Homeschooling Boys: LONG

Dear Heather,

I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I certainly appreciate the burden you are carrying. As the mother of three girls, I have to admit that I’m afraid that someday the Lord will bless us with a boy and the poor little guy will really be in bad shape with not only a mother teaching him, but three big sisters mothering him too! But I’m not there yet, so the only thing I would suggest is Dr. Dobson’s book Bringing up Boys. Several of my friends with three boys have found this book invaluable in their endeavors to bring up Godly young men. I know Dr. Dobson shares your burden and concern and from what I understand has done a very thorough job in addressing it in his book. HTH!

Blessings,

Rebekah

Heather I would love to have a discussion with you about this. I have 2 boys and I am very committed to raising manly men – my husband calls them tender warriors. Could you be a little more specific about your concerns?

Heather I also have 5 boys and just now have my 1st girl. This question you asked really made me sit back and think. They are home with me all day, am I making sure they are godlymen?

And I thought about what they do all day and the answer is yes, I think I am. Now do I see area’s that need strenghing yes, but I know they are not sitting down all day doing girly things per say for this conversation.

My boys LOVE to be outside, and when they are they are climbing trees, cutting branches, building forts or fires, riding our 4 wheelers, or looking for critters. When being outside isn’t possible they are playing with legos, kenx, blocks, trucks and Thomas the train.

Do they like to color by all means yes if they find something that intersts them like Star wars pictures, do they like to cook, yes, I encourage my boys to cook for someday they will need to be able to cook for themselves and help there wife when need be. Do they like look at pictures for picture study?? Maybe from time to time. Do they enjoy crafts sure if it is something that is outdoors related like leaf designs, maple syruping, etc.

Those were our in and out door thoughts forme. Now on to the “manly” things. For me I never change batteries they do, I will not open a door to any building if they are will me, to the point I will hold up traffic waiting for them to remember that is there responsibility. They will fix things like when a braker for the eletricity trips I send them to figure out which one and fix it (I mean the worse that can happen is I have to reset some clocks becuase they switched the wrong one). They take the trash to the curb, they was the vehicles, and of course they help dad with anything they can. Just the other day my dh decided to tile behind the sink and there was one outside with him learning how to cut the tile, one inside learning how to figure out where to cut and one helping with clean up in the end.

Heather, I can almost be sure your hubby is spending time with those boys being boys. And as far as schooling, I guess you could (for this time) look at the schools and say 90% of those teachers are girls and they give those kids little. Youare giving them your all.

This is what I always say to my boys “Someday if God chooses for you a wife they will love me for the things you know how to do! And your dad will have taught you how to be a man”

Heather, pray with the Lord and your husband for anything that you need to feel more ok with the situation you are having. I will keep you in my prayers for boys are the kings and the head of the homes (after the Lord) we have very big jobs and God trusted people like me, you and all those people who are in Gods eyes right for raising boys.

God Bless you Heather

Misty

Sorry so long

Heather,

I have two girls and two boys and I sometimes think as the older boy joins the girls in a tea party if this is something I should allow, but yet how can I tell him “No, boys can’t do tea parties.”? We all love the out of doors and spend alot of time in it and they are learning lots, and he spends time with his Dad. (Not enough though). But we are working on that. I think as they get older they should spend more time with Dad.

I also think that just becasue they are learning foreign language and how to play an instrument or had a tea party with his sisters when he was little, is going to stop him from being “manly”.

My brother grew up an only boy with six sisters. He wanted to try on dresses when he was little with his siters! And he turned out just fine.

Just my thoughts . . .

Kristen

There is so much good stuff here that it is difficult to know where to start! You ladies are such a blessing to me. I would like to comment on our own walk with the Lord in training godly boys to be godly men so that you will be encouraged that you are doing it without even being aware!

Our boys learn so much about what it means to be a true man of God by how we treat our husbands. Do we honor? Submit? Accept correction? Or, as is so easy (especially in home school families, I think), has our husband become our helpmeet instead of the other way around? What do we do with an off-handed request that our husband makes in the morning? Do the children see it as important?

Even at a distance, Dad can be leading. He can do that with a list or a phone call to admonish and encourage. As we train our girls to be helpmeets, our boys are learning what it means to lead. In the course of this, they will also hopefully get the message that wives can be gotten in many ways, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. There is a whole picture thing going on here that I think we forget about.

Another thing that I thought of was the aspect of responsibility. In a Christian home, the saying, “The buck stops here” is crucial for a husband. That is the thing that gives us weaker vessels true rest and freedom. I just used the example this morning for my son of “Did you know that if I cannot keep up with the laundry, it is truly your dad’s responsibility?” Well, that just threw him until I explained leadership. It means that, as the leader, he needs to be attentive to one of the following: Do I need gentle correcting? Do we need a new machine? Are the children being trained properly (which could get back to do I need correcting)?

We all agree that learning the household stuff (cooking, cleaning, etc) is good training for a boy! The only thing I do not allow my boys to do is fold the girls’ laundry. 😉 They may be called to the mission field (sans a wife); they may have a wife that has a baby and they need to take over; we want to be very popular with our future daughters-in-law 🙂 ; you can go on and on, right? At the very base of it, they will learn to lead by serving. That is was Jesus did.

I agree that work is so good – mega amounts of work. There is a good book that I do not think was mentioned: Created for Work. Especially as they reach the teen years, they need a lot, a lot, a lot, of physical output. But periodic tea parties are good too because they learn to be gentlemen. If you watch your son ‘doing’ a tea party with your daughters, it’s totally different. With the girls, it’s the process. The boys want to conquer it. Over time, if it gets a little uncomfortable for us moms then we need to see that as the Holy Spirit in us directing us to engage the little fellow otherwise.

Well, as I read over this, I can tell these are pretty random thoughts and perhaps not ordered very well. I just get too excited about the vision I see in you moms, your desire to raise a godly offspring, and what God can do with hearts yielded to Him!

Blessings,

Cindy

I’ve pondered this since your initial post Heather and have read all the posts with interest as we have two boys, aged six and four.

Though Charlotte Mason is a female educator, her wisdom does seem especially conducive to raising Godly children. I am continually seeing in my own home how responsible I am for setting the “atmosphere” that our children breathe. Daily I experience what it means to be able to nurture good habits and character in them if I do not yet possess them myself in adulthood. Are the living ideas presented to them anchored by a faith in the living God? Is that faith lived out in our home?

Cindy shared so many helpful things. We are given such practical advice in God’s word but then need to have the experience to go along with it – science of relations, right?

Would I educate differently with girls? Most likely things would be different but I see so many differences between my two boys. The foundation will remain the same though and I will continually need to be led by Love.