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2nd grader that wants to play
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Hi ladies, we have been doing CM with out 2nd grader now since the beginning. He is 8 in 2mo. He is a very imaginative character that wants to play and imagine with his toys. He can do that all day. He whines and complains about anything work and schoolwork. He only learns because I threaten him like the schoolboard will get us in trouble or we aren’t going to a park today etc. Then he learns but only to get it done. All I hear is I hate math, I hate China -all they do there is walk around and do stuff I don’t care about, I hate Greeks (scm history, except for Alexander the great and his horse), I hate drawing, I hate writing, I hate chores and on and on. He does like audio books and can sit and listen for hours but in anything where he has to apply himself in he hates. He does like dinosaurs and dragons. He knows everything about them. He is very active also and loud. He loves rewards and I occasionally do that to motivate him but the issue is that he only does that thing for a reward and not because he just enjoys it. He is clumsy and all over the place because he tries to rush in all things instead of taking his Time and enjoying it. I love this little guy and want the best for him but it can be so discouraging when he acts this way and our homeschooling day looks like me pressuring him to get it done and him complaining and rebelling. Any suggestions will help. Thanks ladies.
My oldest was a bit like that. He is 14 now and still hates school, but does what he needs to with a good attitude and good effort. I am certainly no expert, but I would encourage you to pull back a bit if you can. Most kids, especially boys I think, would rather play than do any “work”, but he may just not be ready. 8 is still so young. I would do only the subjects your state requires and wait on the others. A lot of things can be done very informally. Could you do shorter lessons, math can be very informal and hands on versus workbook, at that level you really dont need a curriculum. I would definately teach reading and writing. Just copywork. Even one or two words with best effort and he is done. If it isnt his best effort he can do it again. He will soon learn his best effort is actually quicker than rushing through and re doing the task. He could even pick his copywork from a book you are reading together. My 3rd grader has been copying from Pinocchio because he loves the book so much. I would set aside the history for now and just read about people and events from interesting books, I wouldnt even bother with trying to be chronological or methodical. He will be introduced to interesting things and they will fall into place later. If he loves dinosaurs I would focus on that for science. I know with ky oldest I felt like I had to be doing all this “school”, but in retrospect I wish more of our learning had come from snuggling up with good books. My 3rd grader has about 30 minutes of “tablework” a day, that includes reading to me, math, and copywork. The rest of his “school” day is sitting with the family for enrichment studies or me reading aloud to him. If he were the oldest school would be over in 2 hours for sure. I hope that helps a little.
Speaking as the mom of a boy who is similar in age (just turned 8 on Monday) and playfulness, I’ve got to say, a lot of our problems we used to have with school stemmed from me trying to push him too hard in school work. At this age I think it’s important to really encourage a love of learning instead of crossing things off a checklist.
That sounds VERY much like my daughter (8,5 years). I had to smile when reading your post. First of all, I believe that this behaviour is healthy at this age. I know how difficult it can be and I get stressed, too. But it’s certainly more my problem than the child’s. I haven’t done formal homeschooling yet so far. My dd went to school (in Malta) for a few months and didn’t like it at all. She felt super trapped. She loved the kids and the teachers and even (the very stiff and conventional) work but she was so bored. Now we live in Australia and I have been sort of unschooling her so far. I’m just trying to get started now and it’s all a bit over my mind.. ‘Deep inside’ 🙂 I have peace though, I can see how she knows what she needs and wants and how ‘unspoilt’ and authentic she still is. I really want to keep this up. She, too, loves listening to audio books and could do it for hours and hours without a break. She loves running around and playing outside. Being ourdoors alot and reading book after book is what I have put into practice so far and I totally believe it’s the best ever. I have the extact same questions as you have so I’m not sure if I have answers but I would suggest that you try to find peace within yourself and take it slow. As suggested Crystal I would do very short lessons and very few of them and expect few AND yes, foster a love for learning rather than ticking of the list, which really spoke to me! I would still try to spend much time outside doing whatever is practical.
My question is also: How do you deal with a child who is passionate about something and just wants to do this very thing showing little interest for anything else (at the time)? Is it ok if the child (for instance) uninterruptedly listens to an audio book for 4 or so hours? Do you allow him or her to do so? My dd could spend her days listening to audio books for hours and wouldn’t want to do anything else (she even forgets to eat and dreams about the stories and spins them further in her mind..), I find that very fascinating but it scares me a bit to be honest. How do you deal with this? (I believe it’s very healthy and a great child-unique capacity to be fully absorbed..)
This is a great question. My 7 year old is very much like this. While I haven’t found perfection, I have found some things to be helpful.
It’s one of my highest homeschooling goals to guide my kids into LOVING learning. Feelings of fear have pounced on me in those moments when my daughter says “I don’t like school” or “ughhh do we have to do this?” But it’s just that, fear.
I think that if they are in a spot of not being motivated, starting in a place where they have ANY motivation is good. So if he is interested in Alexander the great, or whatever, start there. It may be that he needs to retrain his brain on what “school” is, and that learning can be fun and interesting. I would definitely capitalize on that. And perhaps intelacing it with reading, writing and math. It may help with the connection that a person needs to learn those skills if they one day want to be a cool historian who can teach others about Alexander the Great.
There is definitely an important aspect of laying down some boundaries- like in reality, we can’t expect our kids to be educated or get great jobs because they only know about eagles or whatever. I’m sure you intrinsically know this or you wouldn’t be concerned about this. But my point is, maybe after some time (weeks?) on his favorite subject, slowly beginning to introduce some responsibilities of doing his copywork or math worksheets. I personally have a list of things for my daughter that she needs to do if she wants to watch videos or play at the end of the day. We are still working on her doing them without being prompted, but we are getting there.
I think also identifying any areas of “blah” for your child. My daughter is fairly independent, and I can tell that I just get in her hair sometimes. I could tell she needed a break from me, so I started looking for audio instruction. For history, I am not a fan of Story of the World. We were using I know a Place, which I loved the philosophy behind. But I had to suck up my pride and take the SOTW route because she LIKED it, and it was not another subject that was taught by me.
I wonder too if your son would benefit by being around other 8 yr old who are doing the same academic things. I have heard great things about Classical conversations regarding this.
I hope some of this encourages you. 🙂
My son just turned 8, too. I totally understand that boys don’t love sitting still! Have you tried doing Nature Studies outside, maybe looking at bugs, birds, or animal tracks and going indoors after to learn about the things he finds? Also, I have found that rotating our subjects with a little planning has really helped us. For example, if we do handwriting/copywork, we would not follow that subject with one requiring handwriting. We might do art or I might read aloud, next. After art or read aloud – it might be a good time for math, because we have not been sitting still and writing prior to the math lesson. One of the reasons I love CM methods is due to the fact that she encouraged shorter lessons for younger children, and with such a variety of subjects. I do ask my 8 year old to give me his best effort in each lesson, or we will have to try again. He has learned over time to try to do his best the first time. I have noticed such an improvement in his handwriting and a desire to so a good job in each subject. But, 2nd grade is young, so give yourself and your son grace, mom. 🙂
Mine is 11. He is exactly like this. I have no advice other than just keep on and havent read the other posts, just know you’re not alone!
Paula
How are things going mama? Here is my two cents if you still needed/wanted it:
i was just speaking with a teacher friend who used to teach 1st grade and now homeschools. She said my almost 8 year old may have auditory processing issues. My husband, i think, is the same way. BUT my son hates school because he doesn’t understand what i’m asking him to do, or he doesn’t feel confident that he can do it so he pushes back. My teacher friend suggested math games that he can do and read aloud read aloud read aloud. When she asked my son about school he said “i’m horrible at it.” it broke my heart. all that pushing and being frustrated with him was what i thought i was supposed to do. but my friend gave me the “permission” i needed to pull back and now we are working on his “school confidence”. building him back up that he can do and he can learn. my son also is very into dinosaurs and knows so much about them. He will always ONLY choose dinosaur books from the library. I am learning too to give choices to my kids as they are getting older, “which book would you like me to read?” “Which math game would you like to play?” its a balance for sure, choices or doing something because it needs to get done. be encouraged, you are probably doing a fantastic job and i can tell you want the best for your child and that is HUGE. Plus, I pray. I ask God for wisdom. He knows my son more that i do. He knows what my sons needs are and i trust that He will fill in where i fall short.
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