Tristan – chore training…..

It was a whole series of posts.  Do you just want the part about how we actually do chore training, skipping the things we tried leading up to it, etc?  I’ll start with that and can add more if someone has questions.
<h2>Step One – Assign chores on a YEARLY basis.</h2>
We train children in new chores each summer and they keep it for a full year.  This gives us a firm foundation and they truly master the job.  In the beginning it’s hard to learn a new job.  Be aware of the workload you give each child.  Yes, different ages have different abilities, but we can’t heap all the work on the oldest child or two and leave the younger ones with five minutes of chores.

<i>So have you decided who will get each chore</i>?  That’s the first step, go write it down!

If your children are all young mom will still have a lot of the chores to do.  I’ve been there.  Those young children can be a real help so don’t despair!   Be realistic about what will get done, include children whenever possible, and lower your expectations.  This is the time when some jobs just are not a priority.  Even with a few older children we have things that just are not a priority in our family – like folding and ironing clothing.  It’s okay, I promise.
<h2>Step Two – Prepare the tools for each chore.  </h2>
If you’re giving the seven year old the task of vacuuming they’ll be more successful with a light, easy to push vacuum.  If you’ve assigned the 4 and 5 year old to empty the dishwasher do what we did – move all dishes to cabinets under the countertop and consider using only plastic dishes for a while.  It’s worth it!  If you want a child to dust, get them a tool for the job.  Have someone assigned to wipe down the bathroom sink?  Get a spray bottle for water and vinegar and put it in the bathroom so it’s ready.
<h2>Step Three – Chore Boot Camp</h2>
This is the key.  Children and mom spend a few weeks of summer having boot camp to learn those new chores with lots of supervision.  Think about the boot camp analogy.  New military recruits have constant supervision, specific directions every step of the way, and lots of repetition.  It is more work for mom at the beginning of boot camp.  You will be doing chores alongside your child or children.  This is one reason we like to do this in the summer when time is a bit more relaxed.

We begin Chore Boot Camp by telling the new recruits what chores are theirs.  On day one we demonstrate their chores, showing them the tools and how we do the job.  The more we can verbalize each step the better.  We want to get the chore in their head with as many senses as possible.

On day two through five mom does each chore and the child comes alongside to do each chore after her.  When mom does the chore she’s going to verbalize it, “I need to wash the bathroom sink.  I’ll get out the spray bottle and rag first.  Then I’ll spray the sink and wipe it clean.  Now I’ll put away the spray bottle and toss this rag in the laundry basket.”  When the child does the chore mom will again verbalize it, with the child repeating after her and doing the actions instead of mom.  I explain to my kids that it’s like I’m the narrator and they’re the puppet or actor doing what I describe.  By the end of day five your child has successfully completed their chore correctly several times.

Day six through ten are child-led.  Mom is with the child to watch and see if they can verbalize and do the job.  They’re trying to prove they’ve learned the steps.  Execution will still be sloppy, that’s okay, we want them to remember each step for now and do their best.  Mom is on hand to remind them of a step if they skip it.  We want them to get this routine down exactly because routine is what carries us through so much of our mundane chores.

If all is going well then on day eleven the child graduates to going on missions.  Instead of mom coming along on each chore she gives her child their first mission, “Go empty the dishwasher.” Or “Go take out the trash.”  They must now go do all the steps and return and report the mission as complete.  Like any good supervisor mom will listen to their report (Ask, “What did you do?”) and then inspect the result first hand.  If this child has more chores to do at this time mom sends them on the next mission, hears the report, and goes to check it out.

<i>This stage, like each of the others, is flexible.</i>  A child may need a few days here, or a full week.  If they are distractible I’ll share a tip for helping them be successful in a minute.  Once the child is completing single missions each time you send them it’s time to up the difficulty.  Send them on the full mission to <i>do all their chores</i> before they return and report.  If they have three chores to do in the morning they get all 3 done before reporting and mom inspecting.  If they have two afternoon chores they do both before reporting and inspection.

Moms, this is where we have to be diligent.  It is usually OUR lack of consistency that brings on chore apathy and just getting by.  Do not expect what you are not willing to INSPECT!  Boot camp has officially finished but inspections continue.  When a child begins to slip by doing part of a job or skipping one all together there are two routes to take.  You can administer consequences or move back a step or two into boot camp and retrain.  Which route you choose depends on the child, their age, and your own mom radar.  Is this a child pushing boundaries to see what they can get away with or is it simply a child who has gotten careless and could use a brush up on proper chore routines?

Consequences vary by family.  At our house for chore problems we usually require the job to be redone from the beginning, possibly more than once.  There is nothing like calling a child in from playing because they didn’t make their bed and having them take all bedding off the bed, make the bed, take all bedding off again, and make it again.  It takes so much of ‘their time’ and perhaps they will think twice the next day and just do it right the first time.  Maybe adding an extra chore to their load that day will be a great consequence for shirking the ones they already have.  We keep some chores open on purpose for this, such as washing a section of the walls.

If you decide retraining is needed that’s okay too.  You most likely don’t need to go all the way back to day one of boot camp.  Try one day talking them through each part of the chore again while they do it, then single chore missions for a bit, then the full chore mission again.

If they are old enough to read or distractible enough to need prompts long term write down and laminate a checklist of each step in a chore.  This is given to them with their tools. (Use pictures for non readers). A very distractible child being assigned to clean the downstairs bathroom might see a checklist like this:

1. Put away items on the counter top.
2. Get out spray bottle and rag.
3. Spray counter, sink, and outside of toilet.
4. Put spray bottle back under the counter.
5. Wipe off all the cleaning solution with the rag from counter, sink, and outside of toilet.
6. Put rag in the dirty laundry basket.
7. Empty trash can and put a new bag in it (these are stored under the counter).
8. Take trash to kitchen.

Thank you for posting this.  I think I get something new out of it each time I read it.

Don’t you all do all the cleaning daily and not weekly, too?  Like vacuum, bathroom, trash, etc.?  Do you have any weekly chores?

Thank you so much for sharing this. I have really struggled with assigning chores so I will often times just do it myself. That can get overwhelming with a family of 8 and a small homestead farm. I think this will really help me put things in order!!

Chores have morphed here a bit so let me explain that!

For the last year we’ve had a chore system that allows children to do chores voluntarily for pay.  You see, the kids already had a handle on HOW to do the chores thanks to our chore training that had been going on for the last few years (and I still have little ones in training too).  It has been an interesting experiment and opportunity for children to learn to handle money and the realities of “if you don’t work you’re tough out of luck”.  During this time any child could choose from the available chores and payday came every two weeks for those who had worked.  There have been weeks where all the children worked for some pay, weeks where one or two children did a lot of work and made money while the others didn’t, and even some times when none of the children worked and Mom and Dad had to pick up the slack (but didn’t have to pay anybody).  They have started to grasp the wonderful concepts of work, saving, and how your choices matter.

Sometimes I have had to do chore training/brush up for a particular child, of course.

Any time of day a child can come to check if a certain chore is available to do and then go do it.  I also can call out, “Does anyone want to make some money?” when I have a chore I need done and they can volunteer.  If nobody volunteers I do the chore myself, but generally someone volunteers.  It helps that I have so many kids – there is always someone wanting to earn money.

This summer we shifted a bit, in that we began requiring children to do one chore in the morning (must be done by 10am).  It could be any chore that hadn’t been done that day.  Why?  Because quite honestly this pregnancy has been rough (lots of all day sickness followed by and intermixed with bleeding that has been serious and put me off my feet a few different times) and I’ve needed more help.

We are talking about returning to assigned chores for each child this fall with an accompanying ‘salary’ when you do the work because it is another real life situation we want them to get a taste of.  Kids will also be allowed to pay their siblings to do their chores, which means if someone has money saved from working they can choose to pay a sibling to do one of their jobs on any given day or week.  Why?  Because that’s the way it works in real life!  You earn money, save money, and can choose to pay someone else to do a job you don’t want to do – IF you’ve got enough money.

We have really been able to use this in so many ways to teach some life skills.  I know that our chore boot camp foundation made this work for pay experiment possible.

Other random things I want to mention:

• We do not pay children to do anything in their bedrooms.  Picking up, making beds, etc – that is just what is expected.  And we don’t pay kids for the time they spend helping cook (we spend 3-4 hours per day cooking because so much has to be done from scratch and in bulk with food allergies to work around).
• Younger kids in general seem to learn how to do each chore without an intensive boot camp and year on one chore because they often start out by simply helping me or an older sibling every time a particular job is done.  So they are getting the training but it is less formal.  So, as an example, Mason is 3.  He knows how to unload the dishwasher on his own and will do so, with minimal assistance because his wheelchair complicates things a bit.  But he’s spent over a year ‘helping’ others unload and is now at 3.5 doing it himself.  Caleb is 4 and has started asking about cleaning the bathroom.  He hasn’t been trained on all the steps – so for a while he’s buddying up with whoever IS doing one of the two bathrooms each day.  And when they say he’s ready to do it on his own then I’ll step in and watch/check up on how he does and do and final training he needs.

And I’ll go ahead and give examples of who has already ‘mastered’ each kind of chore.  Here are the kids current ages for perspective: Makayla 14, Joseph 10, Emma 9, Daniel 8, Oliver 6, Caleb 4, Mason 3, Samuel almost 2.

• Load/unload/run dishwasher – Makayla, Joseph, Emma, Daniel, Oliver, Caleb.  Mason can unload but can’t reach the counter to load from his wheelchair. Samuel helps unload but isn’t consistent at doing the whole dishwasher himself.
• Vacuum carpets – Makayla, Joseph, Emma, Daniel, Oliver.  Mason is learning to use a lightweight vacuum but it’s challenging still.
• Sweep wood floors with a broom – Makayla has mastered.  Joseph, Emma, and Daniel are still learning, which means they miss some, but they’re decent enough at it that I’ll pay them for a careful job done.
• Picking up the porch – We have an enclosed porch where we keep shoes, gloves, some plants, and ‘things’.  Makayla, Joseph, Emma, Daniel, Oliver, Caleb can all do it.
• Picking up a room prior to someone sweeping or vacuuming – All children, though Samuel obviously needs direction.
• Watering and weeding pots and garden – Makayla, Joseph, Emma, Daniel, Oliver.  Caleb needs shown what is not a weed.  Mason just digs in the dirt with Samuel and rips up plants indiscriminately.
• Cleaning a bathroom – This involves wiping down mirror, sink, toilet, floor, replacing toilet paper roll, putting up a clean towel, emptying trash can.  Makayla, Joseph, Emma, Daniel, Oliver.  Caleb is learning this one.
• Taking trash out of the house to the bins – Makayla, Joseph, Emma.  Daniel and Oliver usually weigh about what the bags of trash weigh so they’re not strong enough yet.
• Feeding pets – we actually DON’T pay for feeding pets but here is what we have and who does it.  Outdoor cat (anyone Caleb and older, Mason can’t carry food or water down the steps in back and there is no wheelchair ramp) hermit crabs in a tank (Makayla, Joseph, Emma, Daniel, Oliver), baby bearded dragon in a tank (only Makayla, but it’s her pet she bought with her own money and you feed it live insects along with fruits and veggies).
• Washing walls and baseboards – All kids can do this.
• Washing off cabinet fronts – All kids, though youngest few can’t reach upper cabinets.
• Cleaning out microwave – Makayla, Joseph, Emma are the only ones who can reach.
• Cleaning out the fridge – This is done about once a week under supervision in preparation for grocery day usually, but if someone asked to do it daily I would let them. Makayla, Joseph, Emma, Daniel, Oliver, Caleb.  If I want the shelves removed instead of just wiped down then only Makayla can do it, they are glass shelves.
• Laundry – If a child wants paid they have to do the entire laundry cycle (wash, dry, and put away the entire load).  This limits the job to those tall enough for our top load washer – Makayla, Joseph, Emma, Daniel with a step stool.
• Sorting and reshelving books – This involves finding stray books from rooms around the house and putting all books on shelves properly (I have some kids who will return books to a shelf by stacking horizontally on top of books already shelved, so fixing that is part of the job).  All kids, though Samuel and Mason need direction.
• Wiping down the table, chairs, and booster seats – Makayla, Joseph, Emma, Daniel, Oliver, Caleb, Mason (who gets on top of the table to wipe it down..lol).

Okay those are the ones that come to mind.  I’m sure I missed some…lol