SCM Discussion Forum

1. 

   Nina
   Member

   Well, I guess it was coming :( I have finally sunk so low into the depression that we had to make the decision to put our older children into ps. Atleast for this year. I don't know what the future holds for them and school. We plan to revisit the idea at the end of this year. So, sadly my 13, 11 & 9 yo will be going on Monday. This is the first time ever that the 11 & 9 yo have gone to ps and my 13 yo was pulled out 1/2 way thru 1st grade. I am devastated :( I will still have my 3 little ones home and I definetly plan on doing lots of reading with them and working with the 4yo on her own reading skills. But I will miss my biggies so much. I'm afraid to be alone :( I'm sure that sounds ridiculous to some... a grown women afraid to be alone. But I am. My biggies keep me company so much! Alot of times it has been stressful and negative company. But going from 6 at home 24/7 to 3 is a big change. I asked my hubby if I could still consider myself a homeschooler since I am doing stuff with the 2 & 4yo's. He said yes :) So, I still plan on checking in here. Hope that is ok :)

   Thanks to everyone over the last year for all the prayers, support and help!!! It has definetly been a wild ride. I'm so ready to get off of it. I hope it slows down soon!!!!!! Maybe I'll try to make a jump ;)

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
2. 

   suzukimom
   Member

   Of course it is ok to come here still!

   I'm sorry that your depression has caused this to occur.  I have fought the demon of depression (and sometimes still do) so I do understand.  Hang in there.

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
3. 

   lgeurink
   Member

   My dd11 is in a local private school due to her special needs.  I know it is not the same situation you are going through, but I wish every day she was able to be home with us or that I would be able to handle it all.  I can't.  How humbling.  I am sorry you are not able to have them all home at this time as well.  We had decided to homeschool before our oldest was born so to send our very first in a specialized public school setting 5 mornings a week by the time she was three was a terrible experience for me on top of all her medical stress.  It caused terrible anxiety, sadness (I do not believe it was depression), and feeling like a failure.  She has now been in school for 8 years, though she has been in a wonderful private school for 6 of those years.  Things got so much better as the years went by and I learned to trust her teachers and staff and saw how much she loved her friends and the experiences she has.  Again, I know it is not the same and I would be in a really dark place if my other girls had to go to school for some reason, there are very positive things about her being in school as well.  I pray you find peace, not only with your loves at school, but with your entire depression.  How very frustrating and difficult for all of you.  It sounds like your husband is supportive, praise God for that.  I will also pray for the covering of your kids with the hosts of the Army of Heaven as they are headed into this new situation.  While school scares many of us homeschool moms to death, it is still a place where God is present, a place where he is able, and a place that he desires to bless.  It is filled with people created in his image.  

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
4. 

   Jennifer
   Member

   I just want to say....

   ::HUGS!!!::

   And of course you should come chat with us!

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
5. 

   Sue in MN
   Member

   I have homeschooled since 1984 and my youngest graduates in 2013. I am not looking forward to that day. I also remember what it was like before the oldest ones were school age and able to keep me company. It is definitely different when you have older ones around.

   Many blessings on the changes in your life. A new season but still you are homeschooling your littles and you can definitely chat with us.

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
6. 

   ambergreen99
   Member

   {{{Hugs}}}  I am so sorry that you are dealing with depression.  I have been there and I know how hard it is to get out of that hole.  I pray that you get the help you need and you find peace in your public school decision.  It will be okay!  Don't beat yourself up and take care of yourself.  I put my oldest in public school for a year (we homeschooled but I was dealing with depression and couldn't handle the stress) and now we are homeschooling again.  That year didn't kill me or her.  It gave me time to get some help and take care of myself.  I don't regret it!  You are still a homeschooler and a lot can change by next year.  Please stay in touch and hang in there!! 

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post
7. 

   pjssully
   Member

   i just wanted to chime in here as i have also suffered from severe depression. I have been in the hospital several times over the last few years. I am hoping that this doesn't happen this year. My children did go to public schoool for a time when i was in the hospital. They survived and i did also. I also wanted to comment about considering yourself a homeschooler-of course you are. But i also want to say that it is important that our "identity" is not just homeschool moms. OUr identity lies with God and first and foremost we are children of God. I know for myself that i struggle with my identity and my purpose in life and while i consider being a homeschooling mom important, my first importance is my relationship with God-does that make any sense? I too would miss my older children, as they are company for me so i can empathize with you.
   Take this time to renew your spiritual relationship with God, pamper and take good care of yourself-good food, exercise, time alone with God, and medication if needed. Depression is tricky-be good to yourself and remember that God is with your children! They will learn and grow from the experience-
   Prayers for you and your family
   pjean

   Posted 1 year ago # Report Post

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