Uh Oh….Am I Doing Too Much With Preschooler?

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  • DD4 told me tonight that school is “boring” and she told my husband (who by the way isn’t 100% sold on homeschooling) the other night that she wants to go to “regular school” after he asked her about it. You can imagine my horror because I want homeschool to be so amazing for both of my kids that regular school isn’t even appealing. For DS8 who came from the PS system, he is already appreciating the benefits – especially after starting to implement the CM style by shortening the lessons and reading more to them. My daughter on the other hand thinks she’s missing out on something…and based on what we’ve been doing, perhaps for her she is. In her mind, she’s missing the “fun” of school.

    Before recently deciding to move forward with CM, I had her doing lessons right along side her brother – but at her 4-year-old level. There have been times when I let her play on her own, but most times she wants to do “work” like big brother, so she has worksheets, flashcards, charts, school supplies, her own workbox, handwriting practice books, she chants Latin with big brother and she’s even been working on an online phonics program. A typical school day for her lasts no more than an hour and includes whatever lessons I give her for the day.

    Am I doing too much too soon? I haven’t read CM’s series yet, I’m ordering them, but I’ve seen other people mention that she didn’t advocate formal kindergarten, so I’m sure formal education at the preschool age is a no-no too. Since I don’t have the books yet, what does CM say about the younger ones?

    And since I’m guessing that I’m doing too much formal stuff with her, I want to bring in the fun for her – more games, painting, crafts, coloring, beadwork, etc. She told me she likes me reading to them and she likes the breaks and when school is over! Laughing Obviously I have some correcting to do to make it more attractive to her and something she looks forward to.

    At this point do I just STOP everything I’ve been doing with her and just go to life learning, games and books, or do I follow her lead if she asks for something like wanting to do worksheets or practice writing her name or reviewing her word flashcards? I guess I’m concerned about her losing or forgetting all that she’s accomplished if I abruptly switch gears.

    Again, my greatest concern is that I want to instill in her heart a love of learning and I want her to view school as fun and exciting and not some boring, tedious task she HAS to do day in and day out but WANTS to do all the time, even during non-school times. If I am to continue homeschooling my children my husband has to see not only their progress in all areas life and academia, but he needs to see that they truly enjoy learning in the manner in which they are learning.

    Any advice is welcomed and appreciated.

    krw

     

    suzukimom
    Participant

    Yes, CM advocates nothing like that type of schooling for little ones.  Lots and Lots of outdoor time is recommended.  What I would do is back up, read her good books, and let her do some of the fun craft stuff like you mentioned.  Practicing drawing (not in a lesson), using scissors, and that type of thing is fine.  Do some active things – learn to jump rope maybe (ok, probably pretty hard for a 4 year old…. maybe do hopscotch where she can hop on both feet instead of only one?)   Have her learn some things from life – sorting socks, making a cake or something (I do things like say…. hm, I have to put 2 scoops in, and I have put in 1…. how many more scoops do I need to put in?)  If she asks to do one of the school activities, I would let her – but I would try to make the other activities fun.   Also, looking towards some sort of useful handicraft…. sewing cards is good…. then once she can do those – you can give her something like felt and a blunt needle, and show her how to make stitches on that….  then eventually (around age 5.5 or so) doing a project in plastic canvas…

    The other thing is that kids that age want to go to school.  They have very little idea what school is like except what is shown on TV shows (if they watch any) – which if designed for youngsters is all about what a happy little experience it is.  My son was constantly saying he wanted to go to school. (fueled by him having a year and a half of preschool.  The first year he loved.  The second half a year he hated it, didn’t want to get ready to go, etc – so we quit.   He, of course, only remembered later the stuff that he loved, and thought that playing with all the cool toys and that at preschool was what school was like.)

    What did I do?  We would go to the school during recess time, and let him play…. the bell rings, and all the other kids have to go sit at a desk, but he can still play.  I’d make comments when we were at the Y, or the museum, or other things we would do that the kids sitting at school have to miss out on this.  (ok, I make school sound a bit worse than it is…)   Now that he is in Year 1, and is grumbling about doing something, I’ve pointed out that he does school for an hour or two, but <nephew’s name here> does school all day.   (I am dreading the next time he sees his nephew, who is in grade 1, because I’m sure the nephew will tell him how much fun it is….)

     

    I hope this helps some!

     

     

    Suzukimom,

    Thank you. It is helpful to know that it is just typical for that age to want to go to school. All of her little neighborhood friends went off to kindergarten this fall so she’s feeling a bit left out. And last year we used to go have lunch with big brother at school once a week so she got to see all the kids running around playing, and also last year there was a period when I was looking for a PT job and interviewed at a local childcare center (needed something that would work with her!) and she got to participate in the three-year-old classroom and remembers it vividly so for her, these experiences are “school”. You’re right – they see the fun of it. Recess and play time only last so long.

    I think I will do like you and just start gently reminding her of all the fun things she gets to do because she’s homeschooled and point out that her neighborhood friends can’t because they go to regular school.

    Thanks again, you did help!

    krw

    crazy4boys
    Participant

    I think SCM is coming out with an “Early Years” book in the next month or so which should help a lot with the figuring out what to do with the younger kids.

    My youngest is 3 and he spends a lot of time in the same room we are in, but I give him activities that will keep him quiet.  His favorite right now is putting beads on a pipe cleaner and sticking small pom-poms into an empty Parmesan cheese grater.  Some of the activities help him learn colors, numbers or shapes.  Some are for counting.  Others for sequencing or matching.  Some are for fine motor skills and some are for fun.  He also colors and does water colors or looks at picture books.  I rotate the activities every few days so they don’t get old.  If he wants to run off by himself, he can.  By 4 he’ll probably be doing a bit more “work” and wanting to be like his brothers.  My 5-yr-old was doing some worksheets by 4, his choice, but I’d only give him 2 or so a day and the rest of the time was for “activities” or sitting on my lap.

    We also try to take recess breaks and spend time either outside or doing something active in the house.  This is a great time to include the 3-yr-old in something his level.

    This year we also added in Circle Time.  Everyone, older boys included, gathers around to sing silly songs and read picture books.  The 9-yr-olds roll their eyes, but they are also glued to the books and I find them looking through them later.  They’re also the first ones to jump up for the Hokey Pokey.  It’s a good way for the family to interact together.  It also gives us a break in the middle of our academic day and the little guy gets his attention bucket filled.  We usually do it after devotional and history when they’ve been sitting for 30 to 40 minutes.  Then we all move upstairs for math and there are different activities up there for him.  After being there for a while we come back downstairs to the original activities.  Moving location helps shake things up too.

    One of my sons asked, in first grade, to go to public school and I panicked.  My mom suggested we ask him why.  He said he wanted to ride a bus and have recess.  So we took a public bus once and that was done.  Then I started calling their breaks “recess”.  He was happy at home again.  Sometimes it’s just a small thing, that is big to them, but you can easily duplicate at home.  “They paint at school” or “They play with Playdough” or “They get to dress up”.  Ask her.

    We have special “homeschool” celebrations – the first day of NOT going to school, “hey, we can go in the middle of the day when no one is there”, the matinee at a movie, bowling in an empty building, etc.  We find ways to do fun things that we can only do because we homeschool, while still maintaining respect for public school because that’s where their friends and cousins are and I don’t want bad blood.

    Good luck!

    Heather

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