Overcoming perfectionism in homeschooling

I’m so like this.  My children are older now and I can tell you from my hindsight that it’s what you do with what you’ve got that really matters.  Just like too much stuff clutters a house and keeps you from being able to focus on anything, too many ideas and searching for a better…book, curriculum, schedule, routine, philosophy just clutters your heart and mind.  I spent so many years searching for and collecting just the “right” book that the search took up more time than actually using them. 

The more simple and doable you make things, the better and more peaceful things will be.  A happy mom is a better teacher than any curriculum.  If I spend alot of time reading blogs, talking about homeschooling, reading about homeschooling more than actually doing it, it only breeds discontent in my heart and then lots of guilt over time wasted.  If I were to spend the same amount of time, plopped on the couch available to my children to read to them, to talk with them, to go for a walk, to look into their eyes I would not feel that insufficiency or discontent because I was actually doing something to make my life better and my focus was on connecting with my children not on creating an impressive homeschool (which just feeds my pride). It doesn’t take much to have a successful homeschool, but many times I want to make sure I’m using/doing the best.  That’s not neccessarily a godly thing.

I’m being brutally honest.  I could kick myself for time I’ve wasted.  The Lord has opened my eyes to all of this recently.  Time is so short.  It’s so easy to spend your days wishing for something else, something you think is better, but the best is in your lap already.  Many times I have to do a media fast and pull away and re-focus.  What matters is what the Lord and my husband tell me to do, not what Sue is doing or what Sally is doing.  That’s what God will hold me accountable for. 

Figure out what you enjoy doing in homeschooling whether it’s being crafty, being active, being a tutor, or being the reading mom (that’s me).  Find options that fit your lifestyle as well.  The more flexible things are the easier it will be to stick to it. 

Balance is key, for there is alot of encouragement out there, but don’t spend too much time looking over your shoulder.  I tend to over analyze and complicate the simplest things when it’s so much better to keep things simple and stick to it.  I’m a melancholy personality and have to be aware of this contstantly. 

I hope this helps.  I don’t mean to sound like you are doing everything I have done, but just to offer some thoughts of what I’ve learned the hard way.  The Lord is good and merciful and redeems so much of what the locusts eat.  Each day is another chance to start over and I’m very grateful! 

Thanks, Anabetica.  You’ve helped me, too!  I spend way too much time on the computer searching forums for the best curriculums/methods—but struggle to get my simple goals like a timeline/book of centuries going.  Keeping it simple and uncomplicated is such great advice.  I think I need a media fast, too.  When our computer was down recently I felt so much better about my days.  Thanks for sharing your experience:)  Gina

Anabetica, have you been reading my mind? 

The Lord convicted me about a year ago that I spend so much time planning for the perfect _____________, but never actually accomplished anything. It became a really big problem when I realized that I was annoyed with the children for interrupting my planning. The trouble was, I was ALWAYS planning something and never doing it.

I have since greatly simplified and stick very closely to the SCM curriculum guide and only add in other favorite books. My heart and mind have been at peace since simplifying and that is a tremendous blessing. I must admit that the past 2 weeks have been harder as I slipped a bit and began my old research and plan routine, but the Lord has pointed it out to me yet again. 

Today, while I didn’t get all of my academic boxes checked off, I did…

• laugh with my kids
• read to my kids
• take a walk with my kids
• made dinner for my family
• enjoyed read aloud time and devotions with my family
• rocked my 2 month old baby to sleep
• managed to not raise my voice but remain calm in training the children all day
• praised more than corrected and criticized
•  and just generally had a great day as a mom!

Perfection does not exist this side of heaven and I want to enjoy my time with my children and not view them as interruptions to my planning for the perfect life!

All in all, I encourage you to fight against perfectionism. I think it a tool of Satan to discourage and enslave us and keep us from living up to God’s plan for our lives. Remember 1 Peter 5:7, “Casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.” This verse is a help to me, may it encourage you also.

Blessings,

Christie

I am exactly like this too!  What God has really convicted me of is in all my planning and researching I had forgotten to Pray!  I buy impulsively and swap curriculums and styles without asking God what I should be using.  My husband recently told me to make him a list of what I need for next year and I started writing down things I thought I wanted, but then I tore up the list and knew that I need to pray about it first.  Not just “Lord, help me know that this curriculum is right,”  and go ahead and buy it,  But to really wait upon HIM to guide me.

Wow, Art! What a great article and it hits so close to home!  I also read the one about the dirty commode.  I found a simple solution for that one – I bought a new $10 seat for our  commode and you’d be surprised what a difference it made!   Our commode is now a thing of beauty!

Its a relief to read that I’m not the only one planning myself to death.  I am learning to plan less and spend more time with the plan-ees!  You ladies are a blessing!

Just wanted to add that…THIS IS ME TOO!  I am now seeing that I am not alone.  Thanks for the encouragement.

~Michelle

Anabetica,

You have encouraged others beyond this forum, even.  I copied your message to my homeschool LOOP of 40+ moms and received positive feedback, too.  Hope you don’t mind:) I try to limit what I share, but your message really touched me and I knew others would be able to relate.   Blessings, Gina