The Early Years…needing encouragement

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  • March 13, 2015 at 2:31 pm
    jen fletcher
    Participant

    I recently bought The Early Years book intending to read it with my mind toward my 2-year-old.  Instead, I keep reading quotes about how vitally important these “early years” are and I’m continually thinking about our foster kiddos.  Has anyone been in this place?  Where you have no control over those formative preschool years and now they’re in early elementary (still young, I know, thank goodness–they’re six and seven) and you’re hoping you can mend what was broken?  Is it possible to mend what was broken?  And what habits to start with, as we TRY to fix things?  (Personally I’m thinking attention…we could definitely use some work there lol.)

    March 13, 2015 at 4:36 pm
    anniepeter
    Participant

    I haven’t been exactly in your place, but i didn’t start anything early enough with my older kids, except reading, which i started too early with one.  But i think the priority is still the same.  The are so many wonderful things to try and instill… BUT, If we all get the big 3 in place… Attention, obedience and truthfulness, and do all we can with the atmosphere of the home, I think we’ll be OK.  So take courage.  You are doing a whole lot for those kids already.  Give yourself grace, give it you best effort, and trust God with the rest.

    March 13, 2015 at 4:43 pm
    Wings2fly
    Participant

    I can relate to what you are saying.  My daughter is 8 now, but when she was 3 – 4 years old was a rough time in my life due to my parents’ divorce and our subsequent move.  Looking back, I have a hard time remembering those early years with her.  I know I also had my kids watching lots of PBS kids shows, thinking I was helping them to be smart.  And they played games on the PBS kids website.  Now I know better.  I know there is much wisdom to be found in Charlotte’s advice and methods (And Sonya’s Early Years book).  We did not work on habits, and I was foolish in counting to three, encouraging delayed obedience.  I have continued to struggle with her in the top three, but I have seen great improvements with her the past year, especially when I give more attention to her and helping her with these important habits.

    Something that really helped me to bond more with my daughter in recent years is The Five Love Languages for Children by Gary Chapman.  I recommend you read that.  I do special things for her and sometimes we have a mommy and me date with just the two of us, usually some shopping.  And she likes for me to lie down in her bed next to her at night and hold her (touch), talk and pray with her (words of affirmation), and just be there for her (quality time)…so 3 of the 5 love languages.  I don’t do it every night, but when I can or need to.  I really see a difference in her then, in a good way.  I try to put a little more thought into the gifts I give her, too.  HTH.

    I think character training and stories can be helpful to motivate them, too.  We have used various books and are currently using Wisdom by Mildred A. Martin and the Millers and Character Trails from Marilyn Boyer.  We read from Proverbs, too.

    March 13, 2015 at 4:52 pm
    Wings2fly
    Participant

    Meant to say Wisdom and the Millers by Mildred A. Martin.  And to clarify, top three habits being attention, obedience, and truthfulness.  TV and computer are very limited now.  These do not help them gain attentiveness.  Reading aloud and playing family board games are done more now.

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