Pregnancy – Older Moms 38 & Up

Okay well darn I turn 38 in March and I just had a baby so I just miss your cutoff but maybe that’s okay? I had my first at 34 and my second at 37. I have had very good pregnancies although a ton of morning sickness. This last time was right up to the end. I had a 100% natural, drug-free birth. It went really well. I guess the thing I want to say is that we do want to have more children. I’m hoping to have 1 more… Maybe 2? But probably only 1 unfortunately. I gpt married late so didn’t have the opportunity to start sooner. We have also looked into adoption with closed doors. Sigh… But we do want more kiddos and feel like my health is good enough to go for it. I don’t know if that helps but I am anxious to see what the 38 and olders say!! 🙂

Dana

Heather,

My husband and I married later in life. I was 37 and he was 47 so I had my children when I was 38 and 41.  I had wonderful pregnancies and love that I am older mommie.  I did the bradley method of natural child birth and had 2 great natural vaginal births.  

Blessings to your family!

Carolyn

I also married late (I was 32, he was 39) and we have had 4 children.  Let see, I was 35 for the first, 37 for the second, 39 for the 3rd, and 41 for my latest.

For the most part I had no real problems with the pregnancies – obviously that varies from person to person!

Because of my age the recommended an amniocentises for all of them to look for Downs Syndrome or other genetic problems.  After discussing it with my husband, we refused it with each of them.    The main reasons for one is to either terminate the pregnancy, or have time to grieve and prepare for life with a special child.  We wouldn’t terminate anyway and decided that if we were given a special child that we would rather have the baby in our arms to love while we reconcile ourselves to it.  Also there are sometimes false positives (worry for no reason), false negatives (thinking all is fine when it isn’t), and a small risk.  It wasn’t worth it for us.

I did have some problems with my last pregnancy with walking (I needed to use a cane a lot) – but honestly that had more to do with my weight than my age (although age was a factor as my starting weight was pretty much the same with each child…)

If I was still in my 30’s, even late 30’s, we would prayerfully consider one more, but that’s not the case for us.  I don’t say that sadly or regretfully. Pregancy and delivery were not good to me and my dh can not go through that again. We have been blessed tremendously with the ones we have, and now that we are both over 40, it’s not in our future. 

Now, foster care is another story.  We’d love to foster a little one but have not prayed about that enough to know if that is something we are ready for or that the Lord has that in mind for us.  My two youngest would love it, my oldest, not so much (although he would be fine) and then you have the adults (my dh and I), and I’m just not sure.

I do think that you are plenty young enough for another (my opinion, of course).  And, if you’re dh is right along side you, then, why not??  Now that I am over 40, I see how young the 30’s are/were.  I’ll probably think the same about the 40’s once the 50’s hit, LOL.

HTH and I don’t believe you will regret it, but you may regret not doing it, and then you are just that much older.  Just something to think about.

I had my 3 kids at ages 35, 37, and 39.  So I can’t compare to what it would have been like in my 20s.  None of my pregnancies were particularily difficult, but my third was far more exhausting than the other 2.  I felt totally drained and exhausted the whole time.  She is 2 years old now and I feel like I’m still recovering, energy wise.  With my first 2 I actually came out of the pregnancy weighing less than when I started, but after my third I am still about 25lbs heavier than when I became pregnant.  (And I only gained 27lbs – go figure)

I have no idea if any of that has anything to do with age, and I’m still trying to figure out if there are other issues that may be factor (investigating thyroid issues, etc.), but that was my experience, for what it’s worth.

As for being an older mom, I think it gives me a different perspective on things.  I think I make different decisions than I would have had I started earlier.  I don’t know if I would have decided to homeschool, for instance.  Life experiences (10 years of working in education and seeing the dismal state of things there) made a difference.  I also have more confidence in myself than I did 10 years earlier, so was able to go with what I felt was right rather than try to follow advice of others all the time.

Joanne

I have to say I’m finding this fascinating to read! I’m 30 and will have my 7th in January (a few months before I turn 31). My pregnancies seem to have more (longer/stronger) morning sickness the older I get, but that’s all.

Also, about the amnio – I’ve not had one, though I will probably end up with one to determine when it is safe to deliver this little baby. However, we’ve learned that there are several things that they can learn with the amnio. One is if the baby has a neural tube defect like Spina Bifida (the amniotic fluid will have spinal fluid mixed in it). This baby we’re carrying has severe spina bifida and while we had no intention of ending the pregnancy it has been very helpful for us and our baby to learn he has spina bifida. (Ours was discovered through ultrasound because it is so big). We’ve been able to follow his growth and other things regularly via high level ultrasounds, one thing we’re able to watch for is hydrocephalis (fluid backing up in the brain). There is a 90% chance he’ll end up with that, and if it happens in utero we’ll need to deliver early to put in a shunt or he’ll die from the brain damage. With the knowledge that he has spina bifida we are also now delivering at a hospital with a level 3 NICU, specialized neonatologists to stabalize him at birth, and rapid transport to the children’s hospital that will perform his back surgery with a specialized team within hours of birth. We’ll be having a C-section, the safest for him to minimize more damage to his spinal cord and nerves, which are sticking out of his back. Sometimes knowledge is important for the health of the child.

While we were lucky to learn of his SB through ultrasound, amnio would have also given us that heads up (triggering us to have the high level ultrasounds we need to see the SB and evaluate his brain fluid, etc). We also faced the possiblity of an amnio to learn if there were genetic conditions accompanying his SB, some of which have a 100% mortality rate, or indicate more surgeries needed within hours of birth, special teams assembled, etc.

All of that to say when a doctor suggests an amnio 1. Ask why and 2. pray about it. You never know what God is wanting you to know ahead of time, like how to safely deliver a child who has special situations coming with him. Never close your mind completely, saying “I’ll never ever have this test done” because there may be a time when God actually wants you to have it to help protect this life you are carrying.

I have 8 dc. I had my last 3 babies when I was age 39, 40, & 41 (actually, a couple months shy of 42). I also had one at 36 and was considered of “advanced maternal age” at that point. Yes, for those later pregnancies I was tired, more tired than the ones in my 20’s but hey, everything was easier in my 20’s. Having children at an older age has been the best thing that has happened to me. In fact, I’d have another if dh was willing.

Labor and delivery was different for each of my babies, but also the same in several ways.  Baby 35, born when I was 36, was breech and diagnosed through a higher level U/S as most likely having Down’s and a skeletal deformity of the limbs. My ob (a couple OB’s actually) turned her (ouch) and she was delivered vaginally into a room full of doctors and nurses who wisked her away immediately after birth only to bring her back to me moments later to say they could find NOTHING wrong with her.

My 6th baby, born at age 39, was born prematurely. My water broke at 36 weeks. She spent a couple days in the NICU but was fine.

After my 7th, at age 40, I developed a prolaspe, not severe but troublesome for a bit. Most likely it was due to so many pregnancies and not related to just that specific one. But, ironically, after baby #8 things seemed to improve and I have not had many issues with it since. Some, but it has not ruined my life as I was told it would.

My 8th, at age 41, nearly 42, was actually a fairly easy one even after just having had 2 other babies so close together. Yes, I was tired and sick and by the end so ready to be done that I was going crazy but I felt like that will all my others as well. So, not that different. I did have an issue with a low lying placenta that required monitering and up until the end there was a slight risk of needing a c/s. PTL I didn’t need one!

After the scares with baby #5, thinking she had Down’s, I was certainly anxious with my later pregnancies. Really though, there are risks at any age.  The children born to me at ‘advanced maternal age’ are so precious to me. I didn’t plan on having 8 children, but God did. Being an older mommy has been one of the greatest blessings in my life.