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Getting Re-Started….
- This topic has 9 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 16 years, 11 months ago by
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First I want to say that I love this forum! And secondly, “Masterly Inactivity” is now on my Christmas list! 🙂
I am coming from a different direction into CM. I have actually embraced the real life learning lifestyle out of necessity over the years! The past three years have been very chaotic due to my husband being in a serious accident 3 years ago resulting in a head injury (he is 95% better now, praise God!), then my dad going downhill for two years before he passed away last month. After Dad died, I was busy helping Mom with all the “stuff” so she could go to my uncle’s in TN for a much needed rest. Needless to say, we didn’t even get a start in HSing this fall. 🙁 (Well, real life stuff but not what most people consider to be HSing!)
Since my past few years have been in “survival mode”, I’m having a time getting *myself* let alone the dc motivated to get back to a routine. We have a routine for chores and the very basics, but I must confess that too many days my older ones (16 and 14) are not getting their basics done. I know I’m dealing with a character issue in all of us!
I am thinking I need to take the “making the transition” advice, even though I’m not coming from a textbook approach? Would you veterans agree? Have any other ideas? The dc do love to learn (in spite of all the mess-ups on my part!) and can spot twaddle a mile away! 😉 I just feel sometimes like we just get the bare bones done and never get to the fun stuff, but then feel guilty if we focus on the fun stuff and basics aren’t getting done! AAAHH! Thankfully I live in a very HS friendly state!
I have 9 dc total, the two oldest dds are 21 and 19, the next dds are 16, 14, 10, 8, 6 and then I have two ds’s who are 3 and 13 months. The older girls are a big help; I just seem to be “schedulationally challenged”! Or at least implementally impaired!
Anybody else who has done a “come back” after a too-long sabbatical?
Thank you for any help! I love what I’ve read here already (both the website and the forum!)
Trisch
Trisch, I’ve been waiting to see if someone else who’s been-there-done-that might chime in. I’m happy to give some suggestions, but I haven’t been in the position you’re in, dear, so feel free to filter these through a “reality screen.”
I wonder if you could approach this “mountain” like we approach any habit, one at a time. Maybe you could make it a goal to have everybody do their math every day this week. Once that subject is in place and they (and you) are getting used to doing it regularly, you could add another one of the basics, and so on.
If your family enjoys read-alouds, you might use that as a natural consequence: if everyone gets their math (or however many basics you’ve worked up to) done today, we can read together. That kind of positive encouragement also can help the kids learn to “encourage one another toward love and good deeds.”
Just a couple of ideas. I’m eager to read others’ suggestions!
Trisch, I have different situations, as my dc are only 7, 5, 3, and 4 months. I have not had the years of HS that you or anyone else has had, but have some experince to share which may or may not help? We had to pull my dd out of K a couple years ago, and have struggled for the past few years with 1) me not having their habits down, 2) me not knowing what we were doing in hs, and 3) dd not WANTING to hs. We have had daily struggles for a couple years where we would either not get hs done for weeks, to getting maybe one thing done in the day because it was all we couild get done, and dd likely SULKED through most of that! Once I came upon CM things started to change. We are still just trying to get into routine. Every day we try something new, we haven’t yet had a “FULL” day of school, but we are getting closer. I found that once I brought in some of the living books, the tone in the home towards hs chnaged, and all my kids are more responsive! Because of some of the things we have encountered, we have had to focus big time on character, and do so daily. I have been finding though that just in the past few weeks, by working on character and fruit of the spirit, (we keep a fruit notebook) this has been slowly starting to come out in other areas reagrding school. I have been keeping a schedule for myself, and just work away at it bit by bit, changing as I figure out what is or isn’t going to work with the kids. One of the other ladies here had mentioned us moms keeping a notebook, so I started that. I have been recording journal thoughts, and ideas about the kids as we go through a day togteher whenther it be a charcter something, etc. I have found this to be a good way to really hear what the Lord is saying to me through the journal thoughts. This may help you to organise some thoguhts and keep track of how dc are responding? Like I said, I don’t know if any of this is a help to you, but this is where I have been the last couple weeks, and found to be helping me!! Good luck, and God Bless!!
Thank you, Sonya and Christina! I know I ultimately need to go before the Lord (and dh, of course!) with this. I sometimes feel frustrated trying to get the “wheel in motion”! I also need the discipline–it’s not all the dc’s fault! I was reading through Laying Down the Rails plus much of the good info you have here, Sonya, that I printed and put into a binder for me, and it’s obvious character is where we must start. The dc are really doing well for not having had me as involved as I would have liked to be the past 3 years! I feel like *I’m* waking up after a coma or something! Overall good behavior, but there are those little foxes….and I know we must get them in check or overall will NOT be good behavior! <yikes!> Thank the Lord the older girls have done so well. But it’s time for me to be totally Mommy now–and I am grateful for the help through all the crises! What’s that saying? You can only *expect* what you *inspect*! 🙂
Thank you, Sonya, for mentioning focusing on getting one thing going at a time. That is so confirming of what I sensed the Lord was telling me! And Christina, I used to journal much more than I do now. I love the idea of “Mother Culture”. I realize that I don’t spend as much time jotting down what I’m learning as I used to!
Sometimes I feel as our lives change with older children in the mix, I am doing less around the home with the dc so I am not imparting my love of homemaking to them–they don’t see me doing it!!! I have a driver now to help with the running (want to be careful there, though, not to dump too much of that on her!) which helps me stay home more. We really don’t run to a lot, but I’m sure you all know how even one errand, running to the store for an item or to my mom’s to help can interrupt the day in a MAJOR way!
And I like the idea of making time for the living books, but using that as a “motivator” for the dc! One thought I had was to give them Fridays off from Math and do a math game or something fun–but ONLY if everyone has been faithful to their math (including checking it!) with a GOOD attitude! Too much to ask?! Hopefully not! Like you said, Sonya, that encourages them to encourage and help each other!
Thank you both, again! So often we think we know down deep in our hearts what’s right, but then start second guessing ourselves! I don’t want to be drill sergeant Mommy! I was rereading the “Making the Transition” information, and I decided narrating should be first (well after short lessons!). We have a stack of Christmas books, and what better time to sneak in some narrating?!
My goals for next week–math, Birth of Jesus Study (Grapevine) and reading Christmas stories!
Thank you again for your input and I’ll “check in” next week to let you know how it’s going! 😉 (And I’m willing to hear more input if anyone has any!)
Blessings!
Trisch
I just wanted to send in a quick note–got myself up early (in spite of a cold trying to move into a sinus infection–I’ll nap later! 😉 ) to get the dc up early. Dh told them last night that the second time I had to go up and wake them up, the lights come on, and after that it was up to me what torture I wanted to do! LOL!!! They got up pretty well, got chores done, are working on school (more than I asked! <shock!>) and I’ll be reading to them shortly!
This might seem not such a big deal, but you have to know that for the past several weeks every time I tried to get things going, something messed up my well laid plans!
It also helps that for the next several weeks we’re not giving music lessons (we do that two days every other week) so our schedule is pretty free during the day. That helps!
Thanks again for your input, ladies–you might not think you had much to share, but God used your input to confirm what I thought He was telling me, and also to spark some other ideas!
Very gratefully,
Trisch
Atta girl, Trisch! Praise the Lord! Now a little reminder from Charlotte: Watch for that moment when you think, “Oh, it’s been going so well, I can allow the little darlings to sleep in this one time” or some other habit that you’re trying to re-establish. You know it will probably come some time this week 🙂 That will be the moment of truth, dear. May you have victory and the ease that comes from continuing a good habit!
I’m sure you know this truth, but it always helps me to be reminded beforehand. Keep us updated. We’re watching for your posts, praying for you, and well, . . . just “for” you!
Sonya, thank you for the admonishment! I know it will probably come Friday, as we plan to be out later at a baby shower that’s 1 1/2 hours from home! But we can nap later in the afternoon AFTER our things are done! 🙂
This morning didn’t go as well–we did get up and the girls got their part done. I had wanted to start Grapevine’s Birth of Jesus study, so I started printing off their sections (I bought the e-books–more cost effective for my crew!). Unfortunately, the printer and I had several rounds before I finally won–well over and hour later! Then some friends came over for tea and cookies this afternoon, and she is so CM encouraging! So we didn’t get *my* agenda for reading and narration done, but they played a game (can’t think of the name of it right now) where you tape who they are on their back and they have to ask each other yes and no questions. That counts for problem solving, right?! 😉
Then my 16 yodd told me that the 10 yodd “narrated” a story to her that she had read in an older magazine earlier. The 16 yodd said it was “So neat how she was narrating and didn’t realize it!” WOW! For the 10 yodd to do it and for the 16 yodd to recognize it–well, THAT was better than my agenda any day! 😀
Thank you for your prayers and encouragement, Sonya and Cindy (and any others!)! In times past I would have felt so guilty that I “messed up” on only the second day, but really, this was God’s plan today! So I really don’t feel badly about it! AND we’re ready for tomorrow–got all those Grapevine studies printed and ready to go!
God bless!
Trisch
Unfortunately, the printer and I had several rounds before I finally won–well over and hour later!
Technology has a way of upsetting the best laid plans, doesn’t it!
Then my 16 yodd told me that the 10 yodd “narrated” a story to her that she had read in an older magazine earlier. The 16 yodd said it was “So neat how she was narrating and didn’t realize it!” WOW! For the 10 yodd to do it and for the 16 yodd to recognize it–well, THAT was better than my agenda any day!
Definitely! How great!
We make our plans, then we hold them before the Lord with open hands, not clenched fists. So He can rearrange or exchange them for His plans as He wills. What a precious thought, Trisch!
Well, today we got up, or I should say I got THEM up, then I went back to bed! My youngest has a fever and had me up 5 times in the night. I thought about just getting up and trying to push through until I could nap, and my poor foggy brain just couldn’t handle it! Yesterday was derailed a bit, too, with taking ds to the doctor. But my main goal, to get up 6:00 each morning has succeeded. And who says we can’t do our together time at 3 in the afternoon?!
Yes, Sonya, I’ve learned to hold my plans loosely! I think my motto should be the intro piece to Elisabeth Elliot’s “Keep a Quiet Heart”–the quote by Annie Keary where she says the interruption IS the planned work?! And not to rush after the “planned work”! That’s my problem–I want to push back to my agenda. I realized today, babies get sick, and that is my first priority. The older girls got their schooling done without me pushing, so that is another victory!
I need to delight in the little things–whether it’s losing inches or establishing habits! 😉
Thank you again, for this forum and for your encouragement!
Trisch
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