. God never intended for Abraham to sacrifice Isaac but Abraham was willing to do it even though it seemed insane. Before we were selected as parents for our first adopted daughter, we received information on 13 year old twin girls. I just had this very strong feeling that I thought was God saying adopt these girls. I thought He was nuts. I told my girlfriend and that is when she said, maybe God is not asking you to be the mother of these particular girls, but He is asking you to trust Him if He were to ask you something so crazy. So I made the call to see if the girls were still available but they had already been adopted. My girlfriend said, see, you were not being asked to adopt those girls, just to trust God enough to do what He is asking. That really stuck with me. God has asked some crazy things of me, and they have all proven well worth it. But I do find there are times when He is just asking me to trust Him more than my logical human mind. Maybe God is asking you to adopt. Maybe He is asking you to look into it as an act of faith. Whichever one it is, enjoy the journey, the scary stuff keeps us so much closer to Him, so much more humble, and so much more where He wants us to live every day. Okay, God bless again!
Okay, Igeurink and others, I’m in tears as I read your posts. Hmmm…could God be trying to tell me something. We’re in GR, MI; Today, I put in a call to Bethany Christian services to request an info packet and reserve a spot in their January orientation meeting. KK, I may take you up on the phone call offer, I’m sorry you lost all of your reply. We’ll continue to pray..this is no small thing. Thank you so much dear ladies. Please feel free to share more, I’m all ears….
Grateful in Him,
Heather
We went through Bethany and had a wonderful experience. I wish you the best as you take this step. You’re right…it IS no small thing. I’m praying God will open and close doors to bring you His will.
Csmamma, I’m also in Michigan and have heard good things about them. I believe one of the moms in my MOPS group adopted her son from Guatemala through them.
Do any of you know how difficult the process of adopting from India? In my research so far, it seems that it may be nearly impossible, as AllGodsChildren, etc. state they are not accepting new applicants for India due to current strict policies of the country. Thanks for any insight.
This site is usually a good source of information on various countries: http://adoption.state.gov/country/india.html.
HTH,
Dana
For us, it was a 4 year, $30,000 process. We started out applying for a baby girl, but the wait became so long and our youngest son was getting older. I also have a 20yos and I did not want to be raising three only children. We found out about this little boy, who was born with a cleft lip/palate and asked if we could be considered for him. They called back the next day and said we’d been approved!! Now I have a 7yos and our Chinese son who will be 7 in Feb. They are very close and it has been a wonderful experience. It’s like he’s always been here.
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