Too overwhelmed – what to do???

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  • Sara B.
    Participant

    I am being pulled in too many directions, hubby and I have decided.  Something’s gotta give, and it can’t be meals!  LOL

    I need my kids to be a little more independent from me.  My oldest 2 (10yo in Year 5, 9yo in Year 4) are good readers now, so they can do most of their stuff on their own, especially the 10yo.  I don’t do much with her except narrations and math mostly.  The 9yo has a few other things besides those 2 things that she needs to do with me.  Then I have a 6yo (almost 7) who can’t read yet, but is trying, so I do everything with her.  And my 4yo tags along – sometimes I have time to work on something with him, sometimes not.

    How can I gain even more independence from me without leaving (or somewhat leaving) CM????  I don’t want to leave CM.  I LOVE CM!  But I just can’t keep having school pull me in so many different directions.  This month has been terrible.  They can do their independent work, but I just have not had the time or energy, or even motivation anymore, to do their stuff with me.  Which means narrations have been sporadic, at best, and I know that is the most important part of their education.  It is so frustrating.

    I’ve been scouring the internet all afternoon/evening trying to come up with solutions.  I have narrowed it down to 4 ways of schooling that I am comfortable or somewhat comfortable with:  CM (obviously my first choice), literature-based (I’d have to look into this more – most of what I saw was stuff like Sonlight, which isn’t necessarily bad, but it’s not much different than what I’m doing now), unschooling (my least favorite of the 4 because I know me – we’d never do a thing then!), and Self-Directed Learning.  Self-Directed is intriguing, but I can’t find much info about how to do it/implement it without buying somebody’s book or curriculum.  I kept running into this thing called Project Based Homeschooling, but it sounds just like unschooling, and my kids don’t do much “projects” like what they are giving examples of (building a treehouse from scratch and having to find their own books/info/mentors, was a common example), so not sure that would even remotely work for us.

    Thoughts, advice, comments, etc are much appreciated!

    HiddenJewel
    Participant

    How much are you trying to do with your 6yo? Just the 3Rs is good at that age, especially if something has to give. Everything else is gravy but not worth stressing over.

    Wings2fly
    Participant

    Here’s my 2 cents. Stay with CM and just do basics for now.

    Do short math lessons. Is there any way you can combine your 2 older dc for math at least some days? We sometimes play a math game or pattern blocks or tangrams. Or we watch Mathtacular or read a living math book like MathStart by Stuart Murphy or you could read LoF.

    What are you doing when they give narrations? My ds9 still does oral narrations but he has to come and find me. So I am usually cooking or doing laundry while I listen.

    Work on getting your ds9 more independent, one subject at a time. You could get some ideas from urthemom.com. She has a book too.

    Honestly, I am overwhelmed and have too much to do too. It helps me to focus on priorities and write a to do list to go by. I am trying to stream line and get good systems in place for meal planning, shopping, and cleaning. At the end of the day I do not get done all that I wanted to get done, but I know I got the most important things done and everyone was fed, clothed, and still living and breathing. They are always learning and growing.

    I will keep a watch for other helpful tips here because I think no matter what you use for hs, it will be hard to get it all done. The cooking, cleaning, teaching, planning, discipling, etc. All I know is prioritize, delegate, and have good systems in place. Have you seen the book Large Family Logistics? I am working my way towards implementing her ideas, slowly but surely.

    nebby
    Participant

    Is the problem that too many kids are demanding your time during homeschool? I have 4 kids and I often feel like there is a line up waitIng for my attention. One thing they really helps us is to do as much as possible all sitting down together. Honestly my oldest is 13 and we just got to the point where I have them read most of their own history. And the time we all sit together and read bible and history and do things lIke picture study is my favorite part of the day. Sometimes I feel pressure to have them do more on their own but I also know these are rare days we won’t get back. I would combine as much as possible and maybe even consider reducing what you have them do to get to a point where homeschool is enjoyable for you.

    Nebby

    http://www.lettersfromnebby.wordpress.com

    Kayla
    Participant

    Is it possible for your oldest to do math with the 6yo? That child should know what the younger is learning inside and out and teaching to somebody else is always a great way to learn.

    Also, I know it’s hard but do you get up before everyone or do you wake up when the kids do and start your day feeling behind. When I get up in the morning (just 30min before the kids) it makes all the difference in my productivity and attitude during the day.

    Kayla

    momto2blessings
    Participant

    I think it was Christie who mentioned having her kids tell their narrations into a recording device ($10 at Staples, I think?) And you can just listen while you make dinner, etc. Would that help? I would try to stick w/CM if at all possible. Maybe just have them do history and science books that they can read themselves and narrate into a recorder? 

    This year we started doing together readings while the kids eat breakfast. I read while they eat, and any follow-up mapwork, etc. we just do immediately after breakfast.That has really helped us time-wise. Last year we tried together stuff after lunch and I’d waste time finishing up on the computer, someone would need the bathroom or want to grab art supplies, etc. We’re much more efficient now completing together stuff first and then they are motivated to finish independent workon their own w/o waiting on other family members.

    On self-directed learning, I read “The Self-Propelled Advantage” and I think you can do that w/CM. Just basically they’re doing most of the work on their own and also correcting it themselves. The goal is mastery and figuring out as much as they can on their own w/you as a resource. It’s probably easier w/a workbook approach, but if you used recording devices for narrations I think it would work. My 11yo 5th grader is mostly independent and reading his own Apologia. I bought the Astronomy notebooking journal and it has a schedule of what to read and do each day (twice a week) and he just checks off when completed. I also bought the science supply kit so we’d always have everything. He also reads all the SCM family and age-appropriate history books. I read SCM Bible and geography during breakfast. We’re doing Greece and history readings are only twice a week…once he narrates to me orally, once he writes it.

    Hope you find a good fit soon! Blessings, Gina

    P.S. Oh, and if I got to a point where I just couldn’t keep up but still wanted to homeschool Easy Peasy is intriguing to me. We’re using their Spanish and Health/P.E. this year and it’s going pretty well.

    Tristan
    Participant

    What I hear when I read your post is this:

    School works fine except for the things that you need to do with them. Those are not working because you lack “time, energy, and motivation”.

    Am I right?

    If so then what I would look at are a few things. First, are you really committed to homeschooling? Because it’s okay to admit if your heart is not in working with your children. But if you are determined to homeschool then it is going to take YOU. There is no way around it. Yes, they can learn to be independent in many things, but when it comes down to it mom needs to be involved in a regular day to day way.

    Second, what in your life is taking up your energy? Do you have health troubles that need addressed, an unhealthy diet or lack of healthy habits like exercise and sleep? What can you do to regain energy?

    Third, what in your day is sucking away your time? Because, quite frankly, it doesn’t take that much time to listen to narrations and do the subjects that are not independent when your older two are pretty much independent (according to your post). Are you on the computer a lot? Reading a book for you? Scrapbooking? Talking on the phone? Watching tv? It could be anything, but if it is taking up too much of the time it needs to go. With even just the morning dedicated to focusing on your children’s schoolwork you would get it all done with time to spare. I promise! We do it every day with eight kids, medical needs, and three children under age 3.

    PLEASE understand I say this in love. I’m not judging you at all, just sharing what I’ve learned the hard way. If my health is suffering I have to address it, not ignore it. When I let other things creep into my morning hours and distract me from homeschooling my children, no matter how good those things may be, I end up feeling pulled in too many directions. ((HUGS)) It’s not easy to live the priorities we say we have. At least for me. I find it is all too easy to get sucked into other distractions and home and homeschooling are the first things to suffer.

    ServingwithJoy
    Participant

    Quick Thought/Question:

    Are you transitioning your 9 and 10 year old into written narrations yet? I know that for some kids, that would be too soon, but others could handle it. Think about notebooking or the recording of narrations. Also (and I know that I will get pummeled for this) they don’t absolutely have to narrate absolutely everything they do! I mean, yes, narration is wonderful – but if it is a choice between lessening the narrations and turning your entire school inside out, I would choose to pull back on some of the narrations.

    Also – a six and four year old take a lot of time and attention, absolutely. But not in school! Pick the time of day you have the MOST energy. Track it for a week if you don’t know. Then set aside 30 minutes during that time of day to work on the disciplined studies with your 6 year old. That is about all it takes at that age.

    I started having health issues a couple of years ago, and I had to restructure our schooling a bit. For me, making school the number one priority and doing it in the morning before the rest of the world horn in on our day was the answer.

    It isn’t easy, but it is worth it!

    ‘After you have done everything to stand – stand firm!’ Eph 6:13.

    Hang in there!!

    Tristan
    Participant

    Serving with Joy is right, we don’t narrate every single thing every day either.

    TailorMade
    Participant

    Posting Eph. 6:13 on my fridge!!!

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