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HELP! – We have habits – all of them bad!
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Well, they pushed and pushed – so I have cleaned my daughters’ room…. something they generally don’t like (although they like the end result.) The main reason they don’t like it is I throw away junk, give away a bunch of things, and put away a bunch upstairs…
So, what I left downstairs – their “tickle trunk” (probably a Canadian term… probalby a Canadian term for my generation only…) – basically a Dress-Up box… along with their outfits and accessories. I kept down a “Handy Manny” toolbox that the 3yo got for Christmas. Some puppets, and some toys for the 18mo. Oh, and a few stuffies each.
So I took upstairs the dollhouse and things that went with it, the “Medium Lego”, and a box of Misc toys.
Of course, having to go upstairs I saw my son’s room…. he had done some tidying (having realized I was going upstairs) – but I see that someone – either while looking for tools for dad messed up an entire roll of Solder (there goes $20-$30 – the tools are a mess – and so is the storage area. sigh
I think I’m going to wake up my dh (he works nights) and tell him that he can make supper so I can escape for an hour before he goes to work.
Yeah – the being up in time for some time by myself before the kids… that is one of the weaknesses and health issues I mentioned that I KNOW is causing problems….
I have a diagnosed sleep disorder… it is being treated, but not 100% effectively… and I also tend to have insomnia at night (have most of my life)… so I am not up before my kids. Some mornings my dh is still up from getting home from work – but sometimes he has gone to bed. The kids do entertain themselves fairly well in the few mornings they are up without anyone around. Even when I have had small newborns – well every single one of my children would sleep through the night very early… 5 or 6 hours right away (well, I’d have to wake them to eat)… going to 8 or 9 hours by about 3 or 4 months… and going about 11 hours after about 6 to 9 months. I honestly think that I was given those children because Heavenly Father knew my need for sleep….
Someone mentioned having them clean their rooms a few times a day – all that caused was constant strife over it… because I am serious when I say they can “trash” their room in 5 minutes… If they don’t have many toys because I’ve taken them away…. they trash it with their blankets and clothes. And yes, we greatly reduced the number of clothes.
Sorry for your sleep problem. That is no joke and it can cause unneeded stress and cause inability to function. I always struggle with that when my new babies come home. I can’t imagine having it chronically… Ugh. I hope you are able to find good help and maybe someone here that has experienced chronic insomnia can provide some adequate advice.
Sounds like you have done well with cleaning out! I love to do that on a regular basis, so freeing! 🙂 Many toys of ours are rotated from a locked area and this also helps with cleaning and clutter.
I have a thought that might seem odd but part of homeschooling is being different. If you don’t sleep well at night and your husband works nights, why not adjust the kids schedules? For example, I don’t really get any deep sleep until late hours of the morning. If I try to get up at 6 or 7, I’m exhausted all day. Instead, if I sleep a bit later, I’m fine. Also, I have plenty of energy in the evening. My kids actually do well on that schedule also. So the only day that we get up early is the day we go to our hs group. Other days, we sleep in. My kids bedtime is 10 pm, most days. Even right now, we’re doing a project for math and it’s almost 6:30pm. my hubby won’t be off work until 8 anyway.
I so badly wanted to be that mom who gets up early and accomplishes so much every day. It just didn’t work for me. I finally realized that my schedule doesn’t have to be ‘normal’, nothing else we do is normal either. We do have breaks in our day because I tutor outside the home and we have some commitments but it ll works out.
Obviously, I’m thinking of this for you, not really for the kids.
I do agree about taking away the things that they enjoy. Even if I just have to make them sit on the couch and stare at nothing, I will do it. Also, causing them to miss a meal works for mine also. I feel mean but I know they aren’t really starving and it’s an important lesson.
For what it’s worth, you’re not alone.
Not whining, just reaching out for a shoulder…nothing wrong with that we all need it…hope tomorrow goes better for you..Hugs, Linda
Agree with Linda, you just need support like all of us do.
Dztamra has a good point, working a schedule that works for you and keeps you healthy is key. As you’re experiencing some sleep issues go easy on yourself for awhile. God is strong when you are your weakest. Rest and have peace in that thought on hard mornings.
I am sorry I can’t offer you any advice because we struggle with good habits ourselves. Just want to let you know yo are not alone and you do not bother anybody with this.
We all need outside support and sometimes just let it all out. I will pray for you!Thanks again for the support. My 6yo thanked me for cleaning the room… they played with what I’d left out, and at bedtime they put it all away again… so hopefully they will be able to handle what is there now.
I couldn’t read all of the posts so I will just respond to what has worked for me because I am and was in the same boat. #1) I put all the clothes in the laundry room. I don’t know if that is feasiable for you but I bought a large shelf that has doors. It has 5 shelves one for each of us. All our clean clothes go in here. Our socks underwear and jammies go in plastic bins that pull out. I take them out of the dryer and the child that isn’t doing anything or is causing trouble is helping me put the laundry away while I fold it. We change our clothes in there and it goes right into the laundry hamper next to the washing machine. This has saved my sanity. I use to have clean and dirty clothes in their room all over the floor. Since then I haven’t had hardly any. My husband had them put their clothes in their drawers about 3 or 4 months ago thinking if has changed and I warned him. So he had to take the fall for that one. 🙂
2) I bought them large book shelves. This is to hold all the books they are allowed to read. Some of these have been off the shelf and on the floor or lego table. 🙁 But the lego table is in front of it and so I see why they are not put away properly. When I get the energy I am going to change their room around. 🙂 LOL….
3) I am setting up a new toy library. It is in a closet which I am waiting for my husband to put a lock on the door. I have cleaned it out and now I need to organize it to fit all the toys. I will put all the toys in there and they will be on a check out basis only. Except for a few( 1 or 2) regular toys that they can keep in their room on their toy shelf. This way I can see what they are playing with and discard because I know what is played with.
4) We have a shoe rack and coat rack right when you come in the door. Everyone is to take off their shoes and put them in their spot on the shoe rack. Their coat on their special hook. This way I don’t have to trip over stuff when I come in. If I see shoes on the floor then I make the person clean the area in front of the door immediately when I find it.
Now my house is not at all picture perfect. By far it isn’t…. Remember that was my new years resolution! 🙂
But this is what I have found to help me…..
Oh, and by the way do your children like to eat???? we have chores that must be done before breakfast. Just like farmers. I would tell them the first time you mess up and don’t do your chores today you will have to do before breakfast from now on. For us it was feeding the outside animals. If they don’t get their school stuff done before lunch then lunch will wait. If they don’t get their chores and homework done by snack time at 3:00 then no snack time. Don’t give in on this either. It is manditory. They will have to get it done by dinner or answer to dad. If you don’t catch it right away or they lied about it then they get to do the job again. I withhold snack time until it is done properly. If it doesn’t get done right Sit back and wait till they mess up. Then, they must reap the rewards. Yes, they will whine and cry and complain but just ignore them and walk away. Tell them you know the rules now and they are not going to change. This works great if I didn’t plan a snack. 🙂 tehe he It seems that it always works out just right. This way it leaves the ball in their ball park.
Hope this helps you in some way. This is just what I have found works for me… 🙂
Oh, I feel like I could have written this post myself. This can be so hard! But, I did have a couple of ideas that seem to help us a bit. Maybe you could do the chore packs before breakfast so that they would want to get done so they could eat? Mine tidy quicker before a meal than after. Also, I’ve noticed mine will dawdle more at a meal if they don’t like what is coming afterwards. Rest after lunch= slow eating. Outdoor play after lunch = quick eating. What if you did something short and fun after breakfast instead of going right into lessons? A card game, a read aloud they particularly enjoy? If they eat quick enough you might end up getting to lessons earlier even with the additional activity. Hang in there!
We all need outside support and sometimes just let it all out. I will pray for you!
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