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7yo boy's attitude about work
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My dh and I don’t know what to do about our 7yo’s (will be 8 in Feb.) attitude toward work and helping. When it’s his idea to help, he’s gung-ho. But when I ask him to do something (like right now, he’s wiping baseboards), his attitude is awful. If I’m cooking and he comes in the kitchen asking to help me, I’ll usually be able to find something for him to do, and he does it with joy. But, earlier when I asked him to help me with the baseboards, his countenance totally changed, and he actually said, “Mommy, I just don’t like working.”
He had privileges taken away last week for three days because of his less-than-cheerful attitude regarding working and helping around the house. We just gave two of those privileges back yesterday morning, and it seems he hasn’t learned his lesson. So, the privileges have been revoked again. Also, I have told him that I’ll be finding lots more for him to help with today so that he can get plenty of practice working with a joyful attitude.
The goal is to instill a desire in him to help out willingly and cheerfully with best effort. Obviously we don’t want him marrying and being a lazy husband who won’t provide for his family or help his wife with their home. My husband sets a wonderful example for ds, as he is always helping me cook, wash dishes, mop, etc. So, I can’t say that ds doesn’t have a good model to follow.
How do we get on the right track toward our goal for our son?
Blessings,
Lindsey
My daughter is 8 years old and we are facing the same challenge. She does not want to do any “hard work” for school or home. It was at the point yesterday I was so ready to place her back into public school…yes, it was THAT kind of day with her. My 11 year old son is all about getting his work done so he can have his free time in the afternoons. My daughter could care less about anything unless it is her idea.
When I asked our co-op moms for some advice, they all said they experienced the same thing at this age range (7 to 8 years of age) and the next year it was a blessing. It was a relief to hear that so now I am so ready for this year to be over LOL
Glad to know I’m not alone! However, I will say that his attitude during school is wonderful. He never shirks or complains about his school work. Just chores and things that I ask him to help with around the house. Sigh…
I agree that it is mostly an age thing… My son, now 8, is starting to grow out of it (still has days…) – and my daughter (turning 6) seems to be starting to grow into the problem (she is still wanting to help lots – but is now starting to complain when I ask her to help….)
When I asked other mom’s, I got that this is very common at this age from lots of moms. (Also with boys, an increase in anger in general seems common at about age 7-8)
So I’d say – continue to work with him on his attitude – but at the same time, know that it is extremely common at this age, and is not an indication of how he will be as an adult! (That said – don’t give in to his complaints etc… don’t want to teach him to get out of work that way)
We just had a good, long talk. I tried to explain it in a way that he understands by using Daddy as his example. I also told him for the millionth time that every choice has a consequence. When he chooses to have a good attitude, work hard, and do his best, he will not only get the job done faster, but he will also be able to stand back and take pride in his work when it’s done. But, if he chooses to have a stinky attitude, give half an effort, and complain, he will have more work to do later and nothing to be proud of.
It is comforting to know that this is common at this age, but at the same time, it’s my kid, you know? I’m not changing my standard for him to be a responsible, hard-working young man, and I don’t feel like our expectations of him right now are unreachable. He has been wiping baseboards since he was five, and he’s never liked it; but that doesn’t mean that baseboards don’t need wiping anyway. We all have to do things that we don’t want to or don’t like because that’s just LIFE. I even explained to him that sometimes I don’t want to get into the kitchen for the fourth time in one day and make another meal so that we’ll have supper that evening, but I do it anyway because I love my family and I want to put their needs and wants above my own.
This isn’t the only area of our son’s life that we’ve observed selfishness. But ending it has to start somewhere, so it might as well be with his attitude and laziness.
We are staying very calm about this. No spanking, yelling, or anger has been involved in handling our son so far. We are trying to be very respectful with him while at the same time making it clear that he has choices and every choice has its consequences. He has to live with whatever choice he makes, and hopefully that will teach him to be wiser next time.
I was just hoping there was something we could do or say to help him understand that we’re not letting up on this one or giving in to his attitude or complaints; it’s only going to be worse for him if he continues to choose this path.
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