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Homeschooling an Only
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It seems like 99% of the homeschoolers out there (at least the vocal ones) are homeschooling multiple children. I will only be homeschooling one. For those with Onlies, can you tell me about your experiences. Do you still feel just as overwhelmed with scheduling and “getting it all in”? Do you feel pressure about making sure they have plenty of friends outisde the home? Pro/Cons that you see in homeschooling an Only? It doesn’t change my choice of homeschooling (I never question that), but I’d like to hear from other parents of Onlies! 🙂
I actually have 4 children, but the oldest is 5 years older than the next. So I only homeschooled him for several years. Even though we had the others as babies and toddlers, it was so much easier to be shooling just one at a time. It may be personality or method or curriculum choices too, but we weren’t overwhelmed nearly as much. Also, I didn’t have fatigue issues then.
He was kind of a loner, but not in a sad way. We didn’t worry about friends too much. He’s in college now, and still doesn’t have a close friend to hang out with. But he is very sociable and does things with groups and has a lot of fun. He just doesn’t have a close friend. He’s happy.
I am homeschooling just one. She is 9. I am committed to keeping her home. We have 3 adult children and 2 are married and live out of state, so we are free to take trips to see them and their children. It does get tough sometimes because my daughter wants to be with her friends. I make sure we are involved in a local hs group and we get together often with a homeschooling family from our church. My daughter would be happy to do that every day, but I am trying to teach her to be thankful that she can be with them as much as she is. If I am doing something else, she often acts like she is bored. She wants someone doing things with her. I really want to be more structured, so I’m watching the DVD and using the charts in Planning Your Charlotte Mason Education. I don’t want my daughter to have so much idle time, but I don’t want to overload her with ‘academics’. She struggles with reading and math because of some visual processing and tracking problems. We had 2 good years with another curriculum, but this year she is really starting to dislike school. She would rather clean the house than do school. I am really looking forward to the nature study. She loves to be outside. She may never be the best at math and reading, but I want her to enjoy learning all she can, and I think the best way is through observation. So, I am hopeful this coming year will be exciting for her. It will require more of my time, but that’s okay. Since she likes to clean, we’ll just add more of that to her life skills:) As long as she is doing something with me, she will be happy. The years with our children are short, so I’m not going to complain about the time I need to spend with her. We go almost everywhere together and have a very close relationship. She was adopted, so having this security and stability is the best thing for her. That’s my situation in a nutshell.
You might enjoy the blog http://www.benandme.com The mom’s name is Marcy and she’s got one child, Ben. He’s 12 and they have been homeschooling for years.
Everyone’s different but I agree, it helps finding others in similar family sizes because there really are difference in homeschool simply because of the number of kids in a home. One is different than four and both have differences to larger families like mine (#8 coming this summer). Hope you find some others in similar situations!!
Thanks so much everyone!! I would have loved more kids, but my husband didnt want any more. I am hoping to talk him into fostering kids in a few years although i doubt the “state” would let me homeschool a foster child…but, who knows what the future holds! 🙂
Scoathy,
Our daughter came from a foster home. We did not do ‘foster care’. We went straight adoption. If the foster family is not planning to adopt and the child becomes adoptable, you can adopt without fostering, although you need training and have to follow rules as if you were fostering until the adoption is finalized. At least PA is like that. Also, with straight adoption, you are more likely to get an older child. We were blessed with a 2 and 1/2 year old. We didn’t expect to get one that young. God answers prayer. I cried to Him for another child, and His choice for us couldn’t have been better. You can always foster a newborn and sometimes that child will become adoptable, but not always. Letting them go is hard. We took care of a newborn through a local prison ministry for 15 months. It was tough when she had to leave. God bless you and your family.
I have 4 children, but my 7.5 yo has watched her siblings get married and go to college. We do have one ds back home, but he is still an adult.
The only regret I have is that my dd was not a twin. We can’t afford to have her in a hs support group like we had the others, and as much as I love our nieces and nephews their families do not live lives I want my dd to emulate. We visit them, but we don’t spend a great deal of time with them. So when my dd does have time with other children it is just not enough. She eats it up and then it is gone in a vapour.
Other than that schooling is grand.
Yes, I am in the “only” group as well. Have an 11 yo/5th grade boy. Tried for about 9 yrs to have another but to no avail. He was in school until 2nd grade and so I have HS him since 3rd. He likes HS but I know would love to be around other kids all day. Our church is very small and he only has a few girls that are younger to hang out with there. There are no neighborhood boys for him to be with and no relatives that have kids that live nearby. We do go to a HS group once a week and a HS P.E. group once a week but I still feel that is not enough. I truly believe that HS is best for us and that he doesn’t need to be with his own age group 5 days a week/6 hrs a day. I don’t feel sending him to school would be the answer. I feel that having likeminded friends, neighbors, or relatives to hang out with outside of school on a regular basis would be the best. But I can’t change any of that. Fostering isn’t an option as my husband isn’t on board plus if he was it would be a baby which wouldn’t be much fun for an 11 yo to play with. 🙂
So I can choose to feel guilty for something I can’t control or realize that God has a purpose for my son’s life. His experience and development as an only child may be in preparation for the future plans God has for him. I do pray that he will marry a girl with a big family so that he will get to experience the joy of being surrounded by lots of loved ones, esp on holidays.
As far as HS an only, I feel no pressure. The only pressure is choosing b/w all the great curriculum choices. My hat is off to those who have several children. You guys are amazing!! 🙂
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