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13 year old can't retain spelling words
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Suggestions Please! We are into our second year trying homeschool with an 11 and a 13 year old. Our son is very challenged with most subjects (except History and Science-he is an expert with these!). We always struggled with the crazy spelling lists his private school gave each week (they were cramming very difficult words too soon for lower elementary, so it seemed to me). Somehow, we “passed along”, but, now at home we can see he never really retained even some of the most basic words. For example, in his journal, these are some of his errors: ‘frindly’, ‘thar’ for ‘there’, Cristmas, ‘over’ for ‘other’, ‘wach’ for watch, restrunt, saterday, din’t, dreems, ‘contry’ for country, ‘whith’, etc. etc.. This horrifies me!!! We knew he didn’t make an A in spelling K5-grade6; but, we never realized how pitifully far behind he was until we brought them home. All the while, he was cramming and regurgitating long, obscure words each week, but could not spell words that a 3rd grader should know (and he is in the 8th). The teachers never seemed to notice, and, neither did we for which I am very ashamed. I feel like we have wasted so much time!! When we started last year, I simply used the spelling book that came with our curriculum ‘kit”. It was not as difficult as that used by their school, but it was a struggle. Over the summer I found SCM and tried to transition from the “kit in a can” to the curricula materials from here. First, we tried the Spelling Wisdom, but he not only struggled with spelling errors, but the simple act of writing. Handwriting is also an ordeal for him. It was a double torture of sorts. Then, we tried the Barton System for dyslexia; we made it to level 3, but then he wanted to quit beacause he thought this was for “mental kids’ (thoough I reassured him he wasn’t!!!) He simply did not want to be teated ‘differently. ‘ than his 5th grade sister. Now, we are just plain lost as to what to do. My son has great talents; he can play a banjo like a pro, but still cannot tie his shoes with ease. He can tell you everything there is to know about animals and American History, but cannot spell United States. I love him regardless. Is it ok to just say, “this is as good as it gets,” and accept that he simply just cannot learn the basics?? Is there a so-called ‘spelling learning block’ that never goes away? I guess it’s hereditary, just look at my posts, Ha! Seriously, we don’t know where to go from here, I don’t know what else to try. If he were in public, I know he will (already does) qualify for Sped. etc. but we don’t want to go back (though our family thinks that depriving him of it is an injustice). Sometimes, like now, I begin to doubt and wonder could he be doing better if he were there? Then I think about all the reasons why not to go back…. then I get discouraged. What would you do?
I’d try Dianne Craft’s methods. We’re using it for our six year old and seeing improvement in her spelling, reading, and writing.
I think that some people are just poor spellers. If I were you, I would make sure that he knows how to use a dictionary. Then, I would go through his writing and mark all the words that are misspelled. You should have him use the dictionary to correct his own mistakes. The more words that he uses the dictionary to correct, the less mistakes he will make. When I made my kids correct their own work, they seemed to be able to remember the spellings better. We have a few poor spellers here too.
You might look into Spelling Power. You can find a pre-test online for free. it allows you to take the child back to the point they are at, but the lists all look the same in style. They are not dumbed down or make to look cutesy. Also, the biggest advantage I’ve ound is that you only review and test on the words they DO NOT know. The school spelling lists can be so daunting b/c the children are forced to review and test on words they have mastered.
Maybe you could also try a notebook for him? His own sort of dictionary? If you see a word he continually misspells, have him write it down. You could even add tabs for the letters of the alphabet. He could write it in there. While I agree using a dictionary is great, your son may not be ready for that. For the word Christmas for instance, he might search and search based on th spelling you gave he used and never find it. This might just frustrate him more and make him feel less about himself than he should.
My DH is a horrible speller, but he is very smart and earned a degree in Civil Engineering wtih honors. Spelling comes naturally for some of us and notsomuch with others.
You might also look into the book, “Uncovering the Logic of English.” Also the ABCs and All Their Tricks. He might like to read these himself. It is worth a try!
I would make spelling more fun for him and I actually would discourage you from marking up his creative writing too much. This could take the joy out of writing. If he loves history, chances are from my experience as an Editor and with an English degree he probably is a natural writer. I would hate to see that joy taken out of him, so I would at least for a while keep th spelling and writing for creativity separate. Once he gains some confidence, you could give him the OPTION of looking for spelling errors in his writing.
I realize many will disagree but based on what you’ve shared this would be my advice. BTW, Spelling Power has a whole section on remidation and it is very action based and repeating for mastery but in a way that is fun and engaging. I think it might be worth looking into for your son.
I need to clarify that just b/c your son struggles with handwriting, I still suspect he is probably quite the storyteller. Have you tried allowing him to “write” verbally? If you have a tablet type device, it has an audio funciton most likely where he could tell stories. Or you could use a simple CD player with a recording option. I think one thing is to bring out the JOY of writing not just for a chore or soemthing to check off, but because it is fun. One of my sons loves history and his favorite thing to write is historical ficiton stories. I bet your son would like that as well, but you could always allow him to write orally by recording it.
Another thing is your son might have some sensory processing disorders. Dianne Crafft would be great for that. You don’t necessarily need the school services. You know your son best. Continue to encourage him in his his strengths and help him in his weaknesses as you are obviously doing or you wouldn’t be writing this post. Please don’t be too discouraged and be encouraged that you are doing what is best for your son (even if well-meaning family members don’t agree).
Thank you all, will check out Dianne Craft and Spelling Power. We do use the dictionary, but I admit, to save time I have been writing most of the corrections on ‘sticky tabs” to cover the errors etc. according to the Spelling Wisdom style. You are right! I probably have been quenching his spirit by “sticky tabbing” his poor journal to death!! Good point, we will not be doing that any more for the time being. Thank you as always for words of wisdom.
I will pm you when I have more time to write. The experience with my 13 year old son and memory retention may be of great help to you.
Just a note of encouragement:
First, of course you love him anyway! He is a person of eternal value and significance and God has a great plan and purpose for him (that may or may not include wonderful spelling skills :). Don’t give up on him. He may never have perfect spelling ability, but he can and will improve.
My husband was withdrawn from a private school in the 5th grade, b/c he couldn’t read. And NO ONE KNEW. How pitiful is that? He was dyxlexic and even though there were only 15 kids in his class, he went undiagnosed for 5 grade levels. I know this was 30 years ago, but my point is that he was just written off as ‘dumb’ by his teachers. That label got stuck on him and handed from teacher to teacher. No one ever tried to really teach him.
Finally, his mother pulled him out of school and let her best friend homeschool him alongside her kids for a year. At the end of the year he went back to school reading fine and making good grades. He is a college graduate,successful business owner, an active minister, and an avid reader even today – though still not a wonderful speller :).
So don’t give up! I know it is difficult to see your son struggle but just continue to celebrate the little victories and encourage him. He is intelligent and he will improve as long as he doesn’t give up. Parenting (and learning) is a marathon – not a sprint. Blessings!
Your son sounds similar to my 14 yo son in many ways. I would try taking him back to the beginning and starting again. Give him one sentence to copy correctly, make sure he knows all the words in it and then use it for dictation. I’d probably do copywork one day, discuss it, then use it for dictation the next day, but don’t let him go into it cold — talk about the words again before he does the dictation. Make sure he has success. At the same time, I would have him memorize the list of the most common words. I think there’s something like 60 words that make up the bulk of our writing. Things like with, then, there. etc.. Have him memorize maybe five a week, or two a week if that’s more palatable for him.
There are many good programs out there (we used All About Spelling for awhile), but it can be a real time-sucker to find the right one.
We tried giving our son a small electronic dictionary/speller/ thesaurus and that was a total fail. If he didn’t know how to spell the word, it would give him the wrong word. Ugh. Now he does most of his written work on the computer and spell-check is a wonderful tool.
My 13yo ds has many of the same problems your ds has. He is not a fast reader, especially out loud and just seems to not be able to picture/solidify words and their spellings very easily. BUT, he has a great memory for other things, and for that, I am grateful.
I do not critique the spelling in his written narrations anymore, just the content. He is a great oral narrator and becoming a good written narrator (although he doesn’t love writing and especially doesn’t love descriptive writing), but still does what he is told and I praise him for it. He enjoys reading, most of the time, and is moving along in grammar, Latin, and SW. His strong point is not Lang. Arts, but has a great comprehension level, and listening skills.
I used to really beat him up about his spelling, still do but not like I did, when I realized my very fluent, story-telling reader could not remember his math facts for nothing!!! Spelling, grammar, reading (off the hook!), but 5+5, not so much.
I’m not suggesting you give up on your son, on the contrary, don’t give up!! But, maybe work at it in a different way, see progress in him differently than you would your other more natural spellers. Ask him to really focus more (maybe he already is). I had to remind this ds of mine to really focus on the words, don’t skim over it (he just isn’t into LA as much as I am or his brother) as if the words are not important, etc.
Dictionaries didn’t help my son, either. He didn’t know if a word started w/ a “ph” or an “f” so that didn’t help. Extra copywork, focusing on each word, Latin, grammar, and not letting him slide. I have had to “discuss” the reason why a word may be spelled like it is, or how its Latin root may cause its spelling, or without the “E” it’s just spelled wrong or creates a whole other word, etc.
Gotta run. Your ds is not alone, and neither are you!
I didn’t read all the replies, so forgive me if this has already been mentioned. My ds11 is using Apples and Pears this year. It has been a life saver for his spelling. He is dyslexic, has had absolutely horrible spelling since he could write. Apples and Pears is the only thing I’ve seen improvement with.
It is for anyone who needs to learn to spell but it does say that it’s helpful for dyslexics. I tell my son his brain works a little differently than a lot of people’s and that’s completely ok! We do, however, have to do a little extra work to make sure these words stick because being able to write is so important. He doesn’t mind the program at all. It takes maybe 20-25 minutes a day and I am absolutely seeing the first improvement we’ve ever had.
I went to their website and then had him take the placement test. There are 4 levels of Apples and Pears. My son tested into the very first level. He was excited to pass A and move to B just this past week. His work in A&P is paying off in all of his work, and making him a more confident writer.
When I ordered A&P I told my husband it was my last hope before trying to go outside our home for help, it was that bad. I am so thrilled that I am not going to have to go outside our home after all.
Best wishes on the best path for your son and your family!
Warmly,
Jen
Wow! Just had time to look at these; I will print this out and study all your suggestions. This forum has been such a blessing to us. You all are so encouraging; and, it’s great to have so many responses from diffferent perspectives.
@ Jen – Where did you find Apples and Pears? Can’t find it on the web…do you know who it is published by? Thanks!
I think that this is it:
http://www.prometheantrust.org/startspelling.htm – there are several links if you google “apples to pears spelling”
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